Gay Couples Institute

Gay Couples Institute Great Gay Relationships, Fast. That's what we create. You just need to use a few tools. Then you can quickly build anything.

In 1965 a psychologist by the name of George Bach published this book called "The Intimate Enemy", detailing a new approach to couples therapy. Bach came up with this theory: The problem with couples is that they hold in their anger. He theorized that if you teach couples to air their resentments, they’ll get all the anger out, and feel better. As Bach’s ideas progressed he also decided that more resentment could be aired if couples hit one another over the head with soft foam-padded bats. Again, they'll get their anger out, and the relationship will last forever. Knowing that this premise was not only ridiculous, but that it encouraged domestic violence, a psychologist named John Gottman came along with a brand new idea. Rather than create a new theory, he watched other successful couples to learn their secret to happiness. Amazingly, no one had ever thought to do this. Dr. Gottman published over one hundred peer-reviewed research articles about his findings - they were that amazing. He learned how couples should talk to one another to solve disagreements. He learned how exactly couples last long-term. He learned how they maintain a great s*x life (which isn't easy for anyone, unless you know specifically what to do).

04/28/2023
07/18/2020

Join the “Happiness Revival” Challenge!

We created this free challenge to help LGBT+ people feel more confident about themselves, identify what will make them truly happy again, and connect with others open to creating a solid bond.

The Happiness Revival Challenge will help you...
- Create a strong & secure sense of self...
- Build tangible happiness: Finding contentment, safety, and security within
- Achieving authentic happiness (or contentment)
- Finding You: A guide to authentic happiness, comfort, and contentment

Download your Challenge worksheet, watch the videos, and win some participation prizes for submitting your homework in the Gay Relationship Revolution group (link below)

See you there!

Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/gayrelationshiprevolution/

06/27/2020

Last we talked all about PRIDE and why we think it's still important to celebrate even with cancelled parades and events.

This week we'll share with you all what PRIDE means to us! Join us at 8am PST for "Hear Me Out!" and we'll talk about the many meanings of PRIDE...and we would love to hear what PRIDE means to each of you!

Next steps:
*Share this with others or tag them in the comments if they would benefit from this information
*Send us a Direct Message if you’re looking for more ideas to increase the connection in your relationship or there are some challenges you want to overcome.

06/20/2020

It's June! And for many of us in the LGBTQ+ community this symbolizes a meaningful time of year: PRIDE. For 50 years, the LGBTQ+ community has gathered in the streets to protest, celebrate, and be seen!

As 2020 rages on, you may be feeling a sense of loss around the changes to Pride or may have even asked yourself: should we just cancel Pride?

On today's episode of 'Hear Me Out!' we will talk about "Pride" as a ritual and why that may explain some of these thoughts and feelings. Join us Saturday, June 20th at 10am PST.

Next steps:
*Share this with others or tag them in the comments if they would benefit from this information
*Send us a Direct Message if you’re looking for more ideas to increase the connection in your relationship or there are some challenges you want to overcome.

06/13/2020

Some of the most consistent comments we see in this group center around building relationships, fitting in, and connecting with others.

We've seen members give each other GREAT advice about how to meet people, make friends, or put yourself out there.

If you're struggling to connect with others or are still feeling uncomfortable in your own skin tune in to today's episode of "Hear Me Out!" LIVE at 10am PST.

We are going to go a little deeper and talk about the importance of finding a sense of TRUE BELONGING.

Next steps:
*Share this with others or tag them in the comments if they would benefit from this information
*Send us a Direct Message if you’re looking for more ideas to increase the connection in your relationship or there are some challenges you want to overcome.

06/06/2020

One of the most common things we hear from members in this group is that they struggle with trust. At the same time, people often claim that trust is one of the most crucial pieces to relationship.

On today's episode of 'Hear Me Out!' we'll talk about how to communicate in a way that builds trust. These skills are applicable whether you are learning how to trust in a new relationship, looking to rebuild trust in a long-term relationship, or wanting to consider ways of communication that will facilitate trust across all areas of your life.

Join us LIVE at 10am PST! And better yet, let us know what your biggest barriers to trust or honest communication are.

Next steps:
*Share this with others or tag them in the comments if they would benefit from this information
*Send us a Direct Message if you’re looking for more ideas to increase the connection in your relationship or there are some challenges you want to overcome.

05/30/2020

Do you ever feel alone or unique in your relationship struggles? Do you feel like you’re trying to squeeze your relationship or your experience into a model that doesn't quite fit?

Last week we talked about how physical distancing has changed our model for what dating "should" look like. This week we continue that conversation and discuss how many of us have built same-s*x relationships without relationship role models.

On today's episode of 'Hear Me Out!' we'll talk about social modeling, the unique relationship challenges of same-s*x couples, and why this matters to relationship health.

Grab a pencil and paper to write down a few key points:

1. ___________________
2. ___________________
3. ___________________

Next steps:
* Share this with others or tag them in the comments if they would benefit from this information
* Send me a Direct Message if you’re looking for more ideas to increase the connection in your relationship or there are some challenges you want to overcome.

05/23/2020

Do you feel like the dating scene is constantly changing? The question of what our relationship "should" look like is a moving target!

Now with shelter-in-place and social and physical distancing from others, it is even less clear what we "should" do when it comes to looking for love.

