Novian Counseling & Neuroeducation Center or i CNS

11/08/2024

Check out my blog post https://wix.to/ahy41cX

Emotional regulation is crucial for mental health and well-being. For those experiencing mood disorders, navigating feelings can be particul

10/29/2024

I've been working on a framework for living called "In Spirit Living," which starts with inspiration: the act of bringing air into the body, but also the act of opening the mind to new ideas and creating a vision for the future centered on compassion. I decided to start sharing this with you all through my blog. I would love to get your feedback on my model! Take a look: https://wix.to/wCpjil9

In Spirit Living brings awareness and access to the mind-body-spirit connection: Inspiration, focus, creation, balance, and compassion

10/23/2024

Emotional intelligence—also known as EQ—helps you handle emotions, connect with people, make good choices, and stay calm when life gets complicated. Emotional intelligence is one of the factors that allows people to navigate complex social situations with ease or maintain composure under pressure. Research has shown that our success in life and growth and connection in our relationships and marriage is 80% EQ and only 20% IQ. And the best part is that emotional intelligence is a skill you can build.

It’s crucial to understand the key components of emotional intelligence and what to do and not do so you can build your EQ and reap the benefits. If you struggle with EQ as many people do reach out I’d love to help you grow and succeed in life by building your EQ.
https://www.integrativecounselingandneurofeedbacksolutions.com

10/15/2024

Let your Spirit shine today 😃
The warmth of your spirit shines brightest when surrounded by those who uplift, support, and bring kindness into your life. It’s the energy of good hearts and true intentions that lights up your path and makes you glow from within.

10/11/2024

This image contains much of what I discuss with clients as part of therapy daily to help them create healthy communication, interactions and relationships.

10/10/2024

Science once told us that the human brain stops developing in childhood, however, we now know that the brain is constantly evolving and changing. Many parts of the brain respond to experiences and our ‘software’ can be updated through learning.

Despite the neurological facts, some people still think that you’re stuck with the talents and ‘smarts’ you’re born with. Psychologist Carol Dweck, from Stanford University, was the first researcher to explore the idea of fixed and growth mindsets.

In Dr. Dweck’s seminal work she described the two main ways people think about intelligence or ability as having either:
* A fixed mindset: in this mindset, people believe that their intelligence is fixed and static.
* A growth mindset: in this mindset, people believe that intelligence and talents can be improved through effort and learning.

People with a fixed mindset typically believe that their level of intelligence and abilities are innate. In Dr. Dweck’s own words, fixed mindset people beleive that “they have a certain amount [of intelligence] and that's that, and then their goal becomes to look smart all the time and never look dumb”.

For people with a growth mindset, however, they understand that not knowing or not being good at something can be a temporary state—so they don’t have to feel ashamed or try to prove they’re smarter than they currently are.

10/08/2024

Such important information to understand in relationships.

10/08/2024

Some insights to help create connection and a healthier relationship with your partner. If you are struggling for connection or with communication in your relationship reach out, I am passionate about helping couples grow. To learn more about me visit my website www.icnssa.com.

When it comes to maintaining a healthy and lasting relationship, date night is essential. Date night is not only a way to spend quality time with your partner but also an opportunity to strengthen the bond between the two of you. By setting aside time to reconnect with your significant other, you can ensure that your relationship remains strong and healthy for years to come.

Why is date night important?
Date night is an essential factor to consider when maintaining a healthy and lasting relationship. You can strengthen your bond, increase intimacy, and improve your communication skills by taking the time to go on date nights. Date night is also a great way to have fun and enjoy each other’s company, which is essential for keeping your relationship strong and healthy. So make sure that you set aside time to go on date nights with your partner, and you’ll be sure to reap the benefits of a solid and lasting relationship.

Let’s take a closer look at why date night is so important for your relationship.

1. Quality Time
One of the main reasons why date night is so crucial to your relationship is that it allows you and your partner to spend quality time together. In today’s fast-paced world, finding the time to connect with your partner and spend meaningful moments together can be difficult. That’s why setting aside a specific period of time to spend with your significant other is so important.
This is an opportunity to talk and get to know each other more deeply. You can talk about your hopes, dreams, and aspirations and discuss topics you don’t usually get to talk about in the hustle and bustle of daily life. When you have quality time together, you can focus on each other and really connect.

