Melissa McVicker, PhD, LMFT, PLLC

02/14/2026

02/13/2026

📝 🩷💌

02/12/2026

"As adults, our task is to turn inward and give ourselves the unconditional love we missed out on as children. To learn how to build the inner warmth and compassion we’ve been seeking in others."

02/10/2026

'The energy of mindfulness helps us recognize, acknowledge, and embrace the presence of the suffering, which can already bring some calm and relief.”

02/02/2026

Relationships, including friendships, need reassessment for fit of needs, reciprocity, mutual effort, and adaptation to changes.

01/28/2026

"Metta Meditation, or loving-kindness meditation, is a powerful way to extend positive energy and compassion to ourselves and others.

It teaches us to cultivate unconditional love and kindness, reducing stress, anger, and enhancing social connections.

This transformative practice helps us foster a deeper sense of inner peace, empathy, and harmony. A beautiful reminder that when we send out love, we heal ourselves and the world around us."

01/15/2026

Pick one of these today and do it on purpose, then name it: “I want you. I want you to feel wanted by me.”

01/08/2026

Therapy can help you change generational patterns.

''They didn’t really know how to be parents. I was very much wanted, but they were so young when they had me. There was a lot of violence and aggression at home. You know, I think they didn’t really know themselves. And if you don’t truly know yourself, you can’t really see your children or their emotions either.

Eight years ago, my partner and I moved from Russia to the Netherlands. The first thing that struck me here were the houses with wooden doors and flowers in the windows. In Russia, I lived in a big city where there were metal doors everywhere and bars on the windows. When I arrived here and saw that, it immediately gave me a sense of calm and safety I had never felt before.

After six months, our relationship ended and my partner returned to Russia, and I was left here alone with my little son. That was extremely tough. I didn’t speak a word of English, and at that time not a word of Dutch either, so I really had to communicate with my hands, my feet, and a smile.

I heard stories around me of people who had lived here for more than twenty years and still didn’t feel at home either in their country of origin nor here. I was determined: that would not happen to me. I wanted to feel at home here, and I was willing to do whatever it took to make that happen.

But you can only feel at home if you feel good within yourself. I had been through so much, and there was still so much from my childhood that I hadn’t processed, and I started to see that I was repeating certain patterns in the way that I communicated with my son.

I would often shout at him, because that was how I had learned to communicate through conflict and yelling. And he began to copy my behavior. That’s when I knew: it has to stop with me. The trauma has to end here. I felt so strongly that I needed to work on myself.

Four years ago, I started therapy, and it changed my world. I learned to allow all my emotions and to feel my own boundaries. The moment I started to improve my behavior, I immediately saw a change in my son’s behavior as well. It doesn’t happen overnight, but when you start clearing things up inside yourself, things begin to get better for your children too.''