Melva Johnson Relationship Institute for Couples

02/19/2025

Why Is It Important to Be Present, Especially During Challenging Times?


The Story of Carl and Carol
Carl and Carol, in their late 50s, had shared 25 years of marriage filled with joy, love, and inevitable challenges. Despite their many happy moments, they often found themselves caught in arguments and misunderstandings that left them feeling disconnected. Their relationship transformed when they discovered the power of truly being present with each other.

Carl was ambitious and often preoccupied with work and future goals, while Carol cherished the small, meaningful moments and craved quality time.
Their differing priorities led to frequent conflicts, leaving both feeling unheard and misunderstood.

One evening, while Carl was deeply absorbed in work at his laptop, Carol approached him gently.

“Carl, we need to talk,” she said softly.

“Not now, Carol. I’m busy,” he replied, his eyes fixed on the screen.

“This is important. You always say you're busy, but we never have time for each other anymore,” Carol insisted.

“Here we go again,” Carl muttered, finally looking up. “You don’t understand the pressure I’m under at work.”

“And you don’t understand how lonely I feel! I miss us, Carl. I miss the moments we used to share,” Carol’s voice trembled with emotion.

“I miss us too, Carol. But every time we try to talk, it turns into an argument,” he sighed.

Over time, these unresolved frustrations meant that even minor triggers sparked conflicts. Feeling lost, they decided to seek help by attending a couples’ workshop, where they learned new strategies to mend their bond.
They discovered that in the heat of the moment—when negative emotions ran high—they tended to retreat into their own worlds, each defending against pain. Until they embraced a new way of connecting: being fully present. This meant expressing frustrations in a way that allowed each partner to truly understand, and listening so deeply that both felt heard.

Approaching conflicts calmly reduces misunderstandings and paves the way for effective problem-solving. Without presence, a relationship risks emotional drain, long-term resentment, and overwhelming stress. Embracing presence, however, reduces stress and nurtures a healthier, more joyful connection.

On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is impossible and 10 is very easy, how challenging is it for you to shift from frustration to calm dialogue?

If you’re ready to take the transformative step that Carl and Carol did, stay tuned to discover more.

Type yes in the DM

02/10/2025

Thank you to everyone who responded to the article about the importance being purpose-driven in love, marriage and life, especially during tough times. As promised, I will share three of the responses I received, anonymously.

R and A are first. They created a vision statement three years into their marriage when she was diagnosed with a serious health challenge. It served as a reminder of their wedding vows to be there for each other "in sickness and in health." Despite the stress of navigating through her illness, they pulled through. She is now in remission, and they have emerged stronger as individuals and as a couple.

This illustrates the journey of many couples who have successfully navigated life's challenges by working together with purpose and determination to overcome stressful situations.

I imagine you have a success story to reflect on, where the both of you overcame a challenge together, making you both stronger individually and as a couple.

Would you be willing to share an appreciation with each other about that success?

02/06/2025

Have you ever noticed how the most fulfilled and successful people in love, marriage, and life have something in common? They live with purpose.

Being purpose-driven means aligning your actions and decisions with your core values, living intentionally, and making meaningful contributions to your relationships and life. When you bring purpose into your marriage and personal growth, everything shifts for the better.

3 Key Qualities of a Purpose-Driven Person in Love, Marriage, and Life:
1. Clarity & Focus – They have a clear vision of their values and what truly matters, helping them stay focused on what’s important.
2. Commitment & Dedication – They invest effort and dedication into their relationships, nurturing deeper connections with their partner.
3. Resilience & Perseverance – When challenges arise, they don’t give up. Instead, they stay strong, using their purpose as a guide to navigate difficulties.

3 Reasons Why Being Purpose-Driven Leads to Success in Love, Marriage, and Life:
1. Alignment with Core Values – Purpose-driven individuals make decisions that align with their deepest values, creating a more fulfilling life.
2. Stronger, More Intentional Relationships – They build trust and consistency by showing up fully and intentionally in their relationships.
3. Personal Fulfillment & Joy – Contributing meaningfully to their relationship and personal growth brings a deep sense of satisfaction.

5 Life-Changing Benefits of Being Purpose-Driven:
1. Enhanced Self-Awareness – Greater clarity about who you are and what truly matters.
2. Increased Motivation – A sense of purpose fuels energy and drives meaningful action.
3. Deeper, More Fulfilling Relationships – Purpose-driven individuals nurture love, trust, and emotional connection.
4. Greater Resilience in Tough Times – Purpose keeps you grounded, even when facing obstacles.
5. A Stronger Sense of Accomplishment – Reaching purpose-driven goals brings pride and fulfillment.

What Might Get in the Way?
Even with the best intentions, frustrations, conflicts, and daily stressors can derail our sense of purpose. Have you ever noticed this in your own life?

What Helps You Stay Purpose-Driven?
What strategies have helped you stay focused on your purpose—especially during tough times in your relationship?

I’d love to hear from you! If you’re comfortable, just DM me and share your thoughts privately. I’m gathering insights from this community to help others stay aligned with their purpose in love and life.

Your story could inspire others!

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Warm regards,

Melva Johnson

02/04/2025

Are You Cultivating Love Within Yourself?

