Laura Carr, LMFT, Center for Mindful Relationships

Laura Carr, LMFT, Center for Mindful Relationships Center for Mindful Relationships offers counseling services for Individuals, Families, Couples, and
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All individuals long for similar things: to feel loved, to be connected, to contribute to life and to receive acknowledgement for those contributions. At CFMR, we work with you to reach a place where you are able to identify what you truly want from life, recognize what obstacles stand in your way and see an opportunity to make different choices in the future. This process can take many forms, som

e of which are best suited for individual, couples, family and group therapy. In an effort to provide an integrated approach to therapy, we also offer additional resources and/or referrals based on the specific needs of the client.

This is a tough one as most of don’t want to suffer, but it’s so familiar that doing what it takes to end suffering….ooo...
12/17/2023

This is a tough one as most of don’t want to suffer, but it’s so familiar that doing what it takes to end suffering….oooh…maybe not today. Maybe tomorrow or next month. Or after the holidays or once the I get my promotion or…

You get the point. We are used to settling. “It’s not that bad. It could be worse.” To end suffering, what is asked of us is to face what causes us to suffer.

When we’ve truly been victims, it’s really hard to not still feel like a victim. “Why do I have to work this hard to deal with the trauma someone else did to me???”

Valid. It’s not fair. You didn’t ask for it. It’s not your fault. And…no one is coming to rescue us. It’s up to you. It’s up to me. It’s up to each one of us to save ourselves. To face what happened to us and see how it gets perpetuated in our current life.

You don’t have to do it alone. I don’t think it’s possible to do by ourselves. Find a good therapist. A spiritually informed therapist or someone well versed in trauma & spiritual transformation (I didn’t say religious). Psychology alone is limited (in my humble opinion).

No matter what…you CAN DO THIS! You matter and you deserve to be free of the effects of trauma. Not sure it ever goes away but that isn’t the point. The point is to be able to stay present to your beauty, your lovability, your humanity, your value WHEN the trauma is activated.

Blessings,
laura






The Real You….learning to see and reconnect with your authentic self…what a journey. Trauma (and plain old socialization...
12/14/2023

The Real You….learning to see and reconnect with your authentic self…what a journey. Trauma (and plain old socialization) requires a person to utilize survival strategies that cover our authenticity. Authenticity is there. And it’s beautiful. You are beautiful!

12/11/2023

If you do not transform your pain, you will transmit it. Richard RohrTo transform is to transcend; and we cannot transce...
11/29/2023

If you do not transform your pain, you will transmit it.
Richard Rohr

To transform is to transcend; and we cannot transcend what we do not encounter.

Guilt creates defensiveness, rationalization & feeds denial. Guilt keeps ego well fed and and out of integrity with our ...
11/21/2023

Guilt creates defensiveness, rationalization & feeds denial. Guilt keeps ego well fed and and out of integrity with our authentic values. This doesn’t absolve us from responsibility. Just the opposite. When we are present we can be open. When we are listening, we can respond from the heart rather than ego.





Not all ⛈️ storms come to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path. Paul Coehlo
11/15/2023

Not all ⛈️ storms come to disrupt your life. Some come to clear your path. Paul Coehlo

11/11/2023

The Guest Houseby Jalaluddin RumiThis being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.A joy, a depression, a m...
07/13/2023

The Guest House
by Jalaluddin Rumi

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Glad you are Here!✨
laura 💜



























As relational beings, we seek connection. Trauma interferes with creating & sustaining healthy connection. To have healt...
07/06/2023

As relational beings, we seek connection. Trauma interferes with creating & sustaining healthy connection. To have healthy connection, we must heal the trauma.

Trauma healing is a bitch. It is hard and arduous work and requires a lifetime commitment. You are worth it.

Happy you are Here! ✨
laura 💜



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💥 Happy July 4th 💥
07/05/2023

💥 Happy July 4th 💥

Look for the Good- Jason Mraz song lyricsHave you listened to this song? Let yourself take in the lyrics - and start by ...
07/05/2023

Look for the Good
- Jason Mraz song lyrics

Have you listened to this song? Let yourself take in the lyrics - and start by ‘looking for the good’ within you.

What songs lift you up?

Glad you are Here! ✨

Blessings,
laura 💜



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💥Happy 4th of July 💥
07/05/2023

💥Happy 4th of July 💥

YOU MATTEREvery flower is a soul blossoming in nature.- Gerard De NervalNature is a guide for us, always. Can you see th...
06/29/2023

YOU MATTER

Every flower is a soul blossoming in nature.
- Gerard De Nerval

Nature is a guide for us, always. Can you see the beauty in nature? Then that beauty resides in you. You can’t see what you don’t know.

When you’re having a hard time seeing the beauty within you, look for the beauty around you. Turn towards nature to guide you back to beauty.

