03/23/2024
Are you often stressed? Feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders? High expectations constantly on your mind? Ruminating about mistakes that you’ve made or areas you feel you are falling short?
Maybe you feel tired… like, a lot… As in, difficulty getting up in the morning, struggling to find energy to complete the days necessary tasks, then crashing at night wondering how you are going to do it all over again, rinse, repeat…
STRESS & FATIGUE
It should come to no surprise that stress and fatigue are intimately linked. This is something perfectionists know about all too well…
The unceasing need to achieve often places the perfectionist in a constant state of dissatisfaction recognizing the gap between where they are and where they wish to be. From this space, is the feeling they are letting themselves and everyone around them down. Any setback becomes a threat to their self-worth and feelings of acceptance.
They become self-critical and demand perfection from others as to not get in the way of their ambitious goals.
What is increasingly clear is that it’s not just an emotional toll, the body is slowly deteriorating, until it can no longer keep up with the unrealistic demands. Commonly, the individual begins experiencing stomach problems, muscles/joints aches, or they’re always tired.
The research overwhelmingly supports what so many experience daily. Perfectionism has a dramatic effect on the body, strongly linked to chronic conditions, such as Crohn’s disease, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue syndrome.
When considering its effect on the body, the perfectionist pathway often resembles this: perfectionistic thinking – stress – cortisol overload – inflammation – dysfunction – pain – fatigue.
Quite the conundrum is created. The incessant striving creates an environment where the body struggles to deal with the onslaught of stress. This overload overwhelms the body, so it no longer has the energy to meet the demands placed upon it. Consequently, the individual now experiences more stress because they are unable to work toward their goals in the way they are accustomed to.
If one is to heal, or if this doesn’t feel attainable, then say, improve from these chronic conditions, they must go back to the source, which for the perfectionist, is intimately tied to their style of achievement striving.
LISTENING TO YOUR BODY
Of utmost importance is learning to listen to the body’s messages and make changes when necessary.
Our body consistently reflects our emotional state. When we are tense and stressed, we feel tightness in our shoulders and neck, or when anxious, we say we have butterflies in our stomach. So, the understanding our body communicates is not something new to us, even if to this point, we’ve ignored the messages.
The difference between being balanced, emotionally regulated, and going with the flow is quite distinct from stressed, emotionally dysregulated, and battling against the world to get what we want.
For the perfectionist, the practice of dropping into the body is no easy task. The inclination is to live in their heads, ignore the body, and push to achieve goals at whatever cost – even at the expense of their own health. Learning to listen to the body is a skill that must be developed.
Meditation, breath work, and intentional movement are incredibly effective ways to nurture this newfound relationship with your body.
But simply, we become more proficient by choosing to listen in each moment. Is there a food that you love, but feels like it doesn’t love you? Stop eating it. Is there an activity you enjoy but continues to cause you pain? Stop doing it. The magic lies in listening and choosing a different path.
After all, how likely are we to recognize intuitive whispers when we ignore the messages our bodies shout at us daily.
As we become more aware of sensations within the body, we better understand when it says, “yes, you’re on the right track,” or “no, you need to alter course.”
When we make the difficult decision to change, and step into the unknown, energy that was once trapped in our body, revealing misalignment, is now accessible to create something new. Often, this energy is exactly what a person needs to achieve their goal.
Clarity comes into view when before there was only confusion, or perhaps, out of nowhere, instead of roadblocks, a new path emerges that one hadn’t considered. These are ways the universe provides intuitive guidance.
It’s not always about doing more and outworking the competition. I consistently tell my clients that what we wish to achieve, often resides in what we are willing to give up. We free up space and nurture our intuition.
Have big dreams, create a vision of what you intend to achieve, and work to hone your skills. But let go of the need to control, allow yourself the freedom to adjust, and when your body speaks to you, please listen.
Mind-body. Movement. Mindfulness.
