The Emily Effect

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The Emily Effect

Join us in our movement to and help raise awareness for moms who suffer from perinatal mood disorders like postpartum depression and anxiety

You know that feeling...the one you get when that uniquely influential person in your life—whether it be a friend, coach, mentor, family member, or sweetheart—inspires you to do and become more. It's that difficult-to-describe influence which settles in your mind and heart, and becomes a motivating force to lead you to a higher plane. It's the often unspoken, impassioned plea they offer you which shapes the person you are now becoming. That is the effect Emily had on me. Everything about her sparked the good in me. She had a way of inspiring me to see the potential in myself. She had "that look" which would boost me when I was down and glum and give me a shot of confidence when I needed it most. She had the words to say at just the right moment to move me past a negative scenario and quickly onto the "silver lining" . It was that look of, "I will never give up on you!". She stood by me when I wasn't at my best. She loved me through the difficult moments of our life and made certain I knew of her unequivocal love. She carried the biggest megaphone and wasn't afraid to use it when I achieved successes in my life. She encouraged me to committedly fulfill all of the important responsibilities for which I had been given. She gently nudged me when I needed, but never forced or compelled me to act. She celebrated the simple and avoided the unimportant. Whatever "it" is—she had...and she graciously shared it with me. And that, my friends, is the galvanizing effect Emily Cook Dyches had on me and most everyone else she encountered.

11/05/2025

Remembering Emily on her birthday this last week reinvigorates my resolve to always and support women postpartum.

I invite you to do the same.

Find one thing you can do this week to love and serve like Emily did. Text a friend, call your mom, check in on a new mom, offer help to a mom with toddlers, hug a mom of teenagers, take a walk and have one on one time with your kid who is struggling, etc.

You may not think it’s that big of a deal or doesn’t make a difference but IT DOES!!!! I hear over and over about the small kindnesses that not only help a mom through her motherhood journey but in some cases can literally save a life.

Be the friend that calls. Be the neighbor who helps. Be the daughter/sister/aunt that shows up.

Tag us as you not just this week but the whole holiday season. 🤍🤍🤍

10/21/2025

Myth #1: If I didn’t experience a postpartum mood or anxiety disorder (PMADS) with my first baby I won’t experience it with my second baby. FALSE: You can experience after any pregnancy, miscarriage or birth. ⁣
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Myth #2: Depression is the only mental disorder that can happen postpartum. FALSE: PMADS are a range of mood and anxiety disorders and include postpartum depressions, anxiety, OCD, post traumatic stress disorder, panic disorder, bipolar, or psychosis. ⁣
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Myth #3: These mental illnesses only show us within 3-6 months of birth and after that you are in the clear. FLASE: It can show up, up to 3 years postpartum. ⁣
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Myth #4: PMADS are a sign of weakness or failure as a mother. FALSE: They are REAL and TREATABLE mental illnesses and you didn’t do anything wrong. ⁣
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“Reach out, speak up and know that seeking help is courageous first step in reclaiming your well-being.” -Jade Chaves, ⁣⁣⁣⁣
disorder

10/15/2025

The words we use matter.
You had postpartum depression. You experienced anxiety.
But you are still YOU — strong, loving, and growing. 🌼
Let’s start talking about mental health as something we go through, not something we are. 💕

10/05/2025

Reasons women stop breastfeeding:⁣
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1. Baby’s tongue tie⁣
2. For mental health reasons⁣
3. Underproducing⁣
4. Mastis⁣
5. Clogged ducts⁣
6. Thrush or other medical conditions⁣
7. It’s super hard. ⁣
8. It hurts no matter what you try⁣
9. D-MER⁣
10. Other⁣
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Let’s normalize that everyone’s journey is different and THAT’S OK! What worked for you may not work for someone else. What was your nursing experience like? Did you feel pressure, shame or judgement from yourself or people around you?⁣⁣⁣⁣

10/01/2025

Are you on your list of people to show love to today? I promise you deserve it...even if you don’t think you do.⁣
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Giving yourself some love today can be simple. It can be talking back to your negative self talk and reminding yourself that you are enough today, as you are. Or an act of self care...doing something for yourself that will truly fill your cup. ⁣
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When it comes to showing love today or any other day, please put yourself at the top of your list...consistently. Far too many of us are depriving ourselves of self love (knowingly or unknowingly) and it’s time for us to consider these profound words from Buddha more than we ever have before...consistently...❤️❤️⁣
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💛 What do you do to show yourself love?
❤️

09/23/2025

One of the most common symptoms of a perinatal anxiety or mood disorder occurs on the spectrum of anger: irritability——> Rage.