2. Intimacy
Date night is also an opportunity to strengthen the intimacy between you. Intimacy is an integral part of any relationship, and it’s often neglected when couples become too busy with work, family, and other responsibilities.
When you take the time to go on date nights, you can focus on each other and work on increasing the level of intimacy in your relationship. This could be as simple as taking a walk together and holding hands, or it could involve more physical forms of intimacy like cuddling, kissing, and more.

No matter how you choose to spend your date night, it’s an opportunity to reconnect and remind your partner how much they mean to you.

3. Communication
Date night is also a great opportunity to strengthen your communication skills. Communication is a crucial part of any relationship, and it’s essential to ensure that you and your partner are on the same page.
When you spend time together on date nights, you can talk about things that may be bothering you and discuss any issues you have. It is also an excellent opportunity to talk and share your thoughts and feelings with each other in a comfortable and relaxed environment.
By strengthening your communication skills, you can ensure that your relationship stays healthy and strong for years to come.

4. Fun
Finally, date night is vital to your relationship because it’s a great opportunity to have fun and enjoy each other’s company. Date nights don’t have to be expensive or fancy, so long as they spark fun, laughter, and connection.
The important thing is to make sure that you’re both having fun and enjoying each other’s company. Adding some fun and excitement to your relationship ensures that you both remain happy and spontaneous, which boosts intimacy.

10/07/2024

A few Fall Openings for New Clients 😃
If you don’t know how integrative mind-body approaches such as qEEG, neurofeedback, or the many other therapies such as ACT, Mindfulness Meditation, DBT etc. that I use can help others visit my website at www.icnssa.com or give me a call. I’d love to share how I can help or refer you to someone who can 😊

09/12/2024

As someone who has experienced intense Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder in the past and still occasionally experience some of these symptom (yes even Mental Health Professionals have experienced and often still experience Anxiety and other issues) I thought passing on this well written information was important as it seems more and more children and adults are experiencing these symptoms likely due to the ever-changing, uncertain world we live in.

As the article points out not all Anxiety is the same which means different treatments and often professional help are necessary. If you find yourself relating to one or more of these types of Anxiety please reach out to me or another trained Mental Health Professional. There is help. Anxiety does not need to be an ongoing experience in your life. I am proof of that 😃

"That’s the worst part — it feels like I’ve completely lost control."

06/01/2024

As I awaken on this Saturday morning my mind brings me to reflect on experiencing peace by finding God in each and every moment. This morning my peace is found in the quietness of my bed while listening to the beautiful sounds of nature outside my bedroom window (mixed with a dog barking 😉)

Such a perfect example of my life at times, God is surrounding me with his beauty and peace but instead of embracing it and being grateful I bark away thinking it’s not enough or that I need to do more to experience peace. When the truth is God and life are constantly providing all I need to do and achieve whatever I want in life if I stay focused on God and at peace in each moment.

I learned this important lesson many years ago while pursuing a dream and goal for 8 1/2 years that for the first 29 1/2 years of my life seemed unattainable…obtaining a PhD! I often believed the lie that I didn’t have time to pursue my God-given dreams and goals in life or to take time to experience God’s peace (and truth be told I still struggle with believing these lies at times). However, through that experience and each passing day since, thanks be to God I am learning to live and experience God’s peace and guidance more often daily.

I continue to see evidence that God will provide the time, people and opportunities I need to live the life He created me to live daily as long as I get out of his way and stop barking 😉 at His plans and the beauty He provides for me in each and every moment. This is true especially in the challenging and stressful moments where God’s peace and guidance can still be found if I search for Him and His peace and guidance instead of searching for the world’s peace and guidance.

Deepak Chopra once said, "Life gives you plenty of time to do whatever you want to do if you stay in the present moment."

One of the absolute best ways to know that you are at peace with yourself, is you're not constantly dwelling on your past and you're certainly not fretting about your future either.

There's a Scripture in the Bible that says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matthew 6:34—NKJV) There's another that says, "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit'; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow…" (James 4:13-14—NKJV).

Are these verses encouraging irresponsibility or a lack of planning? No. What they are conveying is saying is if you stay in the moment, it keeps you calm, it encourages you to be grateful and it gives you an unbelievable amount of peace. And with the inner peace that comes from faith and trust in God in every moment you can accomplish—and conquer—just about anything that comes your way. (Funny how that works, huh?)

Wishing and praying for everyone who reads this to experience a peaceful Saturday, weekend and life by finding God and His peace in each and every moment 😊

05/26/2024

Memorial Day weekend Reflection Emotions
As I sit in God’s presence this Sunday morning before getting ready to attend worhip with my church family at Lifehouse Church I reflect on the meaning of Memorial Day. This weekend and tomorrow is intended to be a time of reflection for those men and women who were lost forever from this world and their family and friends while serving to protect each of us in the USA. When I think of this sacrifice I think of countless stories of loss I heard from current military service members and veterans while working at the Audie Murphy Veterans Hospital from 2001-2008 which each story broke my heart.

However on this day and weekend I most specifically think of the son Bejamin Schmidt of my good friend and colleague Becky Cheairs formerly Becky Whetstone who loss her son at the young age of 24 on Thursday October 6, 2011 while fighting as a Marine Scout Sniper in Helmand Province.

https://www.porterloring.com/obituaries/Benjamin-Whetstone-LCpl-Schmidt?obId=18172863

I have have been truly blessed for over 20 years to know Becky and during that time to watch Benjamin grow up and support Becky in the stress that inevitably comes with parenting while we coped with our own stress of completing a PhD program in Marriage & Family Therapy at St. Mary’s University over 7 years and then when starting our private practices where at the beginning we officed next door to each other. These were good times of both learning and stress as is often the case with growth in life.

But my heart stopped when I first heard of Bejamin’s death and even as write this post nearly 13 years later my heart still skips a beat and tears come to my eyes as I reflect on all that was loss in Bejamin and for the pain and loss for Becky, his sister Casey and all those who have been impacted by Bejamin’s untimely death.

As the emotions arise and tears are in my eyes I reflect on the time Jesus wept and what I have learned about the need to express and process our emotions. Earlier in my life I admit I would repress my emotions significantly which ultimately lead me to experience Anxiety. Panic Attacks and Depression and to have difficulty connecting in my relationships with family and friends. But no longer I now openly express my emotions (yes healthy men and boys do and need to cry).

So as I experience these emotions and memories of Bejamin and others I reflect on what I have learned and come to believe about emotions on the Memorial Day Sunday. May everyone who reads this post be blessed with peace, love and connection as we experience the full ray of emotions this day and everyday! Please do not deny your emotions rather express them in healthy ways. If you need help please reach out to a friend, family member or mental health professional.

So here are my reflections on emotions this Memorial Day Weekend…

Artist and Author Morgan Harper Nichols once wrote:
“You are free to feel what you need to feel.”

Brené Brown once wrote:
“When we deny emotion, it owns us.”

But what do these ideas even mean? Especially in a culture and time in which emotions are often seen as a liability—how do we honor and tend to emotions without getting lost in them?

And what, if anything, does that have to do with being fully human?

When I consider the role of emotions not only as a follower of Jesus, but also as a human—I think often of the story of Lazarus from John 11. In it, Jesus’ dear friend Lazarus has recently died. When Jesus does arrive, he points to the idea that this story will end in hope and goodness; but, and don’t miss this—Jesus laments with his friends anyway.

Jesus sees Mary and others grieving the loss of her brother Lazarus and “he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled” (v. 33). And then, as the shortest verse in the Bible tells us: “Jesus wept” (v. 35).

This pivotal moment in this gospel story matters for us because it shows us the validity and necessity of emotion—even and especially when there is hope ahead. Now, we certainly don’t want to oversimplify emotions.

From a nervous system standpoint, there are many subtle changes to the various ways we are invited physically and mentally to experience and work with our emotion which we often want to shut down or the trauma being so intense leads us to shut in order to protect ourselves at first.

But perhaps even though we may want to deny our emotions and shut them down can we at least acknowledge that if Jesus—both fully God and fully Man—is modelling that some of our most painful emotions are worthy to be felt; if God is moved by the pain of his friends, then we, too, are invited to the table of listening to the sacred language our bodies speak.

But in order to engage this important work, we must at least begin to validate the reality of our feelings—even if we can’t feel all that we need to at once. So may we remember that emotions add texture and beauty to our lives. They provide feedback to our interactions. They are a response to our stories, physiology, and environments—those parts of our lives that make us who we are; our God-given selves.

Research indicates that if we are feeling anxious, a longer exhale than inhale helps communicate safety to our bodies. If it feels like a resource to you, I invite you to utilize this breath prayer as a way to more deeply connect to what it means to honor fullness:

So on this Memorial Day weekend or anytime emotins are please join with me in this breathhing practice and prayer.

Inhale:
My emotions matter.

Exhale:
God, as I am able, help me to feel.