
03/11/2025
From Miss Independent ⏩️ a Husband’s Girl
I used to wear my hyper independence like a badge.
A man? Didn’t need one. Those words (“I don’t need a man!”) reverberated my home growing up — like a spell being cast deep in my psyche.
I grew up fearing men, believing they were the source of problems, pain, and had nothing to offer me. At least that was true with most of the men in MY life.
So I learned to do it all myself.
This served me well when I had no choice but to hustle to get what I wanted. When I had no daddy at home to protect me from toxic men. When my life had no safety net.
This hustling, overprotective, hyper masculine version was my best fu***ng friend. She served me well until…
I attracted a man worth trusting.
And every “truth” about love, s*x, life, my body came into question.
It took me full on collapsing to change.
Not a cent in my bank account, depressed for nearly 2 years, paralyzed by anxiety, to realize I had to surrender this old identity.
She brought me here, but this was as far as she taking me.
It was in this rock bottom that my husband held space for me in a way NO ONE ever has. For the first time in my life,
I got to unravel and tend to only ME & simultaneously have an anchor.
It took me years to get to this space…to just let…go. To release my white knuckle grip on life. And when I got there, my husband was ready to hold me.
It all makes sense now.
I could go on and on about how this played such a role in my chronic health issues, my intimacy challenges, but maybe that’s a post for another time.
I’ll just leave it at this:
You may see a happy couple living happily ever after, but I see 2 people who slayed the demons of their past, surrendered their masks, and fought for love.
I see the people we always knew we were emerging into the physical realm and I love all their parts.
Ily
🧿🤍