Affordable Relationship Counseling: Dr. Barbara Cunningham, MFT

10/09/2025

“In unusually quiet periods, a triangle may be so inactive that its basic relationship process es are not observable. In unusually chaotic periods, so many triangles are intensely active that it can be difficult to perceive any order in the process….Triangles are most easily observed during periods of moderate tension.”
Bowen & Kerr (1988)

09/19/2025

Brain is not fixed, it constantly changes through a process called neuroplasticity. Every thought, every emotion, and every experience can reshape its pathways. But research reveals something powerful: neuroplasticity thrives in the presence of love, kindness, and positive emotions, while hate and negativity can limit growth and even cause lasting harm.

Love, whether expressed through connection, empathy, or compassion, floods the brain with chemicals like oxytocin and dopamine. These chemicals strengthen neural pathways linked to learning, memory, and creativity. Over time, this builds resilience, sharper focus, and greater emotional balance. Acts of love don’t just feel good, they literally help the brain grow stronger and healthier.

On the other hand, hate, anger, and resentment activate stress pathways. Cortisol, the body’s stress hormone, overwhelms the brain, shrinking regions like the hippocampus that are vital for memory and learning. Instead of building new connections, chronic negativity locks the brain into rigid, destructive patterns, making growth harder.

This is why environments filled with love and support produce more adaptable, creative, and emotionally intelligent minds. Whether it’s nurturing relationships, practicing gratitude, or simply showing kindness, love creates the conditions for the brain to thrive.

The lesson is clear: if you want a flexible, youthful, and powerful brain, choose love over hate. What you feed your brain, through emotions and thoughts directly shapes who you become. Love builds, hate breaks.

08/30/2025

Discussions are always better than arguments. 🌿

Think about it, an argument is about proving a point, about showing who is right. It often comes with raised voices, stubborn hearts, and bruised egos. Arguments tend to divide, because the focus shifts from the truth to the victory.

But a discussion? That’s different. A discussion is about exploring ideas, understanding perspectives, and finding what is right. In discussions, people listen not just to reply, but to truly understand. They share not to defeat, but to contribute.

Arguments close minds.
Discussions open them.

Arguments thrive on pride.
Discussions thrive on respect.

Arguments end with a winner and a loser.
Discussions end with everyone wiser.

Too often, we waste energy arguing when we could be learning. We argue with loved ones, colleagues, even strangers online, forgetting that winning the fight might mean losing the relationship. But when we choose discussion instead, we invite growth, peace, and connection. 🌸

So the next time you disagree with someone, pause for a moment and ask yourself:
👉 “Am I here to win, or am I here to understand?”

If you choose understanding, you’ll find that discussions not only bring solutions, but also bring people closer. And in the end, that matters more than any argument ever could. 💡✨

08/30/2025

“All depression has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in people taking themselves too seriously...Heh! Self-esteem is for sissies. Accept that you’re a pimple and try to keep a lively sense of humor about it. That way lies grace—and maybe even glory.”

~ Tom Robbins

08/25/2025

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Listen to the mustn’ts by Shel Silverstein