We often call these feelings “check engine lights or signposts.” Emotions organize us for action, in other words, emotions are data. Some common messages that postpartum anger and rage are trying to communicate to us are:⁣

-Unmet needs
-Uncommunicated expectations
-Important goals that are being blocked.⁣

🤍Our emotions are always valid but our behavior urges are not always effective, this is often the case when we act while feeling dysregulated anger. This can cause us to feel a sense of shame or guilt later (mom guilt for yelling anyone?). In order to make value-based decisions, we need to regulate our emotions or manage the intensity of them.

🤍A few practices that can help us regulate anger include:⁣

-Building our emotional vocabulary (being able to name what we are feeling).⁣
-Using self-compassion to get curious about our emotions by asking: What are my feelings trying to tell me? Do I have a need that is not being met?⁣
-Checking the facts about an event. Oftentimes our emotions can influence how we think about an event. When we assess our thoughts and check our thoughts against facts (not judgments) we can change the intensity of our emotions or change the emotion entirely.⁣
-Understanding that anger and rage are not WHO we are but are messengers trying to communicate important data to us, we can alleviate both shame and guilt by validating what we feel, meeting our needs, treating ourselves compassionately, and using emotion regulation skills to help us make value-based choices.

09/19/2025

That’s right, help is only one phone call away when you or a loved one needs a listening ear and guidance in finding maternal mental heath resources!⁣
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Experiencing a mental health crisis catches most moms and families off guard. Not knowing where to turn to for help can intensify feelings of overwhelm. This is why familiarizing yourself and loved ones with resources in advance is crucial.⁣
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One of the best resources I recommend for a mom in crisis or a mom who simply needs more help and support and doesn’t know where to start are PSI Coordinators. PSI stands for Postpartum Support International and coordinators are trained volunteers who provide support, encouragement, information, and resources by phone, text, or email. They help connect moms and/or their loved ones to local providers and resources who are trained in maternal mental health.⁣
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To find a PSI Coordinator in your area outside of Utah, visit: https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/locations/⁣
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To find a your local PSI Coordinator in Utah, visit: https://www.psiutah.org/emotional-health/resources-info/⁣
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Do yourself and your loved ones a favor and bookmark this post for easy access for when you might need this information. 💛⁣
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09/11/2025

One of of the biggest culprits of depression and anxiety is believing that we aren’t DOING enough.⁣⁣
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“I don’t read enough to my kids.”⁣⁣
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“I don’t take my kids fun places like other moms do.”⁣⁣
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“I’m failing at making healthy meals for my family.”⁣⁣
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And the list goes on and on. LITERALLY. We rattle off these lists over and over in our head and the result is feelings of hopelessness and overwhelm.⁣⁣
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While evaluating where we are at and how we can improve is important, too often we are doing it ineffectively by rattling off these lists of unrealistic expectations in our minds. Ever heard the phrase “If you chase too many rabbits, you won’t catch any”?⁣⁣
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Much has and can be said about how we can more effectively navigate through feelings of overwhelm and being more efficient in our lives. For me it comes to three things: PRIORITIZING, FOCUS, and ACCEPTING THAT LESS TRULY IS MORE when it comes increasing the quality of our lives. Easier said than done right? Of course it is! But chasing rabbits repeatedly and never catching one isn’t exactly easy either. In fact, its exhausting!⁣⁣
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In short, FOCUS on what matters most. Once you catch one rabbit, then you can move on to the next. I’m a firm believer that if we built our lives on simple principles and the things that matter most, the rest will follow.⁣⁣
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** I HAVE A CHALLENGE FOR YOU! Take some time to think about what you need to remove from your life or do less of then make a change. Keep the pattern going. Whenever you feel a desire for change and improvement in your life, start with what you can remove instead of adding more to your plate. ⁣
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It’s time to dispel the myth that doing more always equates to growth and progress. I think we will all find that being intentional and having the courage to focus on less will often produce the results and peace of mind that we are all seeking. ⁣⁣⁣⁣
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09/10/2025

