Joe Kort

04/17/2026

Boys are often taught to disconnect from vulnerability long before they become men, and that has lasting consequences. When boys are told not to feel, not to cry, and not to seek comfort through touch, they often grow into men who struggle with emotional language, closeness, and healthy connection. The need for touch does not disappear, but in a culture that restricts nons*xual affection between men, that hunger for closeness can become s*xualized because it is one of the only forms of touch they feel permitted to have.

Link to the full YouTube video in bio.

04/17/2026

New YouTube Video: Why Some Gay Men Use Hookups as Pseudo Intimacy

2 likes. "Why Some Gay Men Use Hookups as Pseudo Intimacy"

04/16/2026

Many gay and bi men don’t grow up thinking they’re gay or bi.

They grow up thinking they’re straight, because that’s the only identity we teach children to recognize.

So when they feel attraction to men, they don’t see it as identity. They see it as curiosity, a phase, or something purely s*xual. They might even label it as a kink or fe**sh, separating it from who they are.

Over time, that disconnect becomes harder to maintain. What was once dismissed starts to make more sense, and many begin to realize that what they felt all along wasn’t just behavior. It was identity.

This is why understanding s*xuality as part of who someone is, not something to change or suppress, is so important.

Full video linked in bio.

04/16/2026

Most relationship problems don’t actually start in the relationship. They start much earlier, in what you learned about love growing up.

If you had to hide parts of yourself, earn approval, or stay quiet to keep the peace, those patterns don’t just disappear. They follow you into adulthood and show up in how you date, attach, and communicate.

You might call it bad luck, but often it’s something more familiar. You’re repeating what once helped you feel safe.

The problem is, what protected you then can interfere with real connection now. Healthy relationships require honesty, accountability, and the ability to show up as your full self.

That’s not something you find in the right partner. It’s something you build within yourself.

04/14/2026

Ghosting doesn’t just happen in dating… it happens in therapy too.

But avoiding the goodbye can reinforce the very patterns therapy is meant to help you break.

Saying “this isn’t working for me” or “I’m ready to move on” builds something powerful: your voice, your agency, and your ability to show up in relationships.

A healthy ending is part of the healing.

Read the full article in the link in my bio.

04/10/2026

People often ask why gay couples seem more comfortable talking about s*x and navigating open relationships.

It’s not that they’re “better” at relationships. It’s that many have been forced to examine and understand their s*xuality just to come out. That process creates more openness, honesty, and communication around desire.

In this clip, I talk with psychoanalyst and s*x therapist Juliane Maxwald about what heteros*xual couples can learn from gay relationships, including the idea that s*x and love don’t always have to line up perfectly, and that’s okay.

Watch the full Smart S*x Smart Love conversation with Juliane Maxwald, linked in my bio.

04/09/2026

When your erotic desires do not match your partner’s, silence becomes the real problem.

So many couples enter committed relationships without ever fully discussing their s*xual interests, fantasies, and expectations. Then years later, after building a life together, they discover they are erotically mismatched. The issue is not desire itself. The issue is that it was never discussed.

Our culture teaches us to feel shame about wanting more, something different, or something new. But s*xual desires evolve. Fantasies emerge. Interests shift. That does not automatically mean the relationship is broken. It means it is time for honest negotiation.

I have seen couples move from disgust to discussion. From secrecy to transparency. From fear to curiosity. When you can talk openly about what turns you on, you create the possibility of finding common ground.

The question is not “Should I suppress this?” The question is “Can we talk about this?”

Read the full article here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-the-erotic-code/202006/when-your-erotic-desires-dont-match-up-with-a-partner

04/08/2026

Excited to be featured in Dan Savage’s latest Savage Love newsletter.

Dan has been shaping conversations around s*x and relationships for decades, so it’s always meaningful to be part of that dialogue.

I shared my perspective on trauma, bis*xuality, infidelity, and what healing can actually look like.

If you’d like to read this article, click the link in my bio.

04/03/2026

When a woman has one non-heteros*xual thought, she’s fe**shized. When a man has one, he’s stigmatized.

Both are problematic.

S*xual behavior does not automatically define s*xual orientation. Not everything is about attraction. Sometimes it’s about context, curiosity, or the experience itself. Reducing people to labels ignores the nuance of how s*xuality actually works.

Link to full video on YouTube in my bio.

03/31/2026

I used to only be attracted to older men. Then one day, that shifted and I found myself attracted to younger men.

In this conversation with Jessica Levith, we talk about how s*xual and erotic interests can evolve over time and why these changes are often misunderstood. Instead of seeing them as something wrong or out of control, we explore how context, life experiences, and personal growth shape what we’re drawn to.

S*xuality isn’t static. It evolves.

Watch the full episode of Smart S*x Smart Love. Link in bio.

03/31/2026

“Men don’t cry.”

That message has shaped generations of boys into men who feel deeply but struggle to express it. Suppressing emotions does not make someone strong. It often creates distance in relationships and increases stress, anxiety, and disconnection.

Emotional regulation is a skill. It can be learned at any age. Men deserve to express their feelings without their masculinity being questioned.

What would change if we taught boys how to name their emotions instead of hide them?
https://www.crsh.com/men-dont-cry-why-not/