09/26/2025
I met my younger self for coffee today She arrived right on time within seconds of the exact time we agreed upon. She looked stressed and apologized being late. I arrived five minutes early just chilling on my phone. She wore skinny jeans, a baggy sweatshirt, full face of makeup and bangs long enough to almost cover her eyes. I wore leggings, sneakers, my skating jacket, no makeup and hair in a messy bun. She ordered an iced black coffee. I ordered a large iced green tea with 2 stevia. She asked if we still hate the way we look and feel like no matter what we do we will never be good enough. I said yes but not as much, and we’ve been working on those things for the past year or so. Be good enough for you. That’s what matters. She asked how many friends we have. I tell her that Over time, you’ll learn that quite a few friends you think are friends now…really aren’t. We care more about quality than quantity now, and we are so much better for it. She asked if we still dance. I tell her we do but only about once a month and we do it for pure enjoyment. We actually went back to ice skating which we are doing for ourselves as well, past and present. We also eat more and workout less. Turns out that’s actually better than what you’re doing. Oops. She asked if we found love. I say yes, though we went through a good amount of time being anti-relationship and focusing on ourself and our goals alone. Learning that our self worth is not tied to being loved or wanted by another. We never actually lose that mindset once it develops. She asked if we changed the world. In a way yes I suppose. Every day we help empower our clients to change their worlds. Because yes, we did become a therapist. I drive her home and I say “look I know you feel like you’re suffering alone. Honestly we’re going to feel that for a very long time. I know it feels like no one sees your pain. We’ve been really good at hiding our pain for a long time. But that doesn’t have to be the case. I love you, take care of yourself. I’ll be thinking of you and see you sooner than you think.” We won’t meet again for another 16 years, but I think of her every day.