How is the love you are cultivating within showing up in your relationship?

Love doesn’t just happen, it grows. And before it can truly thrive in your relationship, it must first take root within you.

What Does It Mean to Cultivate Love?
Cultivating love is an active process, just like tending to a garden. It’s about nurturing kindness, patience, and self-awareness within yourself so that love has a strong foundation to flourish in your relationship.
It means being intentional about how you think, how you respond, and how you show up—not just for your partner, but for yourself.

Why Is This Important?
1. Love Reflects What’s Inside – The way you love yourself shapes how you give and receive love from others.
2. You Teach Others How to Love You – When you cultivate self-love, you set the standard for how you want to be treated.
3. Resilience in Challenges – A strong inner foundation helps you navigate conflict with grace rather than reactivity.

5 Benefits of Cultivating Love Within Yourself
When you strengthen your inner foundation of love, you naturally become more open, connected, and emotionally secure. Here’s what happens when you cultivate love within:
✔ You radiate confidence and warmth, making it easier for your partner to connect with you.
✔ You respond to conflict with understanding instead of defensiveness.
✔ You create a safe emotional space for deeper intimacy and trust.
✔ You attract and sustain healthy relationships because you embody love, patience, and respect.
✔ You feel more peace and joy, no matter the external circumstances.

Now, let’s reflect:
What Could Get in the Way of Cultivating Love Within?
Are there habits, fears, or past experiences that block you from embracing love fully? What internal patterns might be making it harder to create the love you desire?

What Has Helped You Cultivate and Express Love—Even During Conflict?
Have you found ways to stay loving, even when things get tough? Maybe a mindset shift, a habit, or a practice that keeps you grounded in love?

If you're comfortable sharing, please send me a direct message with what has worked for you. I’d like to add your response anonymously to a list of brief success stories that could support others in their journey.

Success is inspirational!

With love and gratitude,
Melva Johnson

02/03/2025

Cultivating Love: Who Do You Need to "Be"?

Do you ever find yourself wondering, "Who do I need to be to keep love alive in your relationship, especially when things get tough?"

Success in love isn't just about what you do; it's deeply connected to who you are – both in the good times and when challenges arise. Let's be honest, expressing our best selves when frustrated or in conflict can be a real challenge!

What if there was a way to cultivate a mindset and habits that consistently foster closeness, connection, and trust, even during the most difficult times?

Here's a thought-provoking exercise for you and your partner:
• Reflect: What habits do you currently have that support you in working with your partner as a team player to navigate challenges?
• Identify: What is one trait you could embody more fully today to truly enjoy the love you share? (e.g., patience, empathy, forgiveness)
• Consider: What might potentially get in the way of embodying this trait?

Feel free to share your reflections by clicking on the reply button.

Warmly,
Melva Johnson
Cofounder of the Johnson Relationship Institute for Couples

10/31/2024

Are you ready to keep the love alive in your marriage or love relationship? If the answer is yes, DM me with the word, ""Keep" for more information

08/03/2024

Striving for a happy marriage?

It's not always sunshine and rainbows, and that's okay.

Here are 12 little habits that happily married couples incorporate into their daily lives:
https://hackspirit.com/little-things-happily-married-couples-do-every-day/

We all strive for a happy marriage. But how happy is your marriage realistically, when you stop forcing a smile and actually think about it? I get it. It’s not […] More

08/02/2024

Facing relationship challenges and unsure whether to opt for individual or couples therapy?

Individual therapy focuses on delving into the unconscious to uncover hidden aspects of oneself while couples therapy centers on resolving conflicts and enhancing communication between partners.

Let's explore the differences between these two formats to help you decide:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/the-psychology-of-relationships-and-emotional-intelligence/202311/individual-or-couples

Explore the differences between these two formats and discover which one suits you best.

07/31/2024

Navigating the holiday season can be challenging for many couples, and January has earned the title of 'divorce month.'

The pressures of the festive season, including exposure to family and in-laws, contribute to the decision to end marriages.

Financial stress, intensified by the cost of living and holiday obligations, further strains relationships.

How can you protect your marriage?

Planning, communication, and flexibility are key to a tension-free festive season.

https://nypost.com/2023/10/31/lifestyle/what-is-divorce-month-and-how-can-you-avoid-it/

January has long been dubbed ‘divorce month’ by professionals in the field, reflecting the sheer increase in divorce applications and proceedings.

07/28/2024

Improve your relationship communication with these 3 little-known tips! 💑?

1️⃣ Reflect on your role in conflicts. Match your mindset and skill set to relationship goals.

2️⃣ Focus on realistic changes, not the other person. Avoid frustration and disappointment.

3️⃣ Take action on what can be changed. Empower yourself by setting goals and objectives for a successful relationship.

Ready for more relationship tips? Join our FREE Facebook Group!

https://johnsonrelationshipinstituteforcouples.com/three-little-known-tips-for-couples-communication/

3 Little Known Tips for Couples Communication / Ask Melva / By Jesse and Melva Johnson 3 Little Known Tips for Couples Communication Only if you want to improve your communication… Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash Most of the time, the “honeymoon phase” for most couples would last forev...