The New Happy

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One of the most helpful ways to approach your emotions is to label them, by saying, “I am feeling sad,” or “This emotion...
07/24/2025

One of the most helpful ways to approach your emotions is to label them, by saying, “I am feeling sad,” or “This emotion I’m experiencing is anger.”

And one of the least helpful ways to approach your emotions is to categorize them as “good” or “bad.”

The former helps you to learn more about yourself and your needs; the latter distances you from yourself and your needs.

Every emotion matters. You need each one of them to live a happy, meaningful, and fulfilling life. Whatever emotion you’re experiencing has something important to teach you. Describe them; don’t categorize them.

For more help with understanding your emotions, you can download our free Feelings Wheel tool, linked in stories or www.thenewhappy.com/feelings-wheel

If you’re feeling stuck, it might be because you’re trying to do something impossible. You’re trying to be perfect and g...
07/23/2025

If you’re feeling stuck, it might be because you’re trying to do something impossible. You’re trying to be perfect and grow at the same time.

Growth always involves setbacks, detours, and attempts that don’t quite work out. Mistakes are an inevitable part of the journey. Your job is to learn from them — and use them to keep growing.

In NEW HAPPY, our bestselling book, you’ll learn how to accept and love yourself as you are—and why doing so leads to true happiness. Order your copy today at www.newhappybook.com

No matter how straightforward someone else’s journey looks from the outside — no matter how clearly they describe their ...
07/22/2025

No matter how straightforward someone else’s journey looks from the outside — no matter how clearly they describe their goal, no matter how strong their conviction seems, no matter how easy you perceive their progress to be — it never feels that way to the person who is on it.

On the inside, they feel exactly the same way that you do. Their journey feels messy, difficult, complicated, confusing, two-steps-forward and one-step-back, sometimes boring and sometimes exhilarating, with days where they want to give up and days when they don’t know what they’re doing.

Never compare your internal experience to someone else’s outer appearance.

With one message, you have the power to help someone to go from feeling lonely to feeling loved. And when we all take a ...
07/21/2025

With one message, you have the power to help someone to go from feeling lonely to feeling loved. And when we all take a moment to check in on one another, we can create communities where everyone feels like they belong and they matter.

Today, here’s a New Happy challenge: think about someone you love who is having a tough time.

Reach out to them. Check in with them. Ask them about the challenge in their life. Proactively offer help. If you’re not sure what to do, think about what you would want in this situation.

One message at a time, we can build bridges that support one another—that help each other to see we are loved, no matter what challenges we are facing.

Shifting from “I am” to “I feel” gives you the chance to step back from the emotion, learn from it, and make the wisest ...
07/16/2025

Shifting from “I am” to “I feel” gives you the chance to step back from the emotion, learn from it, and make the wisest choice.

Studies have found that labeling your emotions in this way helps to tamp down your stress response, which gives you the space to move forward in the way that best serves you.

Give it a try the next time you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed by your emotions. You can even help your loved ones put it into practice by asking them what they are feeling and helping them put it into words.

For more strategies that help you change your relationship with yourself, you can download our free Self Love guide at www.thenewhappy.com/selflove-guide

“How can I achieve my goals?”If you look around for answers to this question, you’ll likely get the same response over a...
07/15/2025

“How can I achieve my goals?”

If you look around for answers to this question, you’ll likely get the same response over and over: choose the right goal, break your goal into small steps, be consistent with taking action.
But here’s something that no one talks about, which is equally as important: be willing to make mistakes.

Be willing to try things that are new, and therefore, might be uncomfortable.

Be willing to sit with that discomfort, which might come in the form of embarrassment, confusion, disappointment, frustration, anger, and apathy.

Be willing to reflect on your choices, learn from your mistakes, and pivot to new paths if needed.

Without willingness, all of the strategy, planning, and ex*****on is meaningless. You’ll never feel ready to get started or prepared enough to get through the first hurdle.

Just to make this even more challenging, as you progress towards your goals, your tolerance of discomfort needs to increase proportionally, too. You never ‘get’ comfortable; you simply get comfortable with more and more discomfort.

That’s why we need to learn to view willingness as a skill, something we can practice and can get better at.

The next time you’re feeling uncomfortable, stuck, or like you want to quit, that’s a sign you need to harness your willingness. Say this mantra to yourself: “To move closer to what matters to me, I am willing to sit here in this discomfort, knowing that it will not last forever.”

