Soothing Connections Counseling

08/26/2025

What wonderful reminders!

In relationships, mistakes are part of being human. From an Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) lens, a mistake isn’t the end of the story—it’s an invitation.

✨ An invitation to slow down.
✨ An invitation to repair.
✨ An invitation to show your partner that the bond matters more than being “perfect.”

When we view mistakes through the lens of attachment, they become opportunities to strengthen trust. Repair doesn’t erase the mistake—it builds a deeper sense of safety, showing we can find our way back to each other. 💙

You don’t have to get it right all the time. You just need to show up and reach for repair.

08/20/2025

Check out these ways to connect with your kids this school year.
👉 Read the full blog:
https://www.soothingconnections.com/.../back-to-school...

08/20/2025

Back-to-School isn’t just about supplies and schedules… it’s about connection.

Whether you’re walking your kindergartner into their first classroom or helping a high schooler balance independence and support, your relationship is the foundation.

Check out these age-specific ways to connect with your kids this school year, rooted in attachment science and real-life strategies you can use right here in St. Charles.

👉 Read the full blog:
https://www.soothingconnections.com/emotionally-focused-therapy-for-couples-and-individuals/back-to-school-connection-simple-ways-to-strengthen-attachment-with-your-kids

Discover age-based attachment strategies to connect with your kids this back-to-school season. St. Charles parenting tips for preschool, tween & teen years.

08/19/2025

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💙 Sometimes just having the right resource in your pocket makes all the difference.



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Sara Schramer, MA LCPC at Soothing Connections Counseling

08/18/2025

Safe and secure spaces is what we all need and what we all benefit from creating and BEING.
Whether it's with your child, your niece or nephew, your partner, your friend, your student, your coworker, ...
By being the safety and security that nervous systems need, we transform the world, one attachment bond at a time.

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“As the child interacts with a safe and nurturing environment, the brain develops optimally, and this leads to a healthy sense of self and secure attachment.” (Gabor Maté)

Children have physical as well as emotional needs that are important for development. Dr. Gabor Mate explains that children have these four essential needs:

1. Strong attachment.
Secure attachment relationship with the adult caregivers. Meaning the drive to be close to somebody, to be taken care of or to take care of the other.

2. Rest.
It means that the child doesn’t have to work to make the relationship work and doesn’t have to meet the parent’s emotional needs.

3. Freedom and the capacity to experience all their emotions, whether it’s rage, anger, grief.

4. Free spontaneous play.
It means creative imaginative play where nothing is required. There’s no winning, there’s no losing. There’s no purpose to the play other than interaction.

08/14/2025

"We can't hear each other unless we feel safe in our bodies."
(Jan Winthall, Polyvagal Institute)

Safety isn’t a bonus in relationships, it’s the gateway to connection.

When our nervous system feels under threat, even small conversations can feel overwhelming. It’s not that we don’t care or aren’t listening… it’s that our body is focused on survival, not connection.

Safety (both physical and emotional) isn’t a luxury in relationships, it’s the foundation.

Notice what helps your body feel grounded:
• A calm tone of voice
• Gentle eye contact
• Pausing to breathe together
• Being in a space that feels warm and non-judgmental

When safety comes first, connection follows.

Now Enrolling!
Felt Sense Polyvagal Model Training - Step One
Starts live-online September 25, 2025 with Jan Winhall, MSW, POT

In treating trauma and addiction, therapists and clinicians are realizing the importance of helping their clients connect with the embodied wisdom. Many trainings emphasize the importance of this connection, but they don’t provide specifics on instructing clients to lean into their bodies. Through this course, students will engage in their own felt sense experiencing, and learn how to share that experience and process with their clients.
This course is Step One in the Felt Sense Polyvagal Model Training Sequence; continuation in the sequence is valuable but not required to learn the basic principles of this paradigm-shifting model.
21 CEs are available!

Join us!
https://learning.polyvagal.org/courses/2025-felt-sense-polyvagal-model-a-certificate-for-treating-trauma-and-addiction

08/14/2025

When Life Finds Its Beat: How Rhythms & Routines Shape Emotional Connection

Life pulses with rhythm, from the morning coffee ritual to the cozy bedtime unwind, from shared laughter across the dinner table to the silence right before sleep.
In the newest Soothing Connections Counseling blog post, we explore how these simple daily routines aren’t just habits, they’re the heartbeat of our emotional lives.

🧠 Why rhythms matter:

>They anchor us, giving structure and stability in a busy world.

>They tune us in to our internal emotional states and to each other.

>They secure connection, especially for couples, by weaving subtle daily signals of care and presence.

