Leah Aguirre, LCSW

02/23/2026

If you’ve caught yourself saying these things, I want you to pause for a second.

Not to judge yourself.
Not to spiral.
Just to get honest.

Emotional abuse is rarely obvious in the beginning. It doesn’t usually start with something dramatic. It starts subtly with doubt and confusion. With you slowly questioning your own reactions more than the behavior that hurt you.

You start saying things like:
“I’m probably overreacting.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“If I just communicate better…”
“I just need to try harder.”

And before you know it, you’re working overtime to fix something that was never yours to fix.

In Is This Really Love?, I talk about how emotional abuse erodes self-trust first. It makes you second-guess your intuition. It convinces you that your discomfort is the problem instead of the dynamic.

If you’re constantly anxious, constantly explaining yourself, constantly trying to get back to the “good version” of them — that’s not peace. That’s your nervous system surviving inconsistency.

Healthy love does not require you to shrink, perform, or self-abandon.

If you’re ready for clarity, my book walks you through how to separate attachment from actual emotional safety step by step.

Comment “BOOK” and I’ll send you the link.

02/21/2026

Emphasis on “I actually like him.”

The difference between my abusive relationship and my healthy relationship is that I don’t have to “earn” their love or feel like I’m walking on eggshells constantly.

Healthy love is…

• Feeling safe to be fully yourself
• Disagreeing without fearing punishment or withdrawal
• Being able to say “that hurt me” and being met with care
• Not having to over-explain your needs
• Not shrinking to keep the peace
• Liking who you are when you’re with them

Healthy love doesn’t feel like confusion.
It doesn’t feel like anxiety.
It doesn’t feel like constantly trying to prove your worth.

It feels steady.
It feels safe.
It feels like you can exhale.

And maybe most surprisingly… it feels calm.

If you’ve only known love that felt intense, chaotic, or hard to hold onto, calm can feel unfamiliar at first and that’s okay.

If this resonates, tell me in the comments: what’s one word you’d use to describe healthy love? ⬇️⬇️

02/19/2026

There comes a point in healing where you stop explaining and you start closing doors.

Because your nervous system is tired.
Because you’re done changing everything about yourself to try to please them.

Here’s what we’re not tolerating anymore:
• Being treated like an object instead of a person.
• Being the scapegoat for their anger and reactivity.
• Walking on eggshells to keep the peace.
• Constantly self-monitoring to avoid conflict.
• Shrinking yourself to manage someone else’s emotions.
• Living in hypervigilance instead of safety.

Not anymore.

Closing the door on these things is the first step in choosing yourself and a love that is healthy.

Tell me in the comments ↓
What are you closing the door on?

02/17/2026

Hard truth: if it hurts you consistently, it’s not love.

Emotional abuse, doesn’t always look loud.

Sometimes it looks like confusion, self-doubt, walking on eggshells.

You’re not “too sensitive”
You’re responding to instability

As hard as they can be to hear, these truths are something to pay attention to.

02/16/2026

Not all emotional abuse looks obvious.

That’s why so many intelligent, self-aware, capable people miss it.

It’s disguised as:
• “communication problems”
• “just joking”
• “chemistry”
• “passion”
• “normal relationship conflict”

But chronic confusion, gaslighting, love bombing, emotional minimization, and walking on eggshells are not normal relationship patterns.

They are signs of emotional abuse.

If you’ve been Googling:
“Is this emotional abuse?”
“Why do I feel anxious in my relationship?”
“Why do I feel crazy after arguments?”

You are not alone and you’re not being dramatic.

My book, Is This Really Love? breaks down these exact cycles from how they form, why they’re addictive, and how to stop abandoning yourself inside them.

If you’re ready for clarity instead of confusion,
grab your copy through the link in my bio.

02/14/2026

If Valentine’s Day feels heavy, you’re not alone.

When healing after an emotionally abusive relationship, days centered on love can stir up grief, confusion, longing, or self-doubt.

That doesn’t mean you miss the relationship, it often means your system is still processing the impact of emotional abuse and attachment.

The reminders and care tips shared here aren’t about pushing feelings away. They’re about meeting yourself with compassion while you untangle a trauma bond and relearn what emotional safety feels like.