The weight of your feelings can be so heavy. But you don’t have to carry them silently. Please reach out and tell someon...
07/15/2025

The weight of your feelings can be so heavy. But you don’t have to carry them silently. Please reach out and tell someone about them. Let them know what you are going through and how that is making you feel on the inside. Pain is not meant to borne alone.

One of the ways that Old Happy culture makes us miserable is by convincing us that we have to do everything, get everyth...
07/10/2025

One of the ways that Old Happy culture makes us miserable is by convincing us that we have to do everything, get everything, and be everything. As a result, you spread your energy out in a million directions trying to achieve an impossible task, leaving you overwhelmed, dissatisfied, and exhausted.

Instead, I’d advise that you try out a different approach: prioritize what matters most to you, devoting all of your energy towards the few things that really bring you joy.

Try this five minute exercise: write down a list of what is most important to you. Then, compare it to how you're currently spending your time. What do you need to let go of so that you can devote your energy towards what most fulfills you?

(If you’d like to learn more about how to free yourself from the societal lies about happiness, it’s the subject of our bestselling book, NEW HAPPY — and you can read the first chapter free at www.thenewhappy.com)

The next time you are tempted to put off a scary, hard, or difficult task off, here’s what I want you to say yourself:“I...
07/09/2025

The next time you are tempted to put off a scary, hard, or difficult task off, here’s what I want you to say yourself:

“I believe that avoiding this will make my life easier. But, in the long-run, I need to remember avoiding this is only going to make life harder.”

Avoiding the task might give you a brief moment of relief. But, all too soon, that will fade, and you will be left with the anxiety that comes from avoiding it—and that’s a feeling that only gets worse with time, building and building and building until you finally deal with the task.

Sometimes, in the moment where we’re tempted to put something off, we need to remind ourselves of the price we pay for avoidance.

When you’re going through something hard, it’s altogether too easy to become fixated on the future. Questions like, “How...
07/09/2025

When you’re going through something hard, it’s altogether too easy to become fixated on the future. Questions like, “How is this going to be okay?” or “When will this end?” or “What will my future look like now that this awful event has happened?” can become pervasive, amplifying the pain of the present moment out into the future.

In these moments, it’s so important to gently pull your awareness from thinking about the future and its unknowable nature, and instead, just focus on the day. This day.

And if that feels too big, you can shrink it down to this hour.

And if that feels too big, you can shrink it down to this minute.

You don’t have to ‘figure out your future’ right now. You don’t have to know how you’ll cope with a challenge that might come some day down the road. You don’t have to think about a plan for how to solve it all. You can just take it one minute at a time. Sometimes, that’s all we can do, and that’s what gets us through it.

You’re not the only one who feels lost.You’re not the only one who feels overwhelmed.You’re not the only one who feels s...
07/07/2025

You’re not the only one who feels lost.
You’re not the only one who feels overwhelmed.
You’re not the only one who feels scared.

It’s so easy to forget, and so important to remember: you only have visibility into your insides and everyone else’s outsides. You don’t see everyone else’s ups and downs, witness their challenges and struggles, or experience their fear and uncertainty. This can leave you with the mistaken perception that you are the only one who is having a hard time. In truth. we’re all going through something — navigating our difficulties, coping with fear and confusion and pain and loneliness, and trying our best to figure life out day-by-day.

You’re not alone. We’re all just trying to find our way. Let’s be kinder to each other as we do.

It’s so easy to imagine a good life as a destination: somewhere we arrive when we have finally eliminated our problems a...
07/06/2025

It’s so easy to imagine a good life as a destination: somewhere we arrive when we have finally eliminated our problems and struggles. Then, we think, I’ll experience perpetual joy. But there is no life where that is possible.

A meaningful, happy life will inevitably involve difficult experiences and emotions. You can’t work towards a cause that you care about without feeling stress; you can’t craft a fulfilling relationship without tending to your wounds; you can’t grow as a person without experiencing fear. It will always be an experience of wins and challenges; joys and pains; meetings and farewells; transfigurations and disintegrations. All of our experiences contribute to the mosaic that is a happy life.

Here are a few small ways to put this idea into practice.
- Write down what a good life means to you. The clearer the picture in your mind, the easier it will be to make decisions that align with it.
- Meet your difficult emotions and experiences with compassion. Remind yourself: it’s an inevitable part of being a human; it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you.
- Every day, ask yourself: what’s one way I could experience a bit of joy today? Often, it’s the small moments that really matter most: a delicious meal, an evening walk, or a connection with a loved one.

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