Gay Therapy Center

10/07/2025

Imagination is one of the most exciting human gifts.

Situations that you might abhor in real life, like unfair power dynamics, can be objects of excitement in fantasy. And they commonly are.

Many fantasies are politically incorrect. As long as they stay in the realm of play and fantasy among adults who enjoy them, they hurt no one.

Fantasy also allows us to express a deep seated and important part of ourselves that we normally don’t express in our daily lives.

Reality isn’t always fun. But fantasy usually is. https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2015/7/gay-psychologist-what-you-can-learn-from-kinky-couples

10/06/2025

Dear Adam,

My husband and I are thinking about opening up our relationship. We agree that as long as we don’t have to hear about the other guys we play with, we’ll be fine. We also know that if we get the details we’ll be jealous and angry. In your experience does this strategy work for gay couples?

Signed,
Ready in Reno

https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2016/23/does-dont-ask-dont-tell-work-in-open-gay-relationships

10/05/2025

"For 33 years, National Coming Out Day has been observed on October 11 as a celebration of q***r courage and visibility. It’s a day of empowerment for LGBTQ+ folks to come out of “the closet” and take pride in living comfortably at whatever level of openness that might be, whether that’s self-discovery or publicly defining your sexuality.

Since its inception, National Coming Out Day has also been an invitation to rail against the bastion of a largely cisgender- and heterosexual-dominated society."

Read more on what coming out means in 2021, featuring GTC's Adam Blum, here:

Fift-seven anti-LGBTQIA+ bills have been passed in the U.S. so far this year. They range from bills banning gender-affirming healthcare for minors to bills giving businesses the right to turn people away because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

10/04/2025

"'The number one concern of LGBTQIA+ teens is, ‘Will I be loved if I am different? One of the best ways you can help your teen is by letting them know how much they are loved.'

Even if you don’t have a child who is out to you or may never come out, it’s important to make sure your home is a safe and affirming environment for all kids, no matter how they identify."

Read the article by on : https://www.care.com/c/lgbtq-mental-health-teens/

10/03/2025

Developing a sweet tone in self-talk makes good logical sense because your Inner Critic is young. You did not develop it as the proud adult homosexual you are today. You picked up these defeating inner voices when you were young and much more vulnerable. In some ways the Critic is a five-year-old, and so that's how it should be spoken to.

Men in particular may scoff at the idea that they should talk to themselves with a gentle tone. It's not what we were taught to believe is a desired manly trait. It may be good to remind yourself that no one has to know that you secretly are trying to be kind to yourself. https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2011/12/gay-psychologist-your-self-talk-tone-matters

10/03/2025

Gay men often have a special relationship with their mothers. Typically mothers are the first or only person to accept their son’s more “feminine” interests. She might have provided a place for you to develop the real you, rather than the false self that needed to butch it up at school.

Your mother may also be the inspiration for your interest in the domestic arts. Or she may have been the first person to teach you about vulnerability and tenderness.

So what happens when our mothers die?

https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2018/9/gay-men-losing-their-mothers

10/02/2025

Wyatt Darling, MFT, a Gay Therapy Center psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, was raised in the Mormon Church. One of his specialties is working with LGBTQ people on their path to self-acceptance as they recover from childhood exposure to homophobia in a religious context. In this interview Wyatt talks to Adam D. Blum, the Founder and Director of the Gay Therapy Center about his personal experiences and professional beliefs.
https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2016/6/gay-psychologist-recovery-from-anti-lgbtq-religion

10/01/2025

If you don’t care about how you experienced the world as a young child then probably no one (except your therapist!) cares about your child.

He or she essentially is abandoned by you and left with the message of “you are on your own and get over it.” https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2014/01/gay-therapist-says-stop-blaming-your-parents

10/01/2025

Are you tired of fighting with your partner? Every relationship has its ups and downs, but feeling like you're always fighting with your partner is exhausting. When we look under the surface of what the fight seems to be about, we can actually understand a lot more about where the hurt is coming from.

Here's a tip on how to cut down on fights, from the Director of the Gay Therapy Center, Adam Blum. https://youtu.be/1xkATVQevrg

09/30/2025

Ready to improve your relationship? The following practices, developed from years as gay therapist working with lgbt couples, may help you deepen your relationship. They may sound simple, but they have been proven to work.
https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/8-tips-to-improve-your-lgbtq-relationship/

09/30/2025

I sat down with some ‘masc-only’ gay men recently to understand better what they feel like when connecting with men they judge to be masculine. These conversations suggested three distinct but overlapping roles masculinity plays in sexual relationships with men. One group is drawn to masculine men because they feel protected. Another group says they enjoy feeling dominated by masculine energy. A third group reveals that connecting with masculine men validates their own masculinity and helps them feel more masculine. Time and time again, the themes of feeling protected, dominated and validated emerged as the payoff for bagging a masculine man. https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2016/18/gay-therapist-reflections-on-masculinity

09/29/2025

Therapists don’t often share their own life stories. Our focus is on you, not us. But sometimes what we’ve learned from our personal challenges can inspire our clients. So here goes: https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2017/28/gay-mid-life-crisis-its-a-thing