03/26/2026
The latest dharma talk is now available online:
"The War Within: Transforming Aggression into a Pure Heart" with Mary Stares
https://gaybuddhist.org/podcast/the-war-within-mary-stares/
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*Onryu Mary Stares* helps us understand why external peace is impossible without first addressing the "war" occurring inside—the aggression and destructive emotions within our own heart. She offers several key approaches to support this effort:
• *Navigating the Kleshas*: Mary identifies aggression as a "cold, critical, and fixed" mind and encourages practitioners to acknowledge this and other destructive emotions (pride, craving, jealousy, and ignorance) rather than skipping over them
• *The Wisdom of Manjushri*: She uses the imagery of the bodhisattva Manjushri and his sword to illustrate how wisdom can be "cutting" and clear without being aggressive, provided it is used with a "pure heart" to perform appropriate actions
• *Practical Tools for Peace*: A number of actionable methods for maintaining a peaceful internal posture during conflict are discussed, such as the *STOP practice* (Stop, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed) and Pema Chödrön’s guidance to remain "embodied, present, and kind."
• *Transforming Personal Conflict*: Through personal stories of facing workplace hostility and homophobic harassment, Mary demonstrates how meeting aggression with awareness and sadness—rather than counter-aggression—can prevent the creation of negative karma and lead toward wholeness and relationship
Onryu Mary Stares helps us understand why external peace is impossible without first addressing the “war” occurring inside—the aggression and destructive emotions within our own heart. She offers several key approaches to support this effort:
