Doherty Relationship Institute

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Saint Paul, MN
Doherty Relationship Institute

Bill is an internationally recognized professor, researcher, writer, speaker, consultant, and democracy builder. www.dohertyrelationshipinstitute.com

Bill Doherty, Ph.D., and Elizabeth Doherty Thomas, MS, LAMFT run this multi-pronged organization whose mission is to broaden the cultural conversations around marriage, therapy, divorce reform, and other mental and medical health topics.

08/13/2025

How do you meet the needs of a mixed-agenda couple when one wants to possibly leave and the other wants to save the marriage? The answer is that both have a lot to learn about themselves and their relationship. The only failure in Discernment Counseling is if both people don’t learn something useful for now and their future, whether in this relationship or another one.

Our therapists agree, Discernment Counseling works well in their practices. Their discernment couples report greater self-understanding, and if divorce occurs, it tends to be a softer landing for the couple and their children.

www.discernmentcounseling.com

07/30/2025

There have always been experienced couples therapists who come up with their own way of working with couples on the brink of divorce. Part of our mission is to have a well- known, trusted, predictable experience for couples on the brink of divorce (not idiosyncratic to the one therapist.) Our therapists love offering Discernment Counseling and confidently making referrals to colleagues across the nation.

https://discernmentcounseling.com/

07/16/2025

Our reactions, our behaviors and our thoughts stay with us even if we leave our marriage. It’s likely those same realities will show up in any relationship.

Discernment Counseling works with both the individual and the couple, allowing both spouses time to reflect on what they bring to the marriage as well as how they are affecting each other.

Read more about the Discernment Counseling process on our website.

Link is in the bio.
https://discernmentcounseling.com/

07/02/2025

Nobody decides to get divorced in a purely logical state of mind. Discernment Counseling helps couples therapists support spouses in the often complex negative marital history and emotional tugs both partners may feel when one partner is thinking of ending the marriage.

www.discernmentcounseling.com

06/18/2025

Therapists love the idea of a clinical roadmap. Unfortunately, regular couple therapy roadmaps don’t work when the spouses are heading in different directions: one leaning towards immediate divorce and the other desperate to salvage the marriage. Discernment Counseling is the only research-informed approach that directly serves couples on the brink of divorce. The entire process is transparent to everyone and includes clear goals that both spouses sign up for.

06/05/2025

Discernment Counseling is the first research-informed approach designed exclusively for couples where usually one is ambivalent about the marriage and doing therapy while the other wants to save the marriage. One is dealing with the pain of indecision and often guilt, while the other is often in free fall emotionally, not wanting the divorce. Discernment Counseling is a specialized service that meets couples in their darkest hour.
www.discernmentcounseling.com/

06/03/2025

As part of his work with , Bill was invited by CNBC to talk to 100 leading CEOs from across the United States about polarization in the workplace.

To watch the full video, go to: https://www.cnbc.com/video/2025/05/20/marriage-and-family-therapist-on-the-rise-of-political-polarization.html

05/28/2025

In the new research area of divorce ambivalence, one large survey found that 25% of married people have seriously thought about divorce in the past six months. Most haven’t told their spouse. Discernment Counseling is for couples when one spouse has told the other they are seriously considering divorce but are not completely confident about following through on it.

https://discernmentcounseling.com/

05/14/2025

We humans are wired to focus on our spouse changing if our marriage is miserable. But we can only control ourselves, so what to do? Discernment Counseling helps both people take deeper look at their own relational impact on the marriage as it exists today. We sometimes say to spouses on the brink that “You can’t divorce yourself; you will carry yourself into the next relationship.” Therapists appreciate this specialized and intensive approach to helping couples in some of the darkest moments of their lives.

https://discernmentcounseling.com/

04/23/2025

Many therapists who treat couples are unskilled in this challenging work, and some therapists downright undermine marriages (probably when they get frustrated). A research study we published just last year with colleagues documents the extent of therapist undermining in couples therapy.

Follow the link to learn more:
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10591-024-09702-2?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR4nio_jzqkymHty7ZL0Aq9bXeJ6Om-bGk8v5djzo__PAc0Pto_7YSF-vcL2mA_aem_LP_iSty_pc7R7URBEqlyPQ

03/27/2025

The uncertainty in any relationship isn’t a failure; it’s an invitation to explore deeper truths about yourself and your partner. Moments of ambivalence or doubt can signal that there’s more to learn, more to understand, and ultimately, more room for clarity. Embrace the complexity—it might just lead to something wonderful.

03/25/2025

Sometimes the best insights come when we challenge the way we normally think about our relationships. Reflecting on what’s pushed you to the brink isn’t about dwelling on problems—it’s about understanding yourself better. That self-awareness can be the first step toward a healthier future, together or apart.

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Saint Paul, MN
55113

Website

http://dohertyrelationshipinstitute.com/

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