Glad you are Here ✨
laura 💜



























Comparison is the thief of joy. -original author unknownThere are other “thieves of joy” such as:- Worry- Urgency- Judge...
06/21/2023

Comparison is the thief of joy.
-original author unknown

There are other “thieves of joy” such as:
- Worry
- Urgency
- Judgement
- Self-hate
- Fear
- shame

Anything that takes you out of the moment and sends a message of “something wrong/not enough” is a thief of joy.

What would you add to this list?

Glad you are Here! ✨
laura 💜



























Benefits of Being Playful✔️ Relaxing✔️ Connecting✔️ Grounding ✔️ EnergizingThese are just a few of the benefits of play....
06/15/2023

Benefits of Being Playful
✔️ Relaxing
✔️ Connecting
✔️ Grounding
✔️ Energizing

These are just a few of the benefits of play. As we move into pre-adolescence the safety of play begins to diminish. The impact of socialization starts taking hold creating self-conscious & competitiveness. There are now standards and social status to consider. Even when this is unconscious; very quickly play becomes risky and thereby diminishes.

It’s no wonder we are vulnerable to things like drugs, and alcohol to give us permission to be playful again. This is not a statement specifically about drugs or alcohol only about the inability to access play as adults.

Let’s revisit the spirit of play and be curious about our relationship to play.

- What is your first playful memory?
- Are there rules to play? What are those rules?
- Do you remember the last time play felt free?
- In private, is play easier or harder to engage in?
- When does self-consciousness come in?
- Do you try and prove yourself?
- Does comparison kick in?
- Did play ever feel unsafe?
- What makes play feel safe?
- When is the last time you played (without intoxication)? What was that like?
- If intoxication (of any kind) feels necessary, what does it provide?

Encouragement: Given what you have seen in your exploration, engage in play again and pay attention to how these awarenesses can assist you in your relationship to play. Don’t try and change anything, just notice.

Enjoy the exploration.
Glad you are Here! ✨
laura 💜



























It’s okay to learn. Notice what arises for you when you read these words. - agreement?- Rebuttal?- Snicker?- Judgement?-...
06/14/2023

It’s okay to learn.

Notice what arises for you when you read these words.

- agreement?
- Rebuttal?
- Snicker?
- Judgement?
- Wishful?
- -confused?
- Encouraging?

The messages we receive about learning inform our ability to be vulnerable. If learning feels risky then you can’t be vulnerable. If you can’t be vulnerable, you can’t learn. If you can’t learn, you stay exactly where you are.

What do you see about your relationship to learning?

Enjoy the exploration.
Glad you are Here! ✨

laura 💜

Rest is crucial to health & well-being. Rest makes time for quiet & prioritizes the internal. You can start with just a ...
06/07/2023

Rest is crucial to health & well-being. Rest makes time for quiet & prioritizes the internal. You can start with just a few minutes each day.

Even 60-seconds. Do you know that feels impossible for some folks? That folk could be you!! It’s okay! Start where you are and notice.

Glad you are Here! ✨
You matter!

laura 💜



























2022 CFMR Group Final group with this fabulous cohort (minus 3 members). These amazing humans completed their Master’s p...
06/03/2023

2022 CFMR Group

Final group with this fabulous cohort (minus 3 members). These amazing humans completed their Master’s practicum which include intense training. They are a group that embodies open-mindedness, kindness, creativity, passion, intelligence, dedication, sincerity, courage & compassion.

We are blessed to be part of their journey to licensure as psychotherapists.

*our youngest training therapist to date! 😍
























#2022
#2023




It's Pride Month - Let’s celebrate! We celebrate our LGBTQIA+ community. 💙💛🖤🩵🤍🧡💚🤎🩷❤️You matter!The CFMR Team            ...
06/02/2023

It's Pride Month - Let’s celebrate!

We celebrate our LGBTQIA+ community.
💙💛🖤🩵🤍🧡💚🤎🩷❤️

You matter!
The CFMR Team











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”Nice” is scripted by societal standards and often requires self-abandonment; whereas kind is informed by presence, attu...
05/30/2023

”Nice” is scripted by societal standards and often requires self-abandonment; whereas kind is informed by presence, attuned to the divine (whatever you consider that to be), is compassionate to all (though all rarely agrees) and is appropriate to the moment. It is not always considered “nice.”

How do you tell the difference between “nice” and kind?

Glad you are Here! 💜🌟💜
laura



























You are a legend Tina Turner. Thank you for everything.                   #
05/26/2023

You are a legend Tina Turner. Thank you for everything. #

A series on parenting, healthy communication with our children & self care!Mental Wellness for Moms
05/20/2023

A series on parenting, healthy communication with our children & self care!
Mental Wellness for Moms

Self-care for when you’re having relationship issues:
• Therapy- individual, couples or family
• Meditation- quiet or guided
• Mindfulness- focus on being present by focusing on your five senses, being where your feet are, being in this moment
• Exercise- move your body daily- go for a walk, do some yoga poses, go to the gym, stretch, etc.
• Go outside and focus on the beauty all around you
• Journal- to help you process what’s going on in your relationship/ how you’re truly feeling about it all. For privacy, use an app or tear up/shred what you wrote.
• Spend time with a beloved pet who loves you unconditionally
• Learning about your dynamics that are activated and contributing to the struggles

