Jeffrey Young Therapy

05/04/2026

There’s a belief many men hold quietly…  that to be moved by your partner is to be weakened by them. That holding your ground is strength. That accepting influence means losing yourself.

It’s wrong. And it’s quietly costing everyone.

Research by relationship psychologist John Gottman found that when men remain unwilling to share power with their partner, there is an 81% chance the marriage will fail. But beyond the statistics, there’s something even more important: when a woman can’t feel emotionally safe, she doesn’t stop having needs, she just starts carrying them alone.

“A man who resists influence believes he is protecting something- his autonomy, his integrity, his sense of self. What he is actually doing is offloading the cost of that protection onto the person who loves him.”

Accepting your partner’s influence isn’t capitulation. It isn’t losing your voice or your values. It’s something harder and more important than that:

“You are not being asked to become less. You are being asked to become larger.”

The man who can be moved by his partner’s reality isn’t weak-  his convictions are strong enough to survive contact with someone else’s truth.

Open the door. Not because you’ve been defeated. Because you’re ready to discover what’s on the other side.

Read the full post:  link in bio. 🔗

HealthyRelationships MarriageAdvice TheRelationshipPlace Intimacy GrowthMindset

04/30/2026

Sometimes, one hour a week just isn’t enough to move the needle 🛋⏳

Do you feel like you and your partner are caught in a circular argument that
never ends? Maybe you’re navigating the aftermath of a betrayal, or you’ve
simply drifted so far apart that you feel like roommates sharing a mortgage.
When you’re in the thick of it, waiting seven days between sessions can feel
like an eternity.

That is exactly why we created our Private Therapy Getaway Intensives.

Designed for couples who are ready for deep healing and fast progress, our intensives offer:
A Focused Container: 2-3 days of dedicated, one-on-one work without the distractions of daily life.
The Gottman Advantage: We use research-based tools to identify your specific “roadblocks”band provide a roadmap for repair.
Rapid Transformation: Gain months’ worth of therapeutic progress in a single weekend.
Safe Space: A neutral, beautiful environment where both partners can finally feel heard and prioritized.

You don’t have to stay stuck in a cycle of resentment or silence. Our intensives are designed to help you collapse the timeline of your healing and build a foundation that lasts.

Ready to hit the reset button on your relationship? Head to our website to learn more about our intensive options in San Diego.


healingtogether marriagecounseling

01/22/2026

A pattern I see weekly: he says, “She doesn’t want s*x anymore.” She says, “I don’t feel safe with you.”

That gap is where desire goes to die.

In this essay I break down what men often miss about female desire—through Gottman repair, attachment security, and ACT values-based leadership.

Female desire is contextual, attachment-based, and nervous-system driven. Learn what men miss—and how Gottman repair + ACT values restore intimacy.

01/11/2026

10/23/2025

Here are some key takeaways about presence from my latest blog:
⭐️Presence is connection’s oxygen.
⭐️Defensiveness feels protective but erodes intimacy.
⭐️Stonewalling is physiology, not pathology—regulate and return.
⭐️Repair attempts are the heartbeat of lasting love.
⭐️Team mindset > Winning mindset

Learn how to stop defensiveness, stonewalling, and zoning out by practicing presence and attunement. Discover Gottman Method and ACT-based tools to build emotional safety, accept influence, and reconnect as a team with your partner.

08/19/2025

I exist, I am, I am here, I am becoming, I make my own life and no one else makes it for me. I must face my own shortcomings, mistakes, transgressions. No one can suffer my non-being as I do, but tomorrow is another day, and I must decide to leave my bed and live again. And if I fail, I don't have the comfort of blaming you or life or God. ~Leo F. Buscaglia

Book: Living, Loving & Learning https://amzn.to/4mDB9j6

Painting: 'Felicien Rops in his Studio', 1888 by Paul Mathey

08/19/2025

So proud of my partner. You won’t want to miss this!

07/27/2025

The Summer Day
by Mary Oliver (1935-2019)

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean -
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down -
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

About the Author:
Mary Jane Oliver was an American poet who won the National Book Award and the Pulitzer Prize. Her work is inspired by nature, stemming from her lifelong passion for solitary walks in the wild.

🍃🌺🍃

Dear Friends -
I hope you’ll give some thought to Mary Oliver’s provocative question: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” What will you do with today? This one perfect and precious day?
Love
Elizabeth

[Image: Ecstasy (1929) oil painting on canvas by Golden Age artist and illustrator Maxfield Parrish (1870-1966).]

The Smart Witch by Elizabeth

Classic The Smart Witch
Post from 26 July 2021 & 26 July 2023
Updated 26 July 2025

07/27/2025

Im proud to introduce Building Brotherhood, my new men’s group at The Relationship Place.

Men, let's be honest. How long have you been carrying everything yourself? I'm Jeffrey Young, and I want to invite you to something different: Building Broth...

07/06/2025

Stay Curious, my friends!
Curious vs Furious
sdrelationshipplace.com

You go talk to kindergartners or first-grade kids, you find a class full of science enthusiasts. They ask deep questions. They ask, "What is a dream, why do we have toes, why is the moon round, what is the birthday of the world, why is grass green?"
These are profound, important questions. They just bubble right out of them.
You go talk to 12th graders and there's none of that. They've become incurious. Something terrible has happened between kindergarten and 12th grade.

~Carl Sagan, Conversations with Carl Sagan https://amzn.to/45PMmIp [ad]