Relationship Skills for People of All Genders and Orientations

Relationship Skills for People of All Genders and Orientations Relationship Skills Workshops offered online for people of all genders and orientations. Why Repair When You Can Prepare? You are also who I want to reach.

Relationship Skills for People of All Genders and Orientations
I am so excited to announce an upcoming offering that I am putting together for all of the people who have reached out to me over the years from states I am not licensed to practice in. I have wished I had a way to help support you in improving your relationships when I can only see a limited number of therapy clients and I cannot prac

tice outside of the state of California. I am offering a skills-building workshop/club for people of all genders and orientations that will teach you all of the tools people learn in couples and relationship therapy, and hopefully do it in a way that helps you prepare for conflict rather than try to repair things after it has happened. People spend thousands of dollars or more on relationship therapy, often waiting until it’s too late to seek counseling. At a minimum, partners who see me for ten sessions spend about $4500 on relationship therapy. But most distressed couples need more than ten sessions. Many people need at least six months of therapy, especially when they are recovering from multiple relationship ruptures or they have developed dysfunctional patterns that need significant effort to change. If you’re reading this and you’re thinking, “Wait, I’m pretty happy in my relationship,” then that’s great news! Consider this workshop an investment that could potentially help you avoid the most common relationship problems, improve your communication and empathy, and help identify when you should get help before serious damage has harmed your relationships. Research shows that people in relationships wait an average of 6 years after the first signs of relationship distress to get help. Don’t let that be you! Prepare now so that you can recognize what the signs are and learn the tools that will help keep your love alive. And trust me, these exercises are much more fun and useful to building your relationship skills when you are still in the foundational stages of your love. I am offering safe but engaging workshops that will help you learn how to assess the current state of health of your relationship(s), practice skills to enhance connection and positivity, and identify when you may need additional help. Since you will not be coming in with things already broken, this gives us the opportunity to use our time with me teaching you the tools and exercises that can take many sessions to integrate with distressed people. YOU’LL LEARN:
*How to avoid the four biggest predictors of relationship distress;
*How to understand your attachment styles and how these may come into play during times of conflict;
*How to identify your (and your partner’s) preferred ways of giving and receiving love;
*How to approach difficult conversations and repair ruptures in your relationship;
*How to take these skills home and continue to work on increasing the love and connection in your relationships. This group is especially welcoming of LGBTQ folks, people of color, polyamorous people, s*x workers and their partners, and kinksters. All participants are advised that members should not be actively addicted to any substance at the time of the Intensive training and that relationships be free of abuse, intimidation, and domestic violence. You will not have to worry about coming into a room with a therapist/teacher or attendees who don’t “get” who you are. Individuals and single people are welcome, and couples, triads, and polycules are especially encouraged to attend together to get the additional benefit of practicing in the workshop and to enhance skill building post-workshop. You will leave with ideas and materials to help you continue to work on your partnership(s). These intensive trainings will be fun, informative, bonding, and educational. Some of it may be challenging, and parts of it will feel like play. You will learn together, and you will leave with a clearer awareness of how to better nurture your romantic relationships.

“Successful” CNM doesn’t mean we never clash. It works when we learn how to pause and pivot as a team!💬 Follow for more ...
07/24/2025

“Successful” CNM doesn’t mean we never clash. It works when we learn how to pause and pivot as a team!

💬 Follow for more tools to navigate polyamory with compassion for