Danielle Greenspan, LMFT, LPCC

05/05/2023

Happy May the 4th!
One of my favorite things about being a therapist in private practice is getting to show up everyday as myself. My nerdy, silly, Star Wars obsessed self. I have Star Wars represented in my office and also on my website. I’ve even had clients tell me what caught their eye when looking at my website was a Star Wars themed image (a storm trooper family on my Family Therapy page).

03/23/2023

I started offering “walk and talk” therapy at the beginning of the pandemic as a way to safely see clients in person. Being able to be outside, socially distanced and while wearing masks allowed me to put my clients’ safety and my safety first while still benefiting from meeting in person. I find that it is easier for some people to talk and be vulnerable while waking because there is no expectation to make eye contact (this is never an expectation for me) or keep the conversation flowing.

02/18/2023

Let’s talk about jealousy. Jealousy has been a theme that has come up a lot recently with my clients. What comes to mind when you think about jealousy? Often, people think of jealousy as a negative emotion or one that they have 100% control over. As a result, feelings of guilt and shame also often come with jealousy. Jealousy isn’t different from any other human emotion. It is not good or bad or right or wrong, it just is. When you approach jealousy with radical acceptance and without judgement, the guilt and shame will naturally fall away. There is nothing unhealthy about experiencing jealousy as an emotion. What can become unhealthy is how jealousy is expressed or suppressed. Explore for yourself what jealousy feels like to you and where it is coming from. Be mindful and experience the emotion rather than pushing it away or holding onto it.

11/16/2022

After an intensive 12 month training program with the incomparable , I am officially certified in Kink Informed Treatment by *xualhealthalliance ! *xualhealthalliance

08/31/2021

“Focus on forming secure attachments with them by getting to know them– NOT by letting strangers (therapists) force-feed them, undress them and force them on a toilet, expose them to loud noises trying to make them more tolerant, or force them to use spoken words to get their needs met.

Your child’s future health and happiness depend on not being traumatized or developmentally manipulated in their most formative years. Don’t focus on what you think they OUGHT to be. Love on who they are.”

As soon as a parent is aware that their child is autistic, they often ask, “What therapies does my child need?” Terra Vance walks readers through what to prioritize.

04/27/2021

"Trust trans people."

Now that the surgery is over I can share this little tidbit. Dysphoria is like nothing many people have ever experienced. And transness isn’t what you think.

When I began the process of prepping for my surgery and asking advice, a number of well meaning trans women warned me about an inevitable ask from someone in the chain of my doctors: I would be asked to stop my HRT at least two weeks before surgery and maybe up to a month before. (HRT for those who don’t know, is our estrogen and any necessary anti-androgen medicines to block testosterone.)

Why?

There is a hypothetical risk for those taking oral estrogen or problems with clotting during the surgery. So, there is a hypothetical where taking estrogen could end in your death on an operating table. Scary stuff.

Best I can tell there’s no evidence of that actually happening to anyone ever, just a theoretical possibility.

The first time I heard that, I wanted to cry. I was beside myself. My stomach sank. I had full blown. PTSD style attacks and flashbacks. I was terrified and shaken to my core by the idea of stopping HRT, even just for a month.

I made up my mind that I was going to stockpile my HRT. it wasn’t uncommon for me to have a little extra left over because of scheduling of appointments and the like. I just needed enough to last a month. And I was going to lie through my teeth if I needed to.

My dysphoria was so deep, so intense, and so truly nightmarish that I would rather have died on an operating table than live like that again for a month, a week, or even a day.

I made that calculation. I was OK with the math.

Fortunately, nobody asked me to stop my HRT. My estrogen was continued as prescribed in the hospital and I’ve never been better. But I was prepared to DIE. And that cannot be overstated.

So many people, including people close to me, have questioned my motives in transition: was it for s*xual gratification? A kink? A passing fancy? A fad? Was I doing it for fashion? Was I just a gay man?

No. I was a woman in pain. And people, even medical professionals, couldn’t find it in themselves to trust me when I said so. They needed to make it make sense for them before they could deem me worthy of their effort or change.

