Doherty Relationship Institute

Doherty Relationship Institute Bill is an internationally recognized professor, researcher, writer, speaker, consultant, and democracy builder. www.dohertyrelationshipinstitute.com

Bill Doherty, Ph.D., and Elizabeth Doherty Thomas, MS, LAMFT run this multi-pronged organization whose mission is to broaden the cultural conversations around marriage, therapy, divorce reform, and other mental and medical health topics.

When a couple sits down and one spouse is “all in” and the other says, “I’m not sure,” what’s your first move?1️⃣ Explor...
10/15/2025

When a couple sits down and one spouse is “all in” and the other says, “I’m not sure,” what’s your first move?

1️⃣ Explore the leaning-out’s reasons.
2️⃣ Encourage them both to commit to therapy.
3️⃣ Something else.

Drop your thoughts below! We want to hear from you.

If you’ve ever thought: “I wish I had a better roadmap for mixed-agenda couples,” — we built this training for you.Over ...
10/08/2025

If you’ve ever thought: “I wish I had a better roadmap for mixed-agenda couples,” — we built this training for you.

Over 1,800 therapists have already trained.

The protocol is clear, practical, and life-changing for your couples.

👉 Learn more & join here:
https://discernmentcounseling.com/

Ever had a couple where one spouse says “I’m not sure I want to stay” — while the other is desperate to save the marriag...
10/01/2025

Ever had a couple where one spouse says “I’m not sure I want to stay” — while the other is desperate to save the marriage?

That’s what we call a mixed-agenda couple.

Most therapists dread these cases — but Discernment Counseling was built for exactly this situation.

Want to feel more confident when the “half-out” spouse shows up? That’s what we train therapists to do.

Spouses, especially those on the brink of divorce, tend to be very other-focused, while therapy can only work when someo...
09/24/2025

Spouses, especially those on the brink of divorce, tend to be very other-focused, while therapy can only work when someone owns their role in why the marriage got to the point of possible divorce. Discernment Counseling builds in a structure that inherently holds personal accountability from both partners for the state of the marriage and works with both spouses to better see their contributions.

www.discernmentcounseling.com/

09/17/2025

Why is Discernment Counseling like 'ER-level' care for relationships? 🚨

This specialized approach addresses the most critical moments in a marriage—when one partner is considering leaving. Learn how Discernment Counseling can offer immediate support and clarity during these life-changing decisions.

The only thing more painful than a divorce is realizing you brought the same problems into a new marriage that is failin...
09/10/2025

The only thing more painful than a divorce is realizing you brought the same problems into a new marriage that is failing.

It’s my goal for couples to understand their personal contributions to this or any marriage, in order that they work on the only thing they can control: themselves.

Carl Whitaker, a famous family therapy pioneer, summed it up well. No one should end a marriage until they’ve figured why they married this person in the first place why they are thinking of leaving them now.

www.discernmentcounseling.com/

Research is limited on couples on the brink of divorce, partly because studies of couples therapy models usually screen ...
08/27/2025

Research is limited on couples on the brink of divorce, partly because studies of couples therapy models usually screen OUT couples who are at acute divorce risk. The result is that our best therapy models haven’t developed specific ways to work with couples on the brink.

www.discernmentcounseling.com

How do you meet the needs of a mixed-agenda couple when one wants to possibly leave and the other wants to save the marr...
08/13/2025

How do you meet the needs of a mixed-agenda couple when one wants to possibly leave and the other wants to save the marriage? The answer is that both have a lot to learn about themselves and their relationship. The only failure in Discernment Counseling is if both people don’t learn something useful for now and their future, whether in this relationship or another one.

Our therapists agree, Discernment Counseling works well in their practices. Their discernment couples report greater self-understanding, and if divorce occurs, it tends to be a softer landing for the couple and their children.

www.discernmentcounseling.com

There have always been experienced couples therapists who come up with their own way of working with couples on the brin...
07/30/2025

There have always been experienced couples therapists who come up with their own way of working with couples on the brink of divorce. Part of our mission is to have a well- known, trusted, predictable experience for couples on the brink of divorce (not idiosyncratic to the one therapist.) Our therapists love offering Discernment Counseling and confidently making referrals to colleagues across the nation.

https://discernmentcounseling.com/

Our reactions, our behaviors and our thoughts stay with us even if we leave our marriage. It’s likely those same realiti...
07/16/2025

Our reactions, our behaviors and our thoughts stay with us even if we leave our marriage. It’s likely those same realities will show up in any relationship.

Discernment Counseling works with both the individual and the couple, allowing both spouses time to reflect on what they bring to the marriage as well as how they are affecting each other.

Read more about the Discernment Counseling process on our website.

Link is in the bio.
https://discernmentcounseling.com/

Nobody decides to get divorced in a purely logical state of mind. Discernment Counseling helps couples therapists suppor...
07/02/2025

Nobody decides to get divorced in a purely logical state of mind. Discernment Counseling helps couples therapists support spouses in the often complex negative marital history and emotional tugs both partners may feel when one partner is thinking of ending the marriage.

www.discernmentcounseling.com

Therapists love the idea of a clinical roadmap. Unfortunately, regular couple therapy roadmaps don’t work when the spous...
06/18/2025

Therapists love the idea of a clinical roadmap. Unfortunately, regular couple therapy roadmaps don’t work when the spouses are heading in different directions: one leaning towards immediate divorce and the other desperate to salvage the marriage. Discernment Counseling is the only research-informed approach that directly serves couples on the brink of divorce. The entire process is transparent to everyone and includes clear goals that both spouses sign up for.

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Saint Paul, MN
55113

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