Samantha Elisabetta Tomarchio, LMFT

06/27/2023

Let me introduce to you la mia sorella, Siciliana Regina Bridgetta Tomarchio.

She’s Misses PR Queen, with her own woman run and owned company who turned her 20 year career in the entertainment industry, from working on Dawson’s Creek in North Carolina, to feature films in Los Angeles with close connects to folks like Val Kilmer and Dave Duchovny.

Why does this matter? Because she knows the industry inside out. She knows what it takes to get your foot in the door and she knows what it takes to align your spirit as a thought leader, author of your story and purpose, to up-level your business and center your talent with high vibe intention.

Her tenacity sets her up to achieve everything she sets out to accomplish.

If you’ve ever thought about writing your story, your intentions and purpose into words on paper that could potentially get your foot in the door and position you in your field as an expert - she’s your woman.

Bridgetta is hosting a FREE webinar master class about how to start writing your book and get it published.

Trust me when I share this not only as her sister, but as a woman in business myself, Bridgetta has up leveled me significantly in challenging my growth potential by putting myself out there in ways I never thought possible. I’ve spoken at conferences internationally and been on podcasts and positioned myself with major players in the field because of her. You share your vision, she expands it, and with collaborative effort she helps you get there.

My new website her team has created for me is coming soon, and let me tell you, it’s a s*xy banger. All pun intended.

RSVP: bridgetta.com
When: 6/28/23 @ 9amPST/12EST

DM her for dets or deeper inquiries

📸
Jewels 💎 Jimi Designs Jimi Merk

*xtherapy

06/21/2023

☀️ Happy Summer Solstice ☀️

My Summer theme: how can I stay connected to myself in the midst of excitement and adventure?

This is a time of reminding myself that it’s okay to have slowness, even as desires for movement and mixing up the routines are on high drive.

As I’ve been planning my annual Sicilian Summer, I’ve been asking myself the question, “What do I notice in my body” through the planning, in the work mode movement of getting what I need done to manifest the trip of my desires, and what can I do to come back to myself and truly assess what I’m needing when I feel overwhelmed, nervous, and anxious?

Slowing down, placing my feet on the ground, closing my eyes, and connecting back to a simple breath is all I need to reset and center back to my core. It’s from there the intuition of discernment is accessible.

Wishing you all deep connection to yourselves as we bring gratitude to sun and longer days in our Northern Hemisphere ☀️ 🌊

*xtherapist *xtherapy

06/15/2023

✨It’s been a while since I’ve introduced myself and shared a bit about who I am & what arouses me in life, on this platform ✨

I’m Samantha Elisabetta Tomarchio. I use she/her/they pronouns. I’m a prideful Siciliana-Americanita from the East Coast, who’s found sanctuary in San Francisco for the last 8 years. I’m a cis, q***r, femme, who’s able bodied, neurodivergent, and a complete relational s*x geek.

I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist that specializes in s*xual trauma and all things related to S*x & Relational Therapy. I’m an adjunct psychology professor, academic, workshop facilitator, artist, athlete, and a community web weaver who has an absolute obsession with all beings Scaled, Winged, and Feathered. I’m a Piscean, Gemini, Scorpio for all you western astro folks with an archetype equating to that of a MermaidBird.

I actively maintain relationship and community base in my ancestral origin lands of Sicilia, Italia, in which I’ve been progressively spending my summers and working bi-continentially.

I was raised as a third generation, in a Sicilian-Italian-American household which collectivism & entrepreneurial values were instilled at an early age by la mia famiglia.

I have an unwavering passion and dedication for the nuance of human s*xuality and intersectional approaches to human hood that is attachment based and somatically oriented in my approach to psychotherapy. I hold my work through the lens of cultural humility with a deeply relational frame that considers culture at the collective, familial, and personal levels. I proudly work with those along the LGBTQIA+spectrum of all s*xual orientations, racial and ethnic backgrounds, and diverse relationship models from mono-poly+, and I celebrate s*x workers.

I invite you into connection with me!

Feel free to DM me to connect, collaborate, consult, inquire about working with me, or just say Ciao!

Grazie mille famiglia!

Molto amo,

Samanta Elisabetta

📸 by sorella photo queen

*xtherapy *xtherapist *xgeek

03/09/2023

Happy International Womens Day to all the strong, deviant, non conforming, intellectual, innovative, and authentic badass, tender, boss babes out there.

It’s those beautiful womxn in my life that I am the strongest and most authentic I have ever felt. My circle of ladies who raised me, both blood and chosen, and to those non conforming babes I continue to gather as la mia famiglia, I’m eternally grateful for you. It’s because of you I am who I am today.

Oh and please remember:

Trans women are real women
Femmes can also be thems
Reproductive rights are human rights

***rs*xtherapy

03/07/2023

3.3.23.

