07/29/2021
Keeping my heart open whatever the cost.
Backbends come in many forms, and they are my greatest obstacle and my greatest teacher in my yoga practice. They can cause intense discomfort, but at the same time they can make me feel more alert, more present, than anything else I practice.
There is no doubt that backbends have been good for my body. A flexible mobile spine is essential for physical health. But I probably practice more backbends, and practice them deeper than what is necessary or even optimal for my body.
Backbends have been more important for my mental health. They tap into an anxiety that resides deep inside. I usually take my time coming into these poses feeling the whole front side of my body stretching, the inside of my body lifting, and the backside of my body bending. Once in the pose, my breath, something that is supposed to be so natural, so automatic, often feels trapped. Learning to breathe deeply into these blockages helps to soften past traumas as well as preparing me for whatever the future has to offer. Staying in these poses, in places of discomfort, reminds me that everything is temporary, and eventually, everything is going to be ok.