Robyn Gray, LMFT & RYT

08/24/2023

Practice Update! 📣

Looking forward to returning from my maternity leave this October. Accepting new and returning clients that are interested in an integrated somatic approach to healing. Telehealth and in-person daytime sessions available.

I specialize in CPTSD, anxiety and grief using an integrative approach that includes mindfulness, somatic modalities, parts work (IFS) and brainspotting.

To inquire, please email me at: robyngraycounseling@gmail.com

02/23/2023

Fun little interview on running a private practice business. Linked here:

I work in private practice in Sacramento, CA, serving individuals from a somatic and integrative approach who are suffering from trauma, anxiety, depression, grief, and interpersonal relational issues.

03/08/2022

Free Self-Care Tip: Get into your comfiest clothes.

How often do you find yourself suffering physically to look good in your clothing? Hello high heels, tight jeans, work attire, etc. Don't get me wrong, I do love some good fashion, but sometimes it comes with some physical suffering.

As part of a self-care routine, when you can, be intentional in putting on super comfy clothing and socks or slippers. Let your skin enjoy the soft fabric and your body enjoy the comfortable fit. Take a moment to appreciate your attire and the way it feels and the way you feel wearing it.

03/01/2022

“Hold space for your feelings”, “sit with it” or “you have to feel it to heal it” are common phrases in the psychology world, especially more recently with the rise of the mental health crisis due to the pandemic.

In order to move forward in life with a sense of integration, we must learn tools to help us process even the most difficult of emotions.

But how do we do this when it's counter-intuitive?

Check out the blog post linked below to learn specific exercises to help sit through even the most difficult of emotions without feeling overwhelmed.

“Hold space for your feelings”, “sit with it” or “you have to feel it to heal it” are common phrases in the psychology world yet they aren’t necessarily simple (or easy) things to implement, especially with our most difficult feelings.

02/08/2022

Free Self-Care Tip: Put our phone on "do not disturb."

If only for an hour, take a break from receiving notifications on your phone.

People are so accessible these days and it's not natural to our nervous system. It can leave us in a state of vigilance that is not necessary and impacts our wellbeing.

Answer phone calls, texts and emails at your own pace and on your time frame. Just because you received something does not mean you have to answer immediately. People can wait. This is a boundary that you have a right to.

02/01/2022

We all have one, the infamous Inner Critic. Many of us have been taught that the way to overcome the critic is to ignore it or talk back to it, both with the intention of getting rid of it all together and banish it from our life. I hate to break it to you, but although these approaches might alleviate the critic in the moment, it’s probably making it worse in the long run.

Learn what I found that actually works to help tame your inner-critic so that it can work for you instead of against you. Link below for the blog post!

We all have one, the infamous Inner Critic. I have learned that by pushing it away we simply make it stronger and sometimes even end up in a mental war between the inner critic thoughts and the part of us trying to convince ourselves otherwise.

01/31/2022

B.E.T.

Body
Emotions
Thoughts

In order to process deep emotional wounds, one needs to be able to really sit in the gunk of their pain, but not in a way that is overwhelming to their system.

So how does one do this, especially when this pain can be viscerally and physically painful? How can we learn to walk into our pain in order to process and heal without feeling overwhelmed?

We need to start by moving into the pain with a sense of Self, which starts with the physical body, and then expands out into our emotions and then our thoughts.

This might be the opposite of what you're used to and perhaps even counter intuitive, so give yourself some grace when applying this. After all, it's intuitive to move away from any kind of pain and it's not uncommon to be disconnected from one's body and caught up in in the mind. It takes practice to orient to your body first and then expand from there.

Here are a few tips to help prevent overwhelm while you learn to orient to your body, process challenging emotions and thoughts:

1. Name it in your body. Take a breath and scan your body. Notice where you feel any tension, constricting, pain, activation, neutral, settled, etc.

2. Notice how you feel emotionally. If this feeling were in your body, where do you feel it? Does it have a shape to it? A size? Color? Texture? Density? Temperature? Sound? Take a few breaths visualizing the emotion. If it's really activated and outside your window of tolerance, imagine the shape as at a distance from you that is tolerable (e.g. outside of the room, a different planet, etc.)

3. Name any thoughts you notice about how you feel. Name any thoughts you notice about the situation that is connected to the activation you feel. Name any beliefs you notice about yourself, others and/or the situation.

Take a few breaths and just notice what, if anything, feel different. Repeat these steps as often as needed for the emotions to feel processed.

Remember, healing is not linear. You might only need this once to a few times or you might need to do this practice with a certain experience over and over again for years. So please be patient, compassionate and gentle with yourself.

01/18/2022

Loneliness is a human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space. The best you can do is know yourself; know what you want. - Janet Fitch

Read more on the blog linked below - and the advice provided in the blog post is probably not what you'd expect!

Feeling lonely? Loneliness is a human condition that everyone will experience at some point in their life. And, there are ways to help yourself when feeling lonely. Here are 6 things to do right now to help when you are feeling lonely.

01/16/2022

The key(s) to a successful meditation practice:

• Make your meditations work for you. Do not force a certain type of practice on yourself if it doesn’t resonate or if makes you feel more anxious and stressed out - you won’t do it or if you do, it’ll feel like torture and eventually you’ll stop doing it. There are thousands of meditations out there from guided, experiential, movement, imagery, art, silent, focused, breath work, mantra, loving-kindness, yoga, yoga nidra and so much more.

• Be flexible with the ‘time’ you meditate - don’t force it if it’s not working for you at a specific time of day or a specific length of practice. For example, if you think you need to meditate first thing in the morning to be successful, but you’re not naturally a morning person, you might start to resent the practice and even become anxious and stressed starting the night before due to having to wake up early. If you have an expectation to meditate for 30 minutes, you’ve added even more stress to yourself forcing a morning practice. It’s not worth it. Don’t put expectations on yourself that cause stress for your meditation practice - that’s actually the opposite of the intention and point of meditation.

• Be reasonable with your expectations about what meditation is supposed to do for you. If you think your mind will be silent or completely quiet and that means that you are a successful meditator, you are going to be very disappointed. You can learn techniques to help quiet your mind here, but your mind will produce thoughts and you will get distracted from time to time so it’s important to accept that. When we accept this human reaction, we learn how to respond vs. react to our internal world.

• Not all meditations are for everyone AND there is a meditation for everyone. And remember, the best meditation for you is the one that you’ll actually do ✨

Curious to learn more about meditation and what all the hype about it really is?

✨Read my blog post on why meditation is useful, how it effects the brain and nervous system. https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/blog/what-is-the-point-of-meditation

✨Shop my trauma-informed guided meditations for better sleep, support with chronic pain, and inner child healing. https://www.robyngraycounseling.com/shop

01/09/2022

Free Self-Care Tip: Be Selfish. Remind yourself that it's OK to prioritize yourself and your needs.

In fact, this is part of being emotionally mature and having secure boundaries with yourself and others.

Try it out, even if it's uncomfortable. Start by first asking yourself what you want and need in different situations. Even if you don't necessarily act on this awareness, even asking yourself what you need is huge and will have a positive effect over your mental health.