What else would you add that helps you when you’re having relationship struggles?💞

💜 Heidi & Laura
Mental Wellness for Moms
Laura Carr, LMFT, Center for Mindful Relationships

Common relationship struggles. Mental Wellness for Moms
05/16/2023

Common relationship struggles. Mental Wellness for Moms

Let’s start this series with some common relationship struggles (both big and small):
• Emotional disconnection
• Heightened anger
• Emotional dysregulation and reactivity
• A breach in trust, including affairs
• Feeling disrespected by your partner
• One person growing and changing, and the other digging in/wanting to keep things the same
• Not getting your needs met in the relationship/your partner not having your best interest at heart
• Not feeling seen, heard or understood by your partner
• A lack of empathy, caring, compassion and support in your relationship
• Lack of physical or emotional attraction
• Trauma from childhood or past relationships
• Different perspectives/approaches (money, s*x, parenting, chores, religion/spirituality, extended family)
• S*x – one wants it more, one wants it less, don’t feel safe talking about it

What else would you add to this list?💞

💜 Heidi & Laura
Mental Wellness for Moms
Laura Carr, LMFT, Center for Mindful Relationships

Excited to be collaborating with Heidi at Mental Wellness for Moms 💛💛
05/15/2023

Excited to be collaborating with Heidi at Mental Wellness for Moms 💛💛

I’m back this week with another collaboration with my friend and colleague, Laura Carr .relationships on How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Relationships Struggles.
Here’s what the week looks like:
Tomorrow/Tuesday: Common relationship struggles
Thursday: How to discuss relationship problems with your kids
Saturday: Self-care for when you’re having relationship issues

We look forward to connecting more with you all this week!💞

💜 Heidi & Laura
Mental Wellness for Moms
Laura Carr, LMFT, Center for Mindful Relationships

We are born in relationship, we are wounded in relationship, and we can be healed in relationship. - Harville HendrixI l...
05/15/2023

We are born in relationship, we are wounded in relationship, and we can be healed in relationship.
- Harville Hendrix

I love Imago Therapy - which is a couples therapy approach co-created by Helent Hunt & Harville Hendrix. This quote sparks a “yes and” for me.

In relationships, healing cannot happen alone, but it also cannot be dependent on the other. When we look externally for the healing, superficial healing can happen, but core injury will remain because my “okayness” is now contingent on the external.

One has to work towards that internal healing. One of the most powerful honors I have as a therapist is to hold the hearts of clients until they can begin to do that for themselves. The therapist does not own or get to dictate the client’s value. Good therapy reflects the authenticity of the client because a good therapist never loses sight of the client’s authenticity.

In the safety of that relationship, hard things can be explored. When hard things occur the intra-relationship (client with their own authenticity) breaks down and relies on the strength of the inter-relationship with the therapist. In the safety of that relationship, the relationship with themself (to their own authenticity) grows.

Can this happen outside of therapy? Of course, but it is oh so much harder because people’s rounding get in the way. In good therapy with good therapists, the boundaries of the relationship create protection.

It is my wish for everyone that they have a safe and strong relationship in order to heal the primary relationship, which is with themselves (with their authenticity).

I’m glad you’re Here.
laura 💜



























“Relishing the unknown” is a challenge for most of us socialized humans. We are habituated to future-tripping (as one of...
05/04/2023

“Relishing the unknown” is a challenge for most of us socialized humans. We are habituated to future-tripping (as one of my clients like to say) or dwelling in the past. The exhilaration of being Here, in the moment, is missed. It is my experience that we don’t know HOW to be in the moment. Socialization teaches us to be uncomfortable with emotions, which is innately human. Add in a punishing orientation and the wiring for survival and we are primed for avoidance.

Can you imagine “relishing the unknown?” What would it take to practice presence beyond skill?
- liking who we are
- Feeling safe in our bodies
- Feeling safe in our environment

Checkout out these audiobooks offered free of charge by Zen student and teacher, Cheri Huber. Currently listening to The Fear book. Powerful.

https://www.livingcompassion.org/audio-books

In lovingkindness,
laura 💜

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Address

2333 1st Avenue, Ste 203
San Diego, CA
92101

Opening Hours

Monday 8am - 7pm
Tuesday 8am - 7pm
Wednesday 8am - 7pm
Thursday 8am - 7pm
Friday 8am - 3pm
Saturday 9am - 1pm

Telephone

+16193541005

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All individuals long for similar things: to feel loved, to be connected, to contribute to life and to receive acknowledgement for those contributions. At CFMR, we work to help you identify what is blocking you from the experience of joy, compassion, freedom, excitement, wisdom. This process can take many forms, some of which are best suited for individual, couples, family and group therapy. In an effort to provide an integrated approach to therapy, we also offer additional resources and/or referrals based on the specific needs of the client.



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