Gay Therapy Center

05/25/2026

Pride—the month-long “high holy days” event for q***r people—is a sort of guilt-free holiday: no family obligations, no gift-giving pressure, and no rushing to the gym after three dessert parties in a row.

But Pride, as it turns out, can be a lot like Christmas, Valentine’s Day or other emotionally loaded holidays: big expectations and a fear of missing out (FOMO), especially when everyone is on Facebook or other social media posting selfies of their fabulous brunches and parties. Or how about that moment when you run into your ex at the D**e March?

Starting to feel some angst? Trying to stay joyful? Q***r feelings run high and come in all colors of the rainbow this time of year. https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2016/19/le****ns-and-pride-month-surviving-the-dyke-march-exes-and-other-peoples-selfies

05/24/2026

"Ghosting is avoidance driven by a fear of confrontation. We may tell ourselves that it is nicer not to tell someone that we don’t have chemistry. In reality, being ghosted hurts a lot more than the truth.

Why do we hurt others? Because we have our own hurts that we want to avoid. When we are feeling good about ourselves we rarely intentionally hurt people. Our compassion and kindness flows from how we are feeling about ourselves"

Read more on why we ghost & how to deal with it, from GTC Founder Adam Blum, here:

LGBTQ people have learned to be experts in hiding. We had to hide to survive, and ghosting is hiding.

05/23/2026

Like many couples in counseling, the crisis ultimately became a turning point—bringing them to a greater sense of security, closeness, and commitment to each other.

Do you have questions about whether therapy is right for you?

Schedule a free 15-minute call to learn more about how therapy works.

05/22/2026

An important reason we enter into relationships is to heal some of the old wounds we experienced in our earliest relationships with our parents, siblings, and peers. https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2011/06/what-gay-men-should-expect-in-a-relationship

05/22/2026

Long gone are the days when all we found was a matchbook from a seedy motel or lipstick on a collar.

It’s a new layer of modern trauma that never before existed. The words and images are burned into the minds of the one who is betrayed.

And when old boyfriends are now just a click away on Facebook, affairs are everywhere. https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2018/12/gay-men-and-affairs-how-to-recover

05/21/2026

What if you really loved yourself? The concept of loving yourself has lost its power to inspire us because it was overused in cheesy popular media. We are in an ironic time and loving yourself sounds sappy, and very 1980s.

But loving yourself is not self-indulgent. It doesn’t mean you stop loving and caring about others. It just means adding yourself to your inner circle of loved ones.
https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2014/10/gay-therapist-men-loving-themselves

05/20/2026

Being perfect is one way to manage being an outsider in your own family, school, city, or country.

Feeling like an outsider is a pretty typical experience for young gay people. And too often they can also feel like they are gross, disgusting, or sick. It can be quite humiliating to grow up gay.

Look under the surface of “out and proud” gay men and you’ll frequently find these old tapes lurking inside, running in the background.

Here’s what gay perfectionism looks like for men I’ve worked with: https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/gay-perfectionism/

05/20/2026

Do you find yourself struggling with perfectionism? Perfectionism is pretty common for LGBTQ+ folks. Being perfect is one way to manage feeling like an outside in your family or your community.

Perfectionism can be about feeling less than as a gay person. When you rewrite those stories you tell yourself about feeling less worthy as a gay person, you will feel less of a need to be perfect. Perfectionism can also offer good things, like the praise of the people we love, which is especially critical as a young gay person. Founder + Director of the Gay Therapy Center Adam Blum discusses some tips he’s found helpful with his gay clients in therapy to overcome perfectionism.

For more tips about LGBTQ mental health, visit our blog: https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/gay-therapy-blog/Do you find yourself struggling with perfection...

05/19/2026

I often work with clients who want to end a destructive, unhealthy relationship and are struggling with the willpower to say goodbye. These relationships can have an addictive quality and clients experience painful withdrawal symptoms as they attempt to leave. While the early stages of the process can be challenging, all of my clients have dramatically improved their lives after leaving toxic relationships.

Here are some actions, thoughts, and questions that can help as you try to let go and move forward:
https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2011/10/gay-marriage-counseling-ending-an-unhealthy-relationship

05/19/2026

To be successful in working through the inevitable hurt feelings, couples need to lead the way on relationships based on intentional communication. https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2018/01/gay-men-in-open-relationships-what-works

05/18/2026

The joke about what le****ns bring on the second date—a U-Haul—might be a stereotype, but it speaks to a truth about le***an dating: Many women move quickly to selecting a china pattern before they have even met each others’ cats.

I once dated a woman who wanted to start using the word “girlfriend” after two dates. Needless to say, that pairing didn’t last.

What about casual s*x? Do le****ns even do that?
https://www.thegaytherapycenter.com/adam-d-blum-mft/2016/9/le****ns-and-casual-s*x-can-we-leave-the-u-haul-behind