💞 For couples:

A shared morning ritual like a good morning kiss or a walk helps set a relational tone for the day.

Consistent check-ins (“How’s your day going?”) build intimacy, even in busy lives.

🌿 For individuals:

Personal routines like stretching, journaling, or an evening wind down foster emotional balance and resilience.

These mini-rituals function like "emotional home bases," helping us feel grounded and whole.

🌈 Highlights include:

🌅 Why anchoring simple routines matters more than grand gestures.

🔁 How predictable rhythms soothe stress and anxiety.

❤️ Tips for creating small, meaningful habits that strengthen connection.

💡 A step-by-step guide to weaving routines into your day, (without pressure or perfection).

Want to feel more connected to yourself and those you love?
Tap into the quiet power of rhythm.
Discover how small daily beats can harmonize your emotional life.

🔗 Read the full post and begin your journey:
https://www.soothingconnections.com/emotionally-focused-therapy-for-couples-and-individuals/when-life-finds-its-beat-how-rhythms-and-routines-shape-emotional-connection

Let’s talk:
💬 What rhythm or routine has quietly supported you through tough days or seasons? Share below!

Follow Soothing Connections Counseling for more insights on building emotionally healthy relationships, one small beat at a time. 💖

Discover how personal and relational rhythms can strengthen emotional connection. St. Charles IL therapist shares EFT-based insights to create stability, safety, and deeper relationships.

08/12/2025

✨ Pause here. Read this again. ✨

This drop of wisdom from one of my favorite EFT'ers underlines an important piece to slow down, pause, and reflect on...

So often, our instinct is to fix, reassure, or distract someone from their hurt. It makes sense to have that strategy. Pain is uncomfortable and swimming around in someone's pain with them can make us squirm.

To truly connect with someone, it starts with seeing their pain, not steering them away from it.

Sometimes, the most healing thing we can say is:
“I see you. I hear you. I’m with you.”

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"If you are trying to talk someone out of their pain, you aren't seeing their pain."
-Dr. Ryan Rana

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Pain eases when it is witnessed and validated.

08/11/2025

🌟 Brave isn’t always loud.
Sometimes it’s a quiet, shaky voice saying, “I think I need help.”

Every time a new client reaches out, I’m reminded of how much courage it takes to say, “I can’t do this alone right now.”
I think of those folks as brave, taking the first step towards something new and different.
It’s bravery.
It’s strength.

If you’ve been holding back, waiting for the “right” moment to reach out, maybe today is the day.
Your story matters. Your feelings matter. You matter.

💬 "There is nothing weak about asking for help." – 988 Su***de & Crisis Lifeline

If you’ve been carrying more than you can hold, reaching out is strength, not weakness.

📍 Serving St. Charles, Geneva & surrounding areas
🔗 Website: www.soothingconnections.com

The way you speak to yourself matters. Let it be with the same kindness you offer to those you care about. 💙

08/09/2025

Rhythm & Reconnection: A 4-Part Reset

Feeling off your rhythm lately? You’re not alone.
Sometimes we need a gentle nudge back into routines that ground us and practices that reconnect us.

Swipe through this 4-part mini-series designed to help you:
✨ Realign with your daily rhythm
💛 Reconnect with your emotional needs
🌀 Reset your nervous system with small, meaningful steps

Here’s what you’ll find inside:
1️⃣ Rhythm & Routine Reminders – Compassionate ways to return to your center
2️⃣ Strong Foundations – Daily anchors that support emotional wellbeing
3️⃣ Check In With Yourself – A simple prompt for tuning into your feelings
4️⃣ Self-Care Sunday Plan – A soft reset to prepare for the week ahead

No pressure. Just presence.
Take what you need, start where you are. 💫

And if ever you need help or want to dig deeper into these emotions and practices, reach out to connect with Sara Schramer, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor at Soothing Connections Counseling in St. Charles, IL at: connect@soothingconnections.com

08/08/2025

Plan Ahead:

How To Plan A Self-Care Sunday
Need a reset?
Your nervous system might be craving rhythm, rest, and intention.

Self-Care Sunday isn’t about doing it all—it’s about choosing what nurtures you.
Use this as a gentle framework to support your body and heart:
🗓️ Block out 2 hours just for you
🌿 Choose one calming activity
📵 Unplug from social media
🪞 Reflect on what you need for the week ahead

Let your Sunday become a rhythm of reconnection.
You deserve it.

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Be flexible with the time frames. Start wherever you are - that may be just 10-30 minutes and that is a wonderful place to start! The key is to START!