01/22/2022
On this day, January 22, 1986 my brother Ken ended his life by su***de. He was 29 years old. He was just a few years older than me and from about 16 years of age, he had suffered from a brain disease called schizophrenia. He was engaged to a wonderful woman who chose to overlook his illness and to see instead his many good qualities. He could not find a job after having been let go from the last one for an incident involving a coworker who made fun of his peculiar behavior. He was a hard worker and returned to the family farm where he could put his hard work ethic to good use. This wasn’t enough income to support a family however, and he began his search. The stress of trying to find a job and a place to live overwhelmed him and he began experiencing signs of a relapse. Not wanting to burden his family, his fiancé, or to relive the trauma of being treated like a criminal, or because he had no hope of ever achieving a normal life, he did what he had to do. It caused an enormous shock to his family and left them heart broken and guilt ridden for years to come.
Through this tragedy, my mother found NAMI, The National Alliance on Mental Illness, and threw herself into advocacy for mental health legislation, to fund research, overcome stigma, and provide needed services and health insurance coverage for mental illness. She found healing and a sense of purpose in this way and has inspired me and others to follow in her footsteps.
My brother Ken always sent me a card on my birthday, so although he was a man of few words, I always knew that the deep bond of connection we once shared was still there. Here’s a poem I wrote about one of those cards that has survived my many moves in life.
“For a Sister Who’s Loved A Lot”
On the cover: a basket of ripened fruit,
red raspberries spilling over –
Like the ones we found in the woods and picked by the gallons and gorged ourselves on, staining our mouths red.
That mom turned into jars of jam that we slathered in mushy mounds on homemade bread.
“Today you come to mind as you so often do…”
Under his stiff exterior there’s still that boy
who watched over me and boosted me up the big tree. That quiet boy who fed the cats warm milk from the cows, and loved to pet small baby animals.
“For whether we’re together or apart,
There will always be
a very warm and special love
That holds you near
and keeps you close in heart.”
“Happy Birthday from Ken”
Thank you for reading my post. If you’d like to learn more about NAMI, to donate, or become involved, you can visit NAMI.org, or locally (Chaffee County) www.namichaffee.org.
Eunice Collette
NAMI Chaffee County is an organization of families, friends and individuals whose lives have been affected by mental illness. Together, we advocate for better lives for those individuals who have a mental illness.
