12/16/2023
I AM PRESSED ON EVERY SIDE, BUT NOT CRUSHED
PERPLEXED, BUT NOT IN DISPAIR
PERSECUTED, BUT NOT ABANDONED
STRUCK DOWN, BUT NOT DESTROYED
This is a very transparent, open letter to my patients, friends, and family. Stay with me until the end please.
For those of you who are unaware, I was admitted to PRMC/Tidal Health for a 48 hour hospital stay 12/12 following having succumbed to a severe bacterial infection following a routine urology procedure the previous Friday afternoon. The procedure was part of the investigation, as to why, I have contracted acute prostatitis on 3 separate occasions this year. Everything went flawlessly, thanks to Dr. Mark Edney and his staff at Chesapeake Urology, demonstrating no active disease process or physical abnormalities. I am thankful for them and their attention, kindness and thoroughness. Most people would have undergone this procedure, rested a day then returned to their regular lives. I was not so fortunate. Admittedly, had I followed the discharge instructions I was given OR listened to my mate, I would have gone to the emergency room at least 2 full days before I did. A wise person once told me “A fool is the man who will attempt to represent himself in a court of law or act as his own physician”. On occasion, I have done both. Winning some and losing some. Life lessons right. This is a fact: One should not gamble with your freedom nor your health. I attempted to treat myself at home holistically and………This one, I lost. Here’s why:
Essentially, I was attacked and overcome by Escherichia coli, a common species of bacteria that lives primarily in our intestines and occasionally a few other places. Some strains of E. Coli are beneficial, some harmless and some, in massive quantities, are pathologic (disease or death causing). Apparently, I was harboring a bit of E. coli which were stimulated to colonize my urinary tract; my immune system is stressed sufficiently, it could not keep up. The difficulty began when I was too stubborn to seek care until the third day of fever symptoms. Julie took me to the ER on Tuesday morning; I was subsequently admitted. I was released yesterday with an essentially clean bill of health yesterday following a very thorough investigation into my physical state by the ER and Hospital staff at Tidal Health. My diagnosis is simple and easily treatable. I am thankful for them and grateful for the most excellent care they provided at every level. I have the utmost respect for the Hospitalists, Nurses, Technologists and Medical Assistant who cared for me during my stay. Unfortunately, although there has been no identifiable disease process physically, my states of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual balance are not in a position of something called HOMEOSTASIS. There are many definitions for homeostasis but I like my own analogy. Here it is:
Consider homeostasis as a four-legged chair with each leg representative of one of the previously mentioned states. When all four legs are of similar strength our status is well balanced and no matter what exterior forces are applied, we remain upright and resilient to external stressors. But let’s say we are exposed to severe stressors to one or more of those states of balance. Somewhat akin to weakening or cutting a small piece from one of those legs and then, over a time, then some more and maybe a bit from another leg unbalancing our position on our chair. We may remain sitting upright in this unbalanced situation. However, if a leg or two become too short or too weak we begin to slide off balance and no matter how we attempt to cling to our position, we can tip over completely leaving us in a pile on the ground. One may be able to balance all of our weight on one chair leg (for a time) making it seem we are in balance but it will require significant strength to remain upright. This becomes a precarious position with regards to our health. My body had lost the fight to stay upright long before my brain allowed me to seek help. I don’t think I am too proud to ask for help but I have been known to struggle too long before doing so. That, is called suffering and it is often completely unnecessary.
I am recovering at home under Julie’s watchful eye. My physicians have instructed me to rest through the weekend and follow the prescribed course of care. Although my experience at the hospital was exceptionally good, I have no wishes to return as a patient. I have humbled myself and am doing as recommended.
I profusely apologize if you had been scheduled for a care visit at EPIC then, later cancelled a time or two. We will do everything possible to reschedule all next week prior to the break for the Christmas and New Years holidays. To those who have followed my dissertation to the end, I have thoughts for you on this occasion.
Firstly, this quote, made famous by Haruki Murakami, is an old Buddhist saying. “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional”. I might add, our suffering is self-inflicted and unnecessary. Dr. Elaine Ryan writes: “Pain is part of life. It does not have to rule your life. Suffering is not part of life. We do it to ourselves”. “Letting go of the relentless thoughts in your head, the rehashing of events that have already happened, and are in the past, allows you to end unnecessary suffering. When something hurts you, you will feel the appropriate pain. This will ease. When it does, let it go”.
Secondly, (assuming you are an adult) there is no one other than you responsible for your health and wellbeing. You take care of you. Jennifer Guttman Psy. D writes is Psychology Today: “According to the American Psychological Association, 38% of people surveyed said their stress increased during the holiday season, which can lead to physical illness, depression, anxiety, and substance misuse. The reasons given were lack of time, financial pressure, gift-giving, and family gatherings”. All categories of adult mortality (causes of death) statistically increase during this particular trilogy of holidays. “When we forget to focus on self-care during the holidays, a Pandora’s box of mental health issues can arise, such as a negative attitude, physical exhaustion, resentment among family members, and physical symptoms of burnout. In another survey by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) 68% of survey participants felt financially strained, 66% experienced loneliness, and 63% felt an overwhelming sense of pressure”.
A heartfelt thank you to those of you who prayed, texted, called, posted, or came to see me or otherwise checked on my condition. Your kindness is certainly appreciated. I hope to see all of you during the next few weeks.
We will resume regular patient care on Tuesday, December 19th at 8 AM. Please call now if you need an appointment. We will do our best to get everyone scheduled and seen. Thank you for your valuable time. I hope you are benefited.
References:
1. https://mytherapist.ie/pain-inevitable-suffering-optional/
2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sustainable-life-satisfaction/202211/how-self-care-will-make-your-holidays-feel-better
