John Clarke Therapy

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05/29/2026

The goal isn't to get clients where you think they need to go.

The goal is to understand what they're asking for help with right now.

And... that can be harder than it sounds.

When a client mentions drinking, relationship conflict, anxiety, or another challenge, it can be tempting to assume that's where the work should go.

But a client-led approach invites us to stay curious a little longer.

Is this something they want to work on?

Slowing down and asking questions - letting the clients guide the work- helps us understand the system we're working with, rather than the one we imagine we're (or have our own agenda to be) working with.

This is one of the things I model inside the weekly Pathways to Self case consultations.

When clinicians bring cases to the call, I don't assume where the conversation needs to go.

Together, we get curious. And experience this approach in real time.

If you're looking for a place to deepen your clinical skills with real case consultation and experiential learning, check the link in the comments.

Clients are often less defensive when they feel they have a choice in how the work unfolds.And therapists learn more abo...
05/27/2026

Clients are often less defensive when they feel they have a choice in how the work unfolds.

And therapists learn more about the system when they stop trying to lead it somewhere.

05/26/2026

Just because a client talks about something doesn’t mean they’re ready to work on it.

A client might mention trauma, po*******hy, grief, suicidal thoughts, shame, addiction, or anger because they want you to know it exists. That’s very different from saying:
“I feel safe enough to go there.”

Protective parts often allow disclosure before they allow deeper therapeutic work.

This is an important nuance of our work.

When therapists move faster than the system is ready for, even with good intentions, clients can experience therapy as intrusive rather than collaborative.

One question that can completely shift the pace of a session is: “What’s it like to tell me this?”

You learn a lot from the response to that question. Sometimes there’s relief that it’s finally been spoken out loud, and sometimes you can feel the system tighten up immediately after sharing it.

IFS changes the way we think about consent in therapy. Not just external consent, but internal consent too. Does the client have enough self-energy present to stay with this? Do protective parts feel safe enough for the work to continue?

And sometimes the most important thing a therapist can do is slow down enough to find that out before trying to go deeper.

If you’re exploring how to integrate IFS more deeply into your clinical work and wanting to feel less pressure to push, fix, or force the process, checkout out the From Burnout to Balance training - invite is in the comments.

05/24/2026

One of the biggest contributors to therapist burnout is feeling responsible for making clients feel better.

A client is anxious, overwhelmed, ashamed, or stuck, and something in us immediately starts working trying to reassure, calm, fix, or move the feeling along.

That’s exhausting over time.

Not just because the work is hard, but because we start carrying the emotional weight of trying to change another person’s internal experience.

Anxious parts rarely heal because someone talks them out of what they feel.

More often, they soften because they feel seen and understood.

That’s why presence matters so much in therapy.

Clients can feel the difference between a therapist who is trying to make the fear stop and a therapist who is able to stay present with it.

When we slow down enough to witness what’s happening instead of urgently trying to fix it, it creates more space in the room, more trust in the client’s system. And less pressure on the therapist to force change.

Ironically, that’s usually when deeper healing begins to happen.

Many therapists are carrying far more than they need to.

There’s a very human impulse to want to relieve someone’s pain when we care about them.

But presence is different (and more powerful).

It doesn’t rush the system. It stays with it.

And that’s what allows the system to soften in the first place.

For the client, but also for us as therapists, who no longer feel responsible for carrying the entire session alone.

Inside Pathways to Self, therapists don’t just learn about this intellectually.

You get to experience what it feels like to be accompanied, witnessed, and met with presence yourself.

05/20/2026

IFS work asks us to slow down far more than most of us want to.

And that’s often the hardest part.

We can only help clients move as slowly and safely as our own nervous system allows.

Inside the Pathways to Self weekly consultation group, we practice exactly that together in an intimate group of other clinicians.

Explore more in the comments.

05/18/2026

“What if a client only has 6 sessions through an EAP? Is it still worth doing IFS work?”

If you’ve ever questioned whether meaningful healing work can happen in a short amount of time, this clip is from a recent Going Inside podcast episode that explores exactly that.

And if you’d like to continue conversations like this live, I’ll be answering questions on the next Going Inside Live around IFS, trauma, protectors, burnout, emotional overwhelm, and clinical work.

Add the next session to your calendar and submit your question to be answered live 👇

05/12/2026

Every week, a small group of clinicians meets live to bring real clinical cases, explore stuck points, and deepen their capacity to stay grounded in the room.

Inside Pathways to Self, we hold space not only for our clients’ systems, but for our own. The trauma, grief, overwhelm, protectors, and exiles that can emerge in us as therapists, too.

Explore the details in the comments.

05/11/2026

Sometimes what we call helping is actually rescuing someone from feelings they need to move through themselves.

A powerful moment from this week’s Pathways to Self case consult on codependency, rescuing, and staying grounded while someone else is struggling:

“You keep one foot on shore while you help them explore… but it’s their ocean to explore.”

We’ll be continuing conversations like this tomorrow at 12pm PT on Going Inside Live as I answer your questions around IFS, trauma, relationships, and the challenges that arise in healing and clinical work.

Submit your questions ahead of the episode 👇or join live on YouTube and drop them in the chat.

At a certain point, more information doesn’t translate into better therapy.Integration does.That’s where IFS becomes les...
05/07/2026

At a certain point, more information doesn’t translate into better therapy.

Integration does.

That’s where IFS becomes less of a model and more of a way of working. Something that can sit alongside EMDR, ERP, or whatever you’re already doing.

If you’re in that stage of your career, the Pathways to Self consultation group is built exactly for that kind of integration. Details are in the bio or comments.

05/06/2026

Even therapists who’ve been using IFS can feel anxious walking into a Level 1 training.

In this recent Going Inside episode, we talk about the pressure to prove yourself in trainings, especially around other clinicians, and the other parts that get activated.

If you’ve ever felt evaluated, self-conscious, or “not good enough” while learning IFS, this conversation will probably resonate.

If you’re tired of feeling in your head in sessions, overwhelmed by trying to “do IFS right,” or unsure how to actually trust yourself with the model, check out the resources below:

→ Free training: From Burnout to Balance
→ Pathways to Self: ongoing intimate consultation + community for therapists

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Address

4155 24th Street
San Francisco, CA
94114

Website

https://go.johnclarketherapy.com/ifs-webinar-social

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