When my surgery was delayed 10 days before my scheduled date in March, it happened again. I was beside myself. I kept trying to center myself and find calm, only to be ripped out of my center and into a storm of suicidal ideation. My surgery was bumped because it wasn’t as important to one of my surgeons. The last month of my surgery preparations I spent clinging to a shred of hope that that surgeon’s critical eye would not fall on, and deem me unworthy, for a 4th time. I began to have trauma reactions anytime that surgeon’s team called me.

And I hope by being honest and real about this, you’ll see that the same forces that afflicted me afflict many and maybe most trans people. We transition to be allowed, for once, to exist. We want to exist. And HRT and surgery are the cost so many of us pay for existing.

These treatments aren’t optional. Theyre not “cosmetic.” They’re essential. They’re life saving. They’re life giving.

Trust trans people.

04/15/2021

This is the best description of depression I have ever read. Go read the book
The Monster Under the Bed: S*x, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren't Having
by JoEllen Notte

04/01/2021

Learning new vocabulary and identities can be difficult, but many of these words actually apply to you! So for this Trans Day of Visibility, take a little time to acquaint yourself with these terms so that you can be the best, most supportive ally possible.

As we learn more about each other, sometimes it's helpful for us to create new vocabulary to describe ourselves and find other folks who are like us in s*xuality, romance, gender, or body.

We're so proud of the community work that went into creating this poster.

You can download all the files for printing in your classroom or office here: https://wannalearnmore.com/poster

If you want to be part of the wonderful community that created this graphic, come visit us You Might Wanna Learn More About Trans People.

The full text of the poster is below:

--- Full Text ---

Image description and full text transcript of the infographic poster:

❄️Image description: A cartoon human is centered on a poster. The human has a blue cartoon brain in their head, red/yellow flames in their chest, a pink heart in their chest, a green star where their legs meet their torso, and an orange aura surrounding them. There is a thought bubble over the person’s head with a question mark inside. The blue brain points to a blue section titled “Gender Identity”. The green star points to a green section titled “Assigned Gender/S*x At Birth”. The orange aura points to an orange section titled “Gender Expression”. The red/yellow flames points to a yellow section titled “S*xual Orientation”. The pink heart points to a pink section titles “Romantic Orientation”. There is a light purple box with a dark border at the bottom with extra text and a QR Code. Each section title includes a small image of a cartoon human with exclamation points over their head, and the light purple box with extra text and a QR code has a larger version of the same cartoon human with exclamation points on top of the box. The rest of this description is a transcript of the text on the poster.

❄️Gender Identity: A person’s sense of self in relation to gender

Transgender: Person is not the gender assigned at birth

Cisgender: Person is the gender assigned at birth

Metagender: person identifies as neither cisgender nor transgender

Non-Binary: Person is neither exclusively a man nor exclusively a woman. Non-binary people may or may not identify as transgender

Agender: Person does not experience a gender

Gender Fluid: Identity that varies over time (man, woman, or any other identity)

❄️Assigned Gender/S*x At Birth: The gender/s*x assigned at birth based on a person’s ge****ls.

Assigned Male At Birth (AMAB)/Assigned Female At Birth (AFAB): Generally, this assignment is made based on a visual assessment of the baby’s genitalia

Inters*x: A naturally occurring variation of s*x characteristics, reproductive organs, and/or chromosomes that do not fit the typical definition of male or female (although many inters*x people are assigned male or female at birth).