If this resonates and you would like support with no contact during this holiday, comment KIT for my no contact survival kit.

02/13/2026

Love or emotional abuse? Take this relationship self-assessment for some clarity.

This isn’t about labeling your relationship for you.
It’s about helping you pause and notice patterns.

Love should feel safe.
Love should feel study.
It should not leave you constantly questioning your worth or your reality.

Be honest with yourself. This is not about shame, it’s just awareness.

Awareness is where healing starts.

Comment BOOK if you want to dive into this more through my book, Is This Really Love? ❤️

02/12/2026

Valentine’s Day doesn’t magically turn emotional abuse into love.

Dinner reservations don’t erase disrespect.
Grand gestures don’t undo patterns.
Flowers don’t fix gaslighting.

If you’re feeling confused because “it was so sweet what they did for Valentine’s Day”…. pause

Abuse mixed with affection is still abuse.

You’re not crazy for noticing the contradiction and you’re not ungrateful for wanting consistency instead of chaos year round.

Real love doesn’t require you to ignore harm.

Remember, healthy love doesn’t just show up on a holiday. ❤️‍🩹

02/12/2026

Choosing yourself counts as love too.

It’s actually the best happily-ever-after.

Especially if you’ve been in an emotionally abusive relationship, where love often meant self abandonment, confusion, or constantly questioning yourself.

Choosing distance, rest, or peace can be unfamiliar (even uncomfortable) after emotional abuse.

That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.
It means you’re learning a different definition of love.

For many people, untangling a trauma bond with an emotionally abusive partner is a corrective process, not selfish!

02/06/2026

One of the most destabilizing parts of emotional abuse is the inconsistency.

Affection followed by distance.
Repair followed by hurt.
Moments of closeness that make you question the pain that came before.

This is mind f**kery at its finest.

That back-and-forth isn’t accidental, it’s often what creates a trauma bond. Your system keeps searching for the version of the emotionally abusive partner you saw in the beginning, even as the dynamic becomes more confusing and harmful.

If you’ve ever felt like you were losing your grip on reality in a relationship, there’s a reason for that. Emotional abuse doesn’t just hurt, it disorients.

10/23/2025

Honored to be featured in Women's Health discussing why single women are thriving in 2025.

In the piece, I shared what I’m seeing clinically and in coaching:

Many women today feel overwhelmed by surface-level dating culture — swiping fatigue, misaligned values, and emotional unavailability are common themes.

But this isn’t a story of hopelessness. It’s one of empowerment.

More women are realizing that being single isn’t a problem to fix — it’s an opportunity for self-discovery, healing, and wholeness.

We’re witnessing a cultural shift: women choosing relationships that are mutual, emotionally safe, and aligned, rather than settling for connection that costs them their peace.

It’s a privilege to help women heal attachment wounds, reclaim their sense of self, and date from a place of clarity and self-worth — whether through therapy or coaching.

📰 Read the full article: “Single Women Are Thriving in 2025” by Amy Wilkinson for Women’s Health

One of the fastest-growing demographics in the U.S., solo rollers have a thing or two to teach everyone about happiness.

10/22/2025

With Molina Healthcare – I just made it onto their weekly engagement list by being one of their top engagers—but this is because I have not been paid.

I’m sharing this publicly because I’ve exhausted every private channel with no resolution.

This is now my fifth attempt to get paid for services rendered under a valid Letter of Agreement (LOA) with Molina Healthcare — and it’s been over 18 months without payment. These claims cover client sessions throughout all 2024, and I have resubmitted them six times.

Since then, I’ve sent multiple follow-up emails and tried calling, but I’ve received no response, no update, and no accountability. This ongoing silence is not only unprofessional — it’s unacceptable.

Because of these delays, I was forced to pause services for a client who depended on this coverage. That client ultimately had to switch insurance panels just to continue therapy. This isn’t just about a provider not getting paid — it’s about how administrative negligence becomes a direct barrier to mental health access.

At this point, I’m not asking for another email or vague assurance. I’m asking to be connected with someone who can actually address and resolve this issue. I’m also requesting information about Molina’s formal complaint and escalation process so I can proceed through proper channels.