11/23/2023
Let's talk about grief and the holidays...
My dad was killed the day before Thanksgiving, 15 years ago.Β
I've spent anniversaries curled up in a ball on the couch, unable to move or think or breathe.Β
I've spent anniversaries going through the motions, dissociated and numbed out while still getting things done and looking completely put together.Β
I've spent anniversaries moving through my day with relative ease, when it feels like, out of nowhere, someone gut punches me and I'm out for the count.Β
And, I've spent anniversaries where I laid my head down at night, realizing that my emotions didnβt get big or loud or require my attention at all.
I've also spent anniversaries filled with so much joy + gratitude that I thought I might burst.
There is no one way to grieve and grief is ever-evolving. If you're navigating your own grief journey, know that your feelings, whatever they are in this moment, are so incredibly valid.
Talk about your grief this holiday season. Grief is not meant to be held alone. Get into therapy, talk to a trusted friend, use the 988 hotline (it's not just for people experiencing suicidal thoughts).Talk about your loved one and how you want them to be remembered. Talk about how complicated the relationship might have been and how that has impacted you. Or talk about how perfect it was.
Just TALK.
Shame thrives on secrecy, and avoidance adds an additional barrier to the already difficult grieving process.