Birthday Reflections

I had a dream nights ago I had a fish tail.

I was in a room, aesthetic unknown, just felt sensations with an image.

Strong, muscular, iridescent, with flakey scales to touch.

In the dream, I just observed this part of myself in complete silence. I witnessed the utter profundity that my legs had alchemized into this wet and slimy, thick and mighty, translucent tail I was incredibly proud of.

Cliche as this may be for a Piscean femme, who has believed herself an archetypal mermaid bird, regardless, it felt revelatory.

Reflecting on my life, I have never felt more alive than right now. I have never felt more connected with my emotional depth and myriad simultaneous feelings than I do today.

The complex PTSD, the s*xual trauma, the healing journey, the heartbreak, the disappointment, the waiting, the patience, the shattering, the impermanence of life.
My relationships as mirror image of Self.

That we will, and everyone you know will meet Death and dissolve back into compost. Bless our ancestors and those who left us too soon.

That we are all manifestations of S*x. Some through or**sm and with love, some out of duty, out of force, some killed in femmecide. Justice for survivors and accountability for transgressors.

This life. Inescapable beauty held up by a dream. Blessed am I to have the privilege to celebrate it. With tears, laughter, heartbreak, heart filled pleasures and bliss, - held in beauty, in absolutely nothing, floating spaciousness. In absolutely everything, enveloped Love.

In Adviata, a shattering of the dream we’ll die to, only to wake up, a dissolving into Self.

It all starts in the Water.

Come swim emotional depths of the abyss. The only thing keeping you from swimming is your fear.

Let it go.

Bless you.

This is 33.

03/03/2023

What would I tell her?

If I could could speak with her then, in current time?

To the one who always did what she could to uplift those around her, to the one who always made the peace, to the one who quickly observed and learned through witnessing how to navigate hard situations.

To the little one who had so many feels and great emotional depths that isolated her and kept her in sadness she would cover with a smile to provoke laughter from those she felt were hurting more deeply than her.

To the outgoing adhd child, that no one assessed for trauma but only assumed a natural conversationalist that would make friends with anyone from anywhere. Who was often “too rambunctious” for other families to consider as having a guest. The “loud Sicilian girl” who was too hairy with family who “must be in the mob” as they dressed nice and drove black cars.

I’d tell her it gets easier. I’d tell her you will move through life with the deepest curiosity that can make surface based relationships hard for you. That you will continue to mine for those who meet you, on the deepest level you never thought possible. That you will lead your family by example in continuing choosing you and valuing your emotional depth and curiosity. That you will no longer feel like you are drowning. That you will learn how to swim faster and stronger than you have ever imagined. You will be deeply understood and met by relationships you’ve deepened and are most profoundly held by. But by you, first. You will fall in love with you, first. It takes time, but you get there.

You fall in love with you so deeply that you continue to meet those who are dedicated to meeting the same within themselves.
You fall in love with not the idea of love anymore sweetheart, but with Love itself. You will be everything you imagined.

buon compleanno, dolce bellezza siciliana 🌹 💗🌊🧜🏼‍♀️✨

01/18/2023

Italia mia, hai il mio cuore e la mia anima ♥️🤌🏽 🇮🇹

🇮🇹

01/06/2023

Viva, viva la Befana!

My teacher told us a story about Befana last night.

I’ve known of Befana, la Strega, one of the last Pagan rituals to be honored in Italy under Catholicism.

Befana was an elder woman, she was kind of a grump. Though, it was her, not the three wise men that were supposed to find Jesus. Of course, for various different reasons, she didn’t go to find baby Jesus. Perhaps the patriarchy wouldn’t like that very much so she was left out of the story.

Anyways, her medicine is to bring blessings and delight to children. Gifts if your good, coal if you’re bad. Simple as that.

I love how she is depicted, actually. You don’t often hear of these feminine stories existing under Catholicism. And this one has prevailed for centuries.

Viva, viva la Befana!

🇮🇹

01/02/2023

Buon Anno 🎊

Last year brought me into the deepest contemplations I have ever experienced.
What does it mean to live in this body?
To challenge the story I know so well, that I call my life as Samantha?
To be a daughter?
To be a student, a clinician, a lover, a partner, a teacher, a friend?
What is it to know silence?
What is it to truly know, feel, and meet silence within myself? To meet life as a moving meditation that is not attached to the stories we’ve been conditioned.

Our stories make up who we are and have shaped our identity. Part of the work I do with clients is delving deep into understanding the creation of these stories. What has shaped our beliefs about ourselves, about our body, our mind, about s*x and s*xuality, about how we show up in relationship to all things? Is it authentic to us, or is it what we’ve been conditioned? Oftentimes, that is difficult to discern: conditioning vs insecure attachment vs authenticity. It’s quite the inquiry.

