11/28/2023
Where did all the "tough love" recovery stuff come from, anyway?
If I had to guess, I'd say it morphed out of an original 12-Step message, which states we should go out and find other sufferers to help. However, if they are not willing to accept our aid, we should cut our losses and go be of service to someone else.
Makes sense.
But somewhere along the line that message changed into the idea that any time we try to help someone in the throes of addiction, we're enabling them, and causing more harm than good. Instead, we should withdraw our support, hoping the negative consequences of one's addiction will be punishing enough to initiate the desired change.
Aka, the “tough love” approach.
Behavioral psychologist B.F. Skinner concluded that punishment, as a method to create long-term positive behavioral change, hardly ever works.
And this certainly seems true with addiction. As a society, we have been punishing addictive behavior for decades, and that strategy has not shown promising results thus far.
It makes sense that these tactics fail, since we now know addiction is a legitimate medical disorder, not a bad habit nor a moral failure.
Gabor Mate says, "At the root of all addiction there is pain." The chemical dependency or addictive behavior is simply a desperate attempt to self soothe unbearable turmoil.
When we look at it through this lens, we can see that adding punishment into the mix only increases the existing pain, deepening the wounds that are ultimately in need of healing.
It's true we can't "fix" anyone, but this isn't about fixing; it's about helping. And helping can certainly lead to healing.
If you or someone you love is in need of a compassionate approach to addiction recovery, reach out to us today. www.prairierecovery.com/contact-us/
Source: NIDA. 2018, October 15. New NIDA Research Reveals the Power of Social Reinforcers.
