Rivers and Roads Psychotherapy, LLC

10/27/2025

The root of control is fear.

And when we're trying to control it's because of the fear that comes with the vulnerability of exposing the parts of ourselves that we don't accept or that are in pain.
It's self-protective.

And we don't accept those parts of ourselves because somewhere along the way we were taught not to; that part wasn't accepted by someone else and we learned that part of ourselves needed to be hidden.
We were shamed out of our humanity.

And that "someone" could just be the larger narrative society is always telling women about how we need to be thin and "nice."

Or it could be a parent who mocked or shamed or ignored you for crying.

Or it could be that you didn't get any love, validation or attention unless you were getting straight As and being the BEST at everything.

Somewhere along the way we learned to reject parts of ourselves; important, human, normal, completely lovable parts of ourselves.

We learned to reject curiosity, anger, sadness, femininity, masculinity, s*xuality, creativity, tenderness, being loud, being vocal, being "weird," - there's an endless list of things we were shamed out of expressing.

But if you want to release your need to control, you have to learn how to safely get in touch with the parts of yourself that you're trying to hide.

The EQ School can also send daily texts to your phone - which is great if you're trying to spend less time on social media but still want pointed reminders that help you check in with yourself.
https://hdly.me/theeqschool

10/23/2025

10/09/2025

You are allowed to have a voice.
You’re allowed to share your thoughts, stance, feelings, or preferences on things.
And - spoiler alert - people aren’t always going to like them.

People aren’t going to agree. They’re going to have their own reactions, their own feelings in response to what you’re putting out there.

And that’s okay.

Uncomfortable feelings don’t have to mean that anyone is wrong or bad or doesn’t belong. Uncomfortable feelings are often a great opportunity to dig a little deeper and get to know ourselves better.

One thing I’m working on is not offering a consolation option when I can see that someone doesn’t like my thought or opinion. I may have been known to share a limit, notice the other doesn’t like it and then quickly offer something else instead, to try appease their discomfort. I’m working on not doing that.
It’s okay to not agree on everything.

It’s okay for discomfort to exist. For friction to hang in the air as someone processes a difference between the two of you.
When we allow ourselves to sit with and digest these moments of discomfort, we are allowing ourselves opportunities for growth, deeper connection, and greater emotional resilience.

Discomfort isn’t the enemy.

If you're working on developing your communication skills in your relationships (which can be hard if you didn't have great models), the Relationship Management Workshop begins October 23.
6 weeks, small group, interactive work in a compassionate space filled with likeminded folks who are also doing the work.
Don't miss out - this is the last workshop of 2025! There are just a few spots left.
https://theeqschool.co/relationship-management-workshop

10/09/2025

10/03/2025

This perspective shift is life changing - that it’s first and foremost my job to know myself, love myself, and share myself with my community.

As an adult, I am responsible for me - my choices, how I show up, how I communicate, and for taking the appropriate measures to protect & take care of myself when others don’t see me or aren’t invested in supporting my best interests, or the best interests of our relationship (familial, romantic, friendship, professional).

Many people will not see me.
Many people will be going through their own life challenges and will have moments of not seeing or considering me.
They will not be on the lookout for what is best for me.
And that’s okay — as long as I am!
It’s not personal.

It’s my work to continue to shine brightly, and to stay open to finding the people, spaces, and communities that see and celebrate my light and who are capable of safely connecting, so we can support each other in our growth.
It’s my work to share my needs and limits and connect more deeply with those who are willing & able to align with me at this moment in our lives.

And it’s my job to walk away, allow for space, or simply respect our differences and move on when there isn’t enough alignment for a deeper connection to develop.
Because when I know my worth, I begin to recognize that other people not seeing it isn’t about me. And that it’s really okay.

This is, of course, harder to do if we didn’t feel valued in our early lives by our families and communities. But it’s never too late - our work is in learning how to connect more deeply with ourselves.
Because the more we trust ourselves and lean into our worth, the more attracted and attractive we are to the kinds of people who are in alignment with what we’re looking for.

If you’re working on this, I highly recommend joining the Relational Management Workshop beginning October 23rd. Six weeks of small group work lead by me, to help you start to reconnect with your own worth and showing up in healthier ways in relationship.
This is the last time I’ll be offering any workshops in 2025, and the 4pm cohort is already filling up!
https://theeqschool.co/relationship-management-workshop

09/29/2025

There is so much more to behaviour than most people think. Children don’t try to upset us, there is usually something behind it. They are communicating their need through behaviour. If we look behind the behaviour we can see a child who is doing the best they can

09/27/2025

Mental health support doesn’t treat kids like something is wrong with them. It helps them understand their feelings, build confidence, and learn how to handle tough situations. Every child deserves that kind of support, writes APA's Dr. Lynn Bufka.

Read the full letter to the Washington Post: https://at.apa.org/865

09/23/2025

09/23/2025

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a powerful therapy that helps your brain actually process and heal old memories, not just talk about them. 💡

It’s well-known for treating trauma, but EMDR can also help with anxiety, stress, grief, phobias, and even the “stuck” feelings that keep you from moving forward.

Think of it like spring cleaning for your mind 🧠✨ — we work together to help those tough experiences finally find their place, so they stop getting in the way of your present.

If you’ve tried talk therapy and felt like you were still “stuck,” EMDR might be the missing piece. 💛

📍 Now offering sessions at Rivers & Roads Psychotherapy in St. Clairsville!

09/23/2025

You are not a puzzle to be solved.