Many people assume that being a perfectionist is simply striving for your personal version of greatness (or striving for your best). Perfectionism, however, has an inverse relationship with personal growth.⁣
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Perfectionism at its root is the quest to avoid suffering, criticism, outside judgment, and circumstances that validate the belief, “I’m not good enough.” This avoidance comes at the expense of ignoring who we really are in order to “fit in.”⁣
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For many of us active and recovering perfectionists we were the ones who were top performers, getters of good grades, captain of the sports teams, overachievers in our crafts, and people pleasers. When we achieved, pleased, and performed we had very short-lived moments of fitting in. But as most of us can attest, when we weren’t reaching our own expectations our concept of self-worth was directly damaged.⁣
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Perfectionism THEN IS THE CONSTANT HUSTLE FOR SELF-WORTH, the problem is that if perfection is the goal we’ll never be ever to hustle hard enough to catch what we are chasing.⁣
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All of us have perfectionist tendencies, some of us experience perfectionism in certain spheres of our lives while the rest of us have an underlying belief that our worth is a direct reflection of our performance. Overcoming perfectionism is one of the most influential things mothers can do to cultivate a concept of true and unconditional self-worth. We can do this by adopting the concepts of self-compassion, challenging shame beliefs, and grasping the concept that GOOD ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Have you ever or do you currently struggle with perfectionism?⁣⁣⁣⁣

08/24/2025

Many people assume that being a perfectionist is simply striving for your personal version of greatness (or striving for your best). Perfectionism, however, has an inverse relationship with personal growth. Perfectionism at its root is the quest to avoid suffering, criticism, outside judgment, and circumstances that validate the belief, “I’m not good enough.” This avoidance comes at the expense of ignoring who we really are in order to “fit in.” For many of us active and recovering perfectionists we were the ones who were top performers, getters of good grades, captain of the sports teams, overachievers in our crafts, and people pleasers. When we achieved, pleased, and performed we had very short-lived moments of fitting in. But as most of us can attest, when we weren’t reaching our own expectations our concept of self-worth was directly damaged. Perfectionism then is the constant hustle for worth, the problem is that if perfection is the goal we’ll never be ever to hustle hard enough to catch what we are chasing. All of us have perfectionist tendencies, some of us experience perfectionism in certain spheres of our lives while the rest of us have an underlying belief that our worth is a direct reflection of our performance. Overcoming perfectionism is one of the most influential things mothers can do to cultivate a concept of true and unconditional self-worth. We can do this by adopting the concepts of self-compassion, challenging shame beliefs, and grasping the concept that GOOD ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Have you ever or do you currently struggle with perfectionism?⁣⁣⁣⁣

08/23/2025

Did you know that 1 in 10 men develop male postpartum depression or paternal postpartum depression?

The signs of in men are the same as those in women. Some signs are:

-Lack of attachment to child
-Lack of sleep or excessive sleep
-Loss of appetite
-Irritability
-Sudden changes in weight — gaining or losing weight without much effort
-Unable to find joy in life — no longer enjoys activities he used to
-Increased sadness
-Thoughts of harm — saying their family is better off without them

Is this something you or your spouse has dealt with?

08/15/2025

What many moms refer to as mom guilt is actually shame. What is the difference between guilt and shame? Guilt describes behavior that violates YOUR OWN personal values. Shame, however, is a penetrating feeling that communicates that there is something defective with your character. Many others have described the difference this way: Guilt= “I did something bad.” Shame= “I am bad.” ⁣
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Why is the difference important? If you believe that something is intrinsically wrong with you, how likely is it that you will feel empowered toward meaningful change? Research would indicate that long-term change as a result of shame is rare. Guilt, when it is justified and accurately fits the circumstances, reminds us that we have the power to course correct and continue to pursue a path aligned with our values. Shame thrives in secrecy, it makes us want to hide, stay quiet, and pretend. When we oblige we actually believe the thoughts that, “something is wrong with me, I’m not good enough, I am defective, I am worthless.” ⁣
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Shame can sound like:⁣⁣
“I should ……”⁣⁣
“I shouldn’t….”⁣⁣
“I’m not like (insert neighbor/sister/mother/friend).”- ie comparison.⁣⁣
“I am angry/sad/depressed” - ie identifying with an emotion rather than experiencing the emotion (I feel angry/sad/depressed).”⁣⁣
ANYTHING THAT ATTACKS OR DIMINISHES YOUR WORTH.⁣⁣
How do we overcome shame? Empathy and compassion dispel shame. When we are compassionate with ourselves or when others are compassionate and express empathy toward us we recognize that we are not flawed, but human, and not alone but suffering and WORTHY of help and healing. Listen for shame, and bring it to light by expressing self-compassion (treating yourself like a good friend) and/or talking about it with a trusted friend or therapist.⁣⁣⁣⁣

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Salem, UT
84653

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http://theemilyeffect.org/donate/

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