On today's episode of 'Hear Me Out!' we'll talk about how the dating scene has changed in the last few months and a few things to consider:

1. ___________________
2. ___________________
3. ___________________

Next steps:
* Share this with others or tag them in the comments if they would benefit from this information
* Send me a Direct Message if you’re looking for more ideas to increase the connection in your relationship or there are some challenges you want to overcome.

05/16/2020

"Recently we've been hearing from members in this group that feel like they have "lost momentum."

Maybe you're a "late bloomer" who recently came out, but now it isn't safe to go out to bars or go on dates...
Maybe you feel like your relationship was just hitting its stride and now it has taken a few steps back because of shelter-in-place...
Maybe you recently started a job or started gaining ground at your job and now you're working remotely, have been furloughed, or even laid off...

On today’s episode of ‘Hear Me Out!’ we'll talk about what to do if you feel like your life got put on pause right when it was starting to get good and how to stay on track with your goals during this time.

(Grab a piece of paper to write things down...)
1. ____________________
2. ____________________
3. ____________________

Next steps:
* Share this with others or tag them in the comments if they would benefit from this information
* Send a Direct Message if you’re looking for more ideas to increase the connection in your relationship or there are some challenges you want to overcome."

05/09/2020

In the face of our new reality, our emotions might feel more complicated or ambiguous than what we think of when we think of traditional grief. If you’ve been experiencing ups and downs during this time or have felt confused by some of your emotions, join us for today’s episode of ‘Hear Me Out!’.

We'll talk about uncertainty, ambiguity, and grief.

(Grab a piece of paper to write things down...)
1. ________________
2. ________________
3. ________________

Next steps:
* Share this with others or tag them in the comments if they would benefit from this information

Join us in the Gay Relationship Revolution group for more of the conversation... https://www.facebook.com/groups/gayrelationshiprevolution/

05/02/2020

Maybe you were feeling lonely before mandated physical distancing guidelines?

Has physical isolation created feelings of loneliness?

Perhaps you are even feeling lonely despite spending the whole day inside with your partner…

Members in this group often tell us that some of their biggest fears are of “rejection” or “criticism from others.”

On today’s episode of ‘Hear Me Out!’ we'll talk about the “loneliness epidemic,” its connection to our need for external validation, and what we can do to decrease loneliness even when we might be physically isolated.

(Grab a piece of paper to write things down...)
1. ________________
2. ________________
3. ________________

Next steps:
* Share this with others or tag them in the comments if they would benefit from this information
* Send me a Direct Message if you’re looking for more ideas to increase the connection in your relationship or there are some challenges you want to overcome."

04/25/2020

Many of you may be experiencing more conflict or tension at home as April comes to a close and shelter-in-place orders continue to be necessary.

On today’s episode of ‘Hear Me Out!’ we'll talk about whether tension or conflict is a problem in a relationship, the three types of conflict styles, and what to do if your style doesn't quite match up with your partner's.

Here's our latest free quiz to determine your preferred conflict style...
https://www.marriagecounselinginstitute.com/your-type

(Grab a piece of paper to write things down...)
1. ___________________
2. ___________________
3. ___________________

Next steps:
* Share this with others or tag them in the comments if they would benefit from this information
* Send me a Direct Message if you’re looking for more ideas to increase the connection in your relationship or there are some challenges you want to overcome.

04/18/2020

On today’s episode of ‘Hear Me Out!’ we'll talk about...
• personality types...
• what "introversion" and "extroversion" really mean,
• and how you may be feeling while sheltering-in-place.

(Grab a piece of paper to write things down...)
1. ______________________
2. ______________________
3. ______________________

Next steps:
* Share this with others or tag them in the comments if they would benefit from this information
* Send me a Direct Message if you’re looking for more help for increasing the connection in your relationship, or work on your personal happiness while stuck in the shelter-in-place.

04/11/2020

What negative stuff do you tell yourself about yourself? Maybe you don't even realize it?

But did you know that you can control your own negative self-talk by following a simple three-step process?

This week in the Gay Relationship Revolution group we taught our community how to do this.

Check out the recording here...https://www.facebook.com/groups/gayrelationshiprevolution/

04/04/2020

In our Gay Relationship Revolution group, we were joined by therapist Corey Barber to talk about the idea of settling for the flaws you see in someone else.

Is it true that, "In order to settle DOWN with someone, you must settle FOR certain things?" (in the words of Dan Savage)

What about checklists? Do you have one, and don't even realize it?

Join us LIVE every Saturday at 10am PT for our next Hear Me Out! Livestream...
https://www.facebook.com/groups/gayrelationshiprevolution/ (just answer the entry questions and we'll see you next Saturday)

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Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
Saturday 9am - 5pm

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Our Story

Hi! Sam (Salvatore) Garanzini and Alapaki Yee here ....

We are Certified Gottman Method Couples Therapists, and the co-founders of the Gay Couples Institute, which now delivers couples therapy to over 300 couples per year across the United States.

We created the Gay Couples institute to give g**s and le****ns just like you access to great therapy. We disagreed with many of the things our friends were being told in their own relationship therapy. In fact, some of those things they were told by other clinicians were fundamentally inaccurate and not based on any research.

The Gottman Method seemed like a logical choice. Salvatore and Alapaki are one of about 300 therapists worldwide who can call themselves a Certified Gottman Therapist. Salvatore teaches this method to other therapists, and is a faculty member at the University of San Francisco. Alapaki works in individual and couples therapy with gay men having a relationship problems.