The Mindful Drops, San Diego, CA (2026)

02/03/2022

The world is a heavy place right now. I can’t help but think some days how unfair it is to bring my kids into this s**t show. A world of masks and fear and hate and darkness. So much division. So much unkindness. ⁣
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Some days just seem like too much. Like this is never gonna end. Like not enough people CARE about what this is all doing to our children—the future generation. It really breaks my heart. 💔⁣
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But then, I find these pockets of HOPE here and there. Whether it’s kids standing up for their right to breathe at schools, or people showing up in masses at city hall meetings, or the movement in Ottawa— and it reminds me that there is still beauty in this world. There is still kindness and love, and COMPASSION…⁣
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And that’s when I get reminded that our littles are totally meant to be here, 𝐧𝐨𝐰. THEY ARE THE LIGHT meant to shine their brightness in this cold dark world.

12/26/2021

Feliz Navidad!!! 🎄

12/22/2021

It’s beginning to look a lot like…⁣⁣⁣
a family of 4 around here!⁣⁣⁣
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Our rainbow baby will be joining the Silva party June 2022 and we couldn’t be more thrilled to be growing our family. Feeling extra grateful this holiday season ♥️. ⁣
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However, as someone who has walked through miscarriage / pregnancy loss, I know how much pregnancy announcements can sting. If you are on the road to rainbow I want to hold space for you here. I know it’s not an easy road, especially because it’s usually a lonely road to walk in silence while the rest of the world keeps spinning, but I’ve learned that the Universe has it all mapped out for us. The timing must be right. And your rainbow is coming too. 🌈

11/28/2021

Tonight I kissed you goodnight as a one year old for the very last time. Soaked in what seems to be the last bits and pieces of the baby that’s still left in you. Admired every structure, every feature, every detail. Trying to take mental pictures of the tiny hands and tiny toes that aren’t all that little anymore, telling myself I never want to forget any of it. Please please please don’t let me forget any of it. The softness, the smell, this insane peace and innocence as you sleep. Because it seems to me that with every blink and every breath you get bigger and stronger and more independent which means you need me just a little less as the days go by.⁣
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Tomorrow when you wake up, you’ll be two. And maybe there’s no big change between tonight and tomorrow, but with every day that passes, I just know you are less a baby, more a boy. My baby Mav is slipping right through my hands like sand or water, wishing I could bottle you up forever. ⁣
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No one warned me what a beautiful heartache this would be…. Watching you grow up. But with every day, every milestone, every accomplishment, my heart grows bigger and I somehow love you that much more with every breath I take; every breath you take. The more you grow, the more I love. It’s a synchronized ever growing flow. ⁣
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To think of where you started and where you are now, I truly have no words. All I can say I love you beyond measure and I’m forever grateful to you for choosing me to be your mama. What an honor and a privilege it’s been these past two years. Happy birthday my big two year old!!

11/01/2021

Best Halloween with the best tribe! Hands down best Halloween yet!!

10/17/2021

Being a boy mom is NOT for the faint of heart.⁣
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This is not how we intended to spend our weekend but got really real. First fracture down for the books 😩⁣
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He’s doing great, he’s really been such a good sport and the bravest of them all. Minimal tears. Mom on the other end… not so much. 😭😭😭😭😭

10/05/2021

While the world paralyzed without social media yesterday, we celebrated the best baby daddy on this planet !!!⁣
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Feliz Cumpleaños a ti, my main squeeze! ⁣
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Watching you grow into the person you are has been such a blessing. You amaze me every day with your ambition to build and create an incredible life for your family. ⁣
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34 has never looked so good and we are so lucky to call you ours. I thank the stars daily for putting you in my path. ⁣

I can’t imagine life without you & I’m so thankful you were born!!⁣
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Cheers to another year together babe, the best is yet to come ♥️

10/01/2021

A little late but that’s just in style with how life is since you came along my baby.⁣
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Things are so different since you came into my life. It’s almost been two years but for some reason it’s like I barely remember life before you. Sure, things are much messier now and the entire house is constantly covered in sticky little fingerprints. I’ve also never had to clean up the same mess multiple times in a day before or repeated myself to insanity only to repeat it all again the next day and then the next again and again. What is the definition of insanity again? Anyway, I digress… sleep has never felt like such a luxury as it is now and it’s safe and honest to say we’re rarely on time these days. I also have surely said and done many things I never imagined before motherhood…. No wonder my new motto now is “never say never”. I’ve literally never been more on my toes before but also so in tune with my intuition. It’s like a whole part of my soul had been asleep until you came along to wake it up.⁣
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You came into this world to teach me so much… from your very first breath that had me holding mine… you’ve taught me the hardest of lessons but also the most beautiful ones. You are my little walking and breathing miracle and seeing life through the perspective you have given me is something I will never take for granted. ⁣
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Thank you for being my biggest teacher, my biggest fan and my biggest love. I hope some day you can understand the depth of my love. Happy babes.

