Gay Therapy Center

01/04/2026

"Ghosting is avoidance driven by a fear of confrontation. We may tell ourselves that it is nicer not to tell someone that we don’t have chemistry. In reality, being ghosted hurts a lot more than the truth.

Why do we hurt others? Because we have our own hurts that we want to avoid. When we are feeling good about ourselves we rarely intentionally hurt people. Our compassion and kindness flows from how we are feeling about ourselves"

Read more on why we ghost & how to deal with it, from GTC Founder Adam Blum, here:

LGBTQ people have learned to be experts in hiding. We had to hide to survive, and ghosting is hiding.

01/03/2026

One myth about gay dating you might have heard is that gay men no longer use condoms now that PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) is available. According to our research, this is actually not the case! Our study showed:

• 37% of respondents always use condoms.
• 23% of respondents mostly use condoms.
• 35% of respondents don’t use condoms.

Learn more about our research on gay dating apps here: https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/results-of-our-research-on-lgbtq-dating-and-hook-up-apps/

01/02/2026

To be a really good boyfriend, one of your jobs is to know your partner's five-year-old triggers (as well as your own.) You'll find it relieving to know that his behavior has less to do with anything you did wrong and has more to do with the vulnerable, cute but hurt kid he usually keeps deep inside. https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2012/03/gay-marriage-counseling-fighting

01/02/2026

What if you stopped torturing yourself for being shy?

What if you noticed when your shyness arose, acknowledged that you were feeling shy, and then paused and felt compassion for yourself?

Try it. It’s delicious. https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2015/5/the-shy-gay-guy

01/01/2026

Some gay men have trouble figuring out what they love. As we examine this in therapy, sometimes we begin to understand that from a young age, what they loved was brutally shamed.

No wonder it’s hard for them to trust that it’s okay to love what you love. They learned that, in order to be accepted, they needed to like what other boys liked.
https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/gay-therapist-im-boring/

12/31/2025

In this video, Adam D. Blum, MFT, the Founder of the Gay Therapy Center, reveals how to reduce fights with your partner by understanding what is really going on beneath the surface of the fight.

https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2016/2/gay-therapist-how-to-reduce-fights-with-your-partnert

12/31/2025

Do you find yourself struggling with perfectionism? Perfectionism is pretty common for LGBTQ+ folks. Being perfect is one way to manage feeling like an outside in your family or your community.

Perfectionism can be about feeling less than as a gay person. When you rewrite those stories you tell yourself about feeling less worthy as a gay person, you will feel less of a need to be perfect. Perfectionism can also offer good things, like the praise of the people we love, which is especially critical as a young gay person. Founder + Director of the Gay Therapy Center Adam Blum discusses some tips he’s found helpful with his gay clients in therapy to overcome perfectionism.

For more tips about LGBTQ mental health, visit our blog: https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/gay-therapy-blog/Do you find yourself struggling with perfection...

12/31/2025

Here's what I think is the most important thing you can do to for your relationship: take care of yourself.

If you really and truly took care of yourself you would be an amazing boyfriend. https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2013/04/gay-marriage-counseling-the-most-important-secret-to-a-good-gay-relationship-2

12/30/2025

It's about escaping or avoiding difficult feelings.

Often out of control or addictive s*xual behavior is actually about using s*x as a way to avoid dealing with painful experiences such as sadness, loneliness, guilt, etc. Sometimes it is described as being on autopilot or in a trance. People with out of control s*xual behavior typically don't talk about the pleasure of s*x or the connection they feel with their partners because of s*x. https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2016/8/when-is-s*x-out-of-control

12/29/2025

Whoever came up with the concept of “Pride” when naming our Pride Marches and Pride Month was definitely clever.

As LGBTQ people we use the word pride a lot. But perhaps we don’t spend enough time understanding the opposite of pride: shame.

All people, and especially LGBTQ people, experience the destructive force of shame.

Shame is not the same thing as guilt. Guilt sometimes can help us find our moral compass and so it has some value. But shame does not help us grow.

So how do we heal from shame? Pride marches can help, but there’s a lot more we can do.
https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2019/30/pride-and-shame

12/28/2025

"For 33 years, National Coming Out Day has been observed on October 11 as a celebration of q***r courage and visibility. It’s a day of empowerment for LGBTQ+ folks to come out of “the closet” and take pride in living comfortably at whatever level of openness that might be, whether that’s self-discovery or publicly defining your s*xuality.

Since its inception, National Coming Out Day has also been an invitation to rail against the bastion of a largely cisgender- and heteros*xual-dominated society."

Read more on what coming out means in 2021, featuring GTC's Adam Blum, here:

Fift-seven anti-LGBTQIA+ bills have been passed in the U.S. so far this year. They range from bills banning gender-affirming healthcare for minors to bills giving businesses the right to turn people away because of their s*xual orientation or gender identity.

12/27/2025

Want to know more about our services? Read what over 500 people have said about our work here: https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/testimonials/