02/07/2026
Emotionally immature parents lean on their children because they never built the capacity to regulate themselves.
So instead of soothing their own anxiety, loneliness, or shame, they outsource it to your nervous system.
Over time, the parent's brain wires that dynamic in as relief, and they genuinely believe this IS love. To them, enmeshment feels like closeness, dependence feels like loyalty, and your emotional labor feels like connection.
That's why your independence feels like abandonment to them, it's a role they have come to rely on you for.
But self-abandonment was never supposed to be the price of love. You're not doing anything wrong by refusing to play that role anymore.
Healing means unlearning the belief that your existence is supposed to come second.
Not sure which type of emotionally immature parent you had? Comment EIP and I'll send you my free quiz that breaks down the four types, so you can finally name what you've been living with.