Note: Assigned gender/s*x at birth is different than s*x, which is based on many variable factors

❄️Gender Expression: How a person presents themself (such as style, actions, demeanor, and more)

Feminine: Expresses qualities and characteristics typically associated with femininity

Masculine: Expresses qualities and characteristics typically associated with masculinity

Androgynous: Expresses both typically feminine and typically masculine qualities ambiguously, or expresses typically neither

Note: Gender expression may change over time or in different situations

❄️ S*xual Orientation: Who a person is s*xually attracted to

Heteros*xual: S*xual attraction to people of a different gender than your own

Homos*xual: S*xual attraction to people of a similar gender to your own

Bis*xual: S*xual attraction to people of more than one gender
Pans*xual: S*xual attraction regardless of gender

As*xual: Experiences little to no s*xual attraction

Demis*xual: Experiences little to no s*xual attraction until a close bond is formed

❄️ Romantic Orientation: Who a person is romantically attracted to

Heteroromantic: Romantic attraction to people of a different gender than your own

Homoromantic: Romantic attraction to people of a similar gender to your own

Biromantic: Romantic attraction to people of more than one gender

Panromantic: Romantic attraction regardless of gender

Aromantic: Experiences little to no romantic attraction

Demiromantic: Experiences little to no romantic attraction until a close bond is formed

❄️ Light Purple Box with dark border:
These definitions are commonly accepted but not absolute.
Some of these terms have some overlap. That’s okay! Just describe yourself with whatever terms you’re comfortable with, and respect the terms other people use for themselves.
There are so many more identities, orientations, expressions, and definitions that aren’t shown here. Ask your teacher for more resources or visit the link in the QR Code if you have questions!
WannaLearnMore.com

01/10/2021

I could not be happier to receive my first dose of the Moderna COVID-19 vaccine. I’d never been so excited before! Thank you to all of the healthcare workers, doctors, researchers, nurses, medical assistants and epidemiologists for making this possible.

12/27/2020

11/12/2020

Now offering “walk and talk” therapy to my existing clients! (Masks and social distancing required.)

10/12/2020

It’s and it’s been about 13 years since I came out the first time. At 17 I heard a lot of, “It’s a phase”, “You just haven’t met the right boy yet” and “How do you know if you’ve never had a boyfriend?” I felt so much shame and internalized homophobia when I was coming out. I’ve come out over and over since then and it’s gotten much easier for me especially now that I have a wonderful family that I wouldn’t have if I never came out. This day makes me think of those who are not safe to come out, who would experience shame, stigma and even fear for their lives if they were to come out. I hope that one day no one will need to come out and everyone will feel safe being who they are. Until then, go ahead, if you need a safe person to come out to, I’m listening.

08/06/2020

I miss my tiny, cozy, peaceful, quirky office. I miss seeing clients face to face. I miss not having to say: “You’re frozen.” “I’m sorry. The audio cut out. Can you please repeat that?” I miss sitting on the floor with children playing with legos, painting, making giant messes with glitter and play doh. I miss getting hugs from my little kid clients. I miss the human connection that sometimes gets lost in translation in telehealth. I have to remember that pain and stress are inevitable parts of life and even though I miss so many things about providing services in person, it is not worth putting myself, my clients, my family and their families at risk. We can ride this wave together and it will pass.

08/02/2020

This voice is one that NEEDS to be heard. I’ve cancelled my membership and I’ll subscribe to Psychology Today again only if/when they become a platform to lift up black voices.

06/30/2020

“The idea is to get your child to consider alternative perspectives and intentions, and to encourage them to empathize with different characters by thinking about the choices characters make and could have made. It also encourages them to reflect on what they would want to do in a given situation, while also considering moral and ethical issues, weighing pros and cons, and opening their minds to different elements that the characters and the content presents.”

The concept of Reading Curiously expands on story time to promote the development of empathy, build insight, cultivate perspective-taking…

06/02/2020

05/31/2020

I love using bibliotherapy when working with kids, especially right now using video teletherapy. It’s a great way to connect and build empathy and coping skills. Now more than ever it’s so important to introduce your children to diverse faces and experiences. I’m adding several of these books to my collection to share with my clients and my own children.

“Research has shown that the “colorblind” approach—teaching children that it is racist to acknowledge racial and ethnic differences—is doing no one any favors, and in fact can reinforce racist attitudes and assumptions, and especially reify systemic racism.” - Stacy Whitman
(see comments for the link to the blog post where I saw this quote)

What books are you and your kids looking forward to reading in the year ahead?