Monster Longe

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Coming to grips with your own mortality is tough. It just hits you that some day you’re going to die and will eventually...
08/01/2025

Coming to grips with your own mortality is tough. It just hits you that some day you’re going to die and will eventually be forgotten.

The farmer’s carry, also known as a farmer’s walk, can’t exactly help with that problem but it can help with a different grip issue!

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Maybe people will stop making fun of you in the gym now…maybe not.

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘰𝘯 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘯𝘰𝘢?!?!, you ask incredulously.⁣⁣⁣Good question!After all, quinoa is actually...
07/28/2025

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘰𝘯 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘯𝘰𝘢?!?!, you ask incredulously.⁣⁣⁣

Good question!

After all, quinoa is actually a seed from the same family as beets, Swiss chard, and spinach, all of which are yucky in their own right.

Quinoa = 🤮⁣⁣⁣

But here's the thing…

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Nutrition food facts for thought.

Are you a dude? A dude with whom a prepubescent girl has more chest development than?Well, I’m here to tell you that a s...
07/22/2025

Are you a dude? A dude with whom a prepubescent girl has more chest development than?

Well, I’m here to tell you that a small chest doesn’t make you any less of a woman, buddy. These are progressive times we’re living in. Self-love and body acceptance, mo********er!

Buuuuuuttttt if you’re not quite ready to take your seat at the head of the Itty Bitty T***y Committee, this handy-dandy guide will show you how to build chest muscles.

Now, let’s go ahead and slap some boobage on ya!

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Totally unsolicited training advice.

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘰𝘯 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴?!?!, you ask incredulously.⁣⁣⁣Good question!Onions = 🤮⁣Not only do onions...
07/18/2025

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘰𝘯 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴?!?!, you ask incredulously.⁣⁣⁣

Good question!

Onions = 🤮⁣

Not only do onions contribute to bad breath but they also contain a type of carbohydrate called fructan, which ferments in the stomach and can cause digestive issues like gas. Both of those things certainly don’t make you more pleasant for people to be around!

So yeah, 🤮 to onions!!!

But here’s the thing…

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Nutrition food facts for thought.

Know what's bad?Yeah, cardio!Sure, cardio has its benefits, such as strengthening the heart, improving blood circulation...
07/10/2025

Know what's bad?

Yeah, cardio!

Sure, cardio has its benefits, such as strengthening the heart, improving blood circulation for clearer skin, decreasing the chances of limp dick in men, and raising and sustaining levels of an enzyme in women that increases blood flow to their lady bits and enhances arousal for better or***ms. With all of that said though, cardio 𝗕𝗟𝗢𝗪𝗦!!!

Anyway, know what's even badder than cardio?

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A Monster Mini (as in a mini article, not a mini other thing, you perv).

What is intermittent fasting?You could have easily asked a chatbot that question but you apparently didn’t since you’re ...
07/08/2025

What is intermittent fasting?

You could have easily asked a chatbot that question but you apparently didn’t since you’re here, so I should probably show thanks by doing some work and answering that question.

Sigh…

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Learn about a (not) diet you were going to do before learning about it.

The bench press primarily works the pectoralis major, which is the largest muscle of the chest, as well as the anterior ...
07/07/2025

The bench press primarily works the pectoralis major, which is the largest muscle of the chest, as well as the anterior deltoids of the shoulders and the triceps, which are located in the back of the upper arm.

As for the ex*****on, what's there to say really?

All you do is lie on a flat weight training bench under a barbell and move the weight up and down a few times.

Simple!

However, while true that the bench press is as basic as it was just described, it's not so easy to perform because it's one of the most commonly butchered exercises in the gym, which leads to poor results, if not immediate or eventual injury.

So what's someone supposed to do for a stronger and bigger chest, of which the bench press is one of the best exercises for?

Well, it might be a good idea to start with the following instructions that detail how to bench press properly.

That's just a guess, though!

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Maybe people will stop making fun of you in the gym now…maybe not.

One of a number of self-massaging tools, a foam roller is a tube of foam that comes in various densities, textures, and ...
07/04/2025

One of a number of self-massaging tools, a foam roller is a tube of foam that comes in various densities, textures, and sizes that you use to roll around on the floor of a crowded free weight area for more time than is spent doing an actual workout.

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Become equipped with knowledge about gym equipment.

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘰𝘯 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘴?!?!, you ask incredulously.⁣⁣⁣Good question!⁣⁣⁣Figs = 🤮⁣⁣⁣But here’s the th...
07/02/2025

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘰𝘯 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘴?!?!, you ask incredulously.⁣⁣⁣

Good question!⁣⁣⁣

Figs = 🤮⁣⁣⁣

But here’s the thing…

Read Now

Nutrition food facts for thought.

The difference between standing dumbbell curls and seated dumbbell curls?Well, one is performed standing and the other i...
06/28/2025

The difference between standing dumbbell curls and seated dumbbell curls?

Well, one is performed standing and the other is performed seated.

𝗗𝗨𝗛!!!

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Maybe people will stop making fun of you in the gym now…maybe not.

Have you gone commando?The fact that everyone can see your c**k and balls swaying all over the place suggests that you h...
05/29/2025

Have you gone commando?

The fact that everyone can see your c**k and balls swaying all over the place suggests that you have!

Working out without underwear, like you apparently love to do, is certainly one way to go commando in the gym but it’s not the only way. Another way to go commando is with your rows.

Performed in a plank position, commando rows are an exercise that you should probably add to your routine, if they aren’t already a part of it.

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Maybe people will stop making fun of you in the gym now…maybe not.

If you don’t already hate your life, there’s an exercise that’s sure to help you succeed at that.And that exercise is…?!...
05/01/2025

If you don’t already hate your life, there’s an exercise that’s sure to help you succeed at that.

And that exercise is…?!?!

*drum roll*

Yup, it’s none other than the Bulgarian split squat!

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Maybe people will stop making fun of you in the gym now…maybe not.

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