08/31/2021

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The dreaded due date month is here. I’ve been dreading September for a loooong time. And the last couple of days I felt kinda numb…. Like maybe I’d be ok after all. But it’s always when I think I’ll be ok that I’m not. Maybe it’s just denial. ⁣⁣
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Today’s hit me like a ton of bricks. I don’t want September to come.⁣⁣
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I was supposed to be bringing a baby home in the next few days. We were supposed to be a family of 4. Doesn’t help that I’ve been trying to conceive for the last 4 months trying to grow our family size to 4 with just no luck.⁣⁣
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I’m angry. I’m sad. Feels so unfair. ⁣⁣
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I get triggered every time I see posts of new babies going home and pretend to be ok and bottle it up when deep down I know I’m not. ⁣⁣
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“There’s a bigger plan” is what I keep trying to reassure myself, but it’s hard to believe those words and have faith when you feel a corner of your heart this empty. Arms empty. ⁣⁣
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There’s so much happiness surrounding me and I’m grateful for these 2 boys who keep my heart full 99% of the time. But days like today, I’m not ok. ⁣⁣
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I’m not sure I’ll ever be truly ok, and that’s ok. This grief will never go away. I’ve learned to accept that. ⁣⁣
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Wherever this little soul is that was supposed to join us earth side in a few days… my mama heart bursts of love for you little one, and these mama arms can’t wait to hold you someday. ⁣
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photo credit:

08/17/2021

This is now. Swipe for 2019. Same fight, but one with my baby in my arms and one with my baby in my belly. ⁣⁣
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This fight has been a long time fight and it’s extremely personal to me. Many of you may know my stance on this pandemic situation, or how I feel about masks, or vakksines based on what I post on my stories. But what most of you don’t know is the countless hours of research… the amount of studies and publications I spend my time reading almost on the daily to educate myself. I don’t have opinions based on feelings. I have opinions based on evidence based and data driven facts.⁣⁣
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This fight started when Maverick was in in my belly back when SB276 was threatening medical freedom. Our medical freedom. YOUR medical freedom too. Back when all of us fighting knew what a slippery slope that bill would mean for the future of this state. ⁣⁣
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I have to be honest with you though, I myself didn’t think it would spiral out of control this quickly either. I had hope that the bill would get reversed before Maverick was of school age so that we wouldn’t have to move out of state or be forced to homeschool. ⁣⁣
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But, things escalated quickly. This pandemic was the fast track to medical tyranny and now here we are, facing medical mandates that are threatening our freedoms, forcing people to pick between putting a medical experiment in their body or losing their jobs and their livelihoods. ⁣⁣
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And what’s even more disturbing, is how ok some people are with this division and abuse of power. I’m appalled that some of you applaud having your neighbor be segregated against because of a medical decision that should be NOBODY’S FU***NG BUSINESS but their own. Excuse my French. What happened to all you rooting for my body my choice back when you wanted to make abortions legal and available to all women? All of a sudden there’s conditions now and my body my choice doesn’t apply here because it’s for the “greater good”? I’m sorry but enough with the double standard. ⁣⁣
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Continued in comments ⬇️

07/28/2021

It’s so true that “it all goes too fast”, or they “grow up in the blink of an eye”, and while some days I don’t even realize it because I’m in the thick of life and motherhood, it wasn’t until the last few days that my baby’s been sick that I’ve realized how much he doesn’t “need me anymore”. ⁣
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I know what you’re thinking, I’m exaggerating because it’s not like he’s moving out or getting married yet but hear me out. He’s been sick and all he’s wanted is cuddles from mama. For mom to be close because he doesn’t feel good and mama makes him feel just a tad bit better. He’s wanted to be attached to my hip, to lay on my chest and for me to rock him and hold him and play with his hair and just love on him. Be there for him.⁣
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And all that made me realize that he truly is older now. He doesn’t need me to rock him to sleep anymore. He doesn’t need to lay skin to skin on my my chest to regulate his body temperature or to allow my heartbeat to bring him comfort. He doesn’t need to smell me close to know I’m there. Now he can call for me. He can ask for things he wants and needs and have opinions and voice them. He doesn’t need to cry to tell me that he’s hungry. He’s capable enough of walking over to the kitchen, opening up the pantry and grabbing a snack (if I had them at arms reach that is!). But you get the point. He’s growing up, right before my eyes and while I don’t realize it every day, when I look back, he’s just not a little baby anymore.⁣
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Navigating our little one’s phases is so special but so heart wrenching at the same time. Part of me wants for someone to tell me on here that it gets easier as they get older but I know the answer is always gonna be that it doesn’t get easier. We’re moms and that’s just a trait that comes engrained with the honorable title. We will always reminisce and admire how far they’ve come, but be sad and heartbroken at the same time that they just don’t need us as much as they once did anymore. ⁣

07/21/2021

My boys.⁣
My world.⁣
The keepers of my heart.⁣
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I’m the luckiest... not only to have them, but for them to have each other.⁣
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—Silva Family Pictures 2021—
by the bestest

The Mindful Drops

02/03/2022

12/26/2021

12/22/2021

11/28/2021

11/01/2021

10/17/2021

10/05/2021

10/01/2021

08/31/2021

08/17/2021

07/28/2021

07/21/2021

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