To sit in stillness is to be with this inquiry.
To truly know, we must remain connected to the body through sensation. To be with our deepest, repressed emotions and feelings our bodies have accumulated throughout our lives helps us understand what is fear and what is authentic. And this means we get uncomfortable. It means we sit in the sensation of our pain, not in our story, so we actually feel it in the body. This is what it means to move through it and let it dissolve. This is the most challenging practice I’ve grown to appreciate more than anything I have ever learned in my life.

This is Ta**ra.

It’s been a very challenging year for la mia famiglia. Staying with the pain, and not running from it by distracting, repressing, avoiding , etc. has been my greatest take away from 2022. Choosing to be on meditation retreat in the mother land has brought me home.

I am in deepest gratitude for my practice, my teacher, my mentors, and beloveds that have guided me through this past year.

Blessings to everyone from my Retreat space the Italian countryside!

Wishing everyone an authentic and purposeful 2023!

**ra

09/04/2022

Let it All Rise
Be mindful of attachment
To the stories of the mind
That keep you stuck,
Bound
To the Ego.
Let it all Rise
Without interpretation,
Sensation
Vertical movement
Up your spine
Like a snake winding up a tree..

Advita Ta**ra Retreat. I fell in love with you all. Thank you for holding me, Italy, ancestral lands, community. What a healing gift.

Grazie mile for holding and facilitating this opening. How special, to be welcomed into your, our community in these sacred ways.

Grazie 🙏🏽🙇🏻‍♀️♥️🐍

**ra **ra

07/14/2022

Full Moon in Capricorn 🌕

Moon Meme messages for you all:

Self care is health care.

Create the spaciousness you need to come back to your center.

Prioritize the listening, the discernment needed to understand thought / anxiety from intuition.

Give your nervous system a break to rest and digest.

*xtherapy

06/25/2022

This is not political. This is personal.

This is a violent and invasive act on my body and people with a uterus.

My body feels the threat response. My body is activated, angry, and unwilling. My body feels second class, without a voice, without meaning beyond patriarchal oppression.
My body has done so much work to be heard, seen, and boundaried. My body has worked hard to have its voice.

I imagine myself as a 16 year old, young woman of color living in Georgia, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, the list keeps growing.

I imagine being so afraid and shameful of my body already, given there being no safe place or education to understand it’s power.

Now, there is legislation against my body. For the internalized messaging I receive: if I seek pleasure, there is a chance I could be prosecuted.

What is a democracy that doesn’t value its women and it’s people who have the ability to carry life? How is this democracy at all?

Forced labor after r**e - when a child accidentally becomes pregnant - when a fetus cannot be carried to term due to complications - when a mother / caregiver cannot financially provide for this child and is therefore forced into poverty by a country that will not support nor care for them?

I cried today on my way home from work, alone in my car. I cried for this young woman I imagined. I cried because she is not free, but a slave to the system of white patriarchal supremacy. Even still. In 2022.

*xtherapist

06/23/2022

For all that has known my career path, it has been a long, dedicated, and highly passionate one.

Three years of psychology graduate school, then another three years accruing 3,000+ clinical hours as an interning psychotherapist. Some of those years working for free and with minimal pay.

Though the last two years, I’ve developed and expanded my private practice and have taken and completed additional credentials in specializations in trauma, s*x, and couples therapy, in which I am incredibly passionate about. Especially treating those in the LGBTQIA+ community.

So finally, all my 6+ years of work has been evaluated and approved by the Board of Behavioral Sciences (BBS) of California to take my Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Clinical Examination - which is a 4 hour in person exam, might I add.

I couldn’t be more elated this process is almost coming to completion.

I couldn’t have done this without the help and support of la mia famiglia and my chosen friends and community. Thank you all so much.

Now, here goes studying into Hades and back again like all the other mythological and archetypal ascended masters.

6 more weeks ahead of me and I then hope to be completed with this process and finally a licensed and clinical psychotherapist!

Now, here is a photo of me and my study buddy 🦜🦜🦜

*xtherapy *xtherapist

05/03/2022

HEY COMMUNITY, I’M SUBMITTING MY CLINICAL PSYCHOTHERAPY HOURS TODAY TO THE BOARD OF BEHAVIORAL SCIENCES TO BECOME A LICENSED PSYCHOTHERAPIST! 💫 🎉

AND

ABORTION RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS

YEAH. I’LL SAY THAT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.

✌🏼

05/03/2022

ABORTION IS HEALTH CARE.

ABORTION WILL NEVER GO AWAY.

WE NEED SAFE AND ACCESSIBLE ABORTION FOR ALL.

BANS OFF OUR BODIES.

KEEP ABORTION LEGAL.

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*xtherapist

05/02/2022