Nicholas Wilkens, Ph.D.

Nicholas Wilkens, Ph.D. Join me here for some things funny, inspirational, practical, or absolutely useless and annoying. Mary's University for fifteen years.

Dr. Wilkens is a therapist, researcher, published author, and speaker. He has his private practice at the Institute for Couple and Family Enhancement is San Antonio - www.nicholaswilkensphd.com. He was Executive Director for the Guadalupe Valley Christian Counseling Center for seventeen years, and was also Senior Lecturer/Professor Pro Rata in the graduate department of Counseling and Human Ser

vices at St. Dr. Wilkens also performs private supervision for LPC-Interns and LMFT-Associates in their pursuits for full licensure. Finally, Dr. Wilkens owned, operated, and created the curriculum for his company Insight Education, LLC, and it's website, www.mycounselingceus.com, an online website for pre-approved Texas licensing board continuing education units for Licensed Professional Counselors, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists, and Licensed Clinical Social Workers.

There is nothing new under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:9
04/24/2026

There is nothing new under the sun. Ecclesiastes 1:9

Try this rule in your next argument: you can’t respond until your partner says, “Yes—that’s exactly what I mean.” It’s h...
04/10/2026

Try this rule in your next argument: you can’t respond until your partner says, “Yes—that’s exactly what I mean.”
It’s harder than it sounds—and far more effective:

Struggling with the same arguments? Learn a powerful couples therapy exercise that helps partners feel understood, reduce conflict, and rebuild connection. Offered by San Antonio Discernment Counseling.

What if denial isn’t always the problem?Early in my career working with abused children, I noticed something that didn’t...
03/26/2026

What if denial isn’t always the problem?

Early in my career working with abused children, I noticed something that didn’t sit right with me.

Well-meaning adults often pushed kids to “talk about what happened”—assuming that if they weren’t, they were in denial.

But many of those kids were actually stabilizing.
And pushing too soon didn’t help—it overwhelmed them.

That stayed with me.

Years later, I researched denial more deeply and found something surprising:

👉 In many cases, denial isn’t dysfunction.
👉 It’s protection.

Sometimes the mind paces reality so we don’t take on more than we can handle.

So instead of asking,
“Why aren’t they facing it?”
We might ask,
“Are they ready?”

I wrote more about this here:

Is denial always unhealthy? Learn how denial can sometimes protect us during overwhelming experiences and when it may signal the need for support.

If you, like me, have grown so pessimistic about the national and international reality as you see it that it has negati...
02/24/2026

If you, like me, have grown so pessimistic about the national and international reality as you see it that it has negatively affected your mental health, I think you will find this particular study to be quite comforting.

Most people are personally optimistic, but socially pessimistic. This can be a drag on collective progress.

01/18/2026

Posted this ten years ago today. This opinion has only grown stronger for me.

01/17/2026
Relationships are tough.
11/12/2025

Relationships are tough.

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San Antonio, TX
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