Center for Natural Anxiety Relief

07/16/2024

02/29/2024

This theme has come up a lot in my recent appointments with clients so I feel it important to share.

The solution to our frustration towards others as a result of unmet expectations is not to lower our expectations or force others to change, but to create and enforce boundaries. Expectations are what we think, feel, and/or say. Boundaries are how we act.

Like or comment below if this relates. Blessings on your healing journey.. sensitive souls 🙏 True empathy and solid boundaries go hand in hand.

02/29/2024

The solution to our frustration towards others as a result of unmet expectations is not to lower our expectations or force others to change, but to create and enforce boundaries. Expectations are what we think, feel, and/or say. Boundaries are how we act.

Like or comment below if this relates. Blessings on your healing journey.. sensitive souls 🙏 True empathy and solid boundaries go hand in hand.

01/05/2024

The neurobiology of perfectionism 🧠🤯

The anterior cingulate area of the brain pictured above is implicated in error detection, attention, motivation, amongst other functions. It has connections to both our limbic system (emotional processing) and prefrontal cortex (cognitive/rational processing). In simple terms, it is the "internal checker" or "oops!" part of our brain that indicates when there is a discrepancy or mismatch between our internal representation of the world and the external world/our environment. When this part of the brain is overactive, that "oops" becomes very loud as it sends signals to the limbic system to elicit an emotional response that can feel very distressing. While the evolutionary purpose of this is for our protection, in cases of maladaptive perfectionism it is often generalized to many aspects of life that are not urgent life-or-death situations. So next time perfectionism rears its head, thank your "internal checker" for its attempt to protect you and alert you of this mismatch between the environment and your internal representation. Perhaps you can even negotiate with it and allow for this particular mismatch to exist for the time being. Over time, our tolerance and flexibility around unexpected outcomes will improve in many aspects of life.

10/11/2022

For World Mental Health Day, I am reminding myself of simple ways to support mental health. When we are in a triggered emotional state, we often try to force ourselves to "fake it til we make it." This usually only works for mildly triggered states, not for more pronounced dysregulated states. Here are the signs of a dysregulated state:
1. Fear, shame, guilt, anger, despair
2. Looping and repetitive racing thoughts, often of past events
3. Dissociation from our present lived experience e.g. sensations in the body, sights and sounds around us, difficulty connecting with others in interpersonal situations
4. Physical tension in the body e.g. chest tightness, stomach knots, neck and back tension, headache
5. Feeling of powerlessness over our present mental and emotional state.

If you are in a dysregulated emotional state, don't try to "fake it til you make it." Instead, ask yourself, "how can I soothe and comfort myself in this very moment?" It may mean taking a bath or shower, listening to soothing music, lying in your bed with a fuzzy blanket, cuddling with your pet, eating some food that reminds you of home, hugging or talking to a friend or loved one, asking for help. It doesn't matter how simple it is, your body will tell you what it needs in this moment. The demands of the future CAN wait.

When we learn to self-soothe rather than "fake" a dysregulated emotional state, we build resilience, and learn to love and comfort ourselves, which is so powerful.

01/09/2021

Wellness and preventative care is the only REAL health insurance.

08/29/2020

The purpose of life is simple: to find out the truth of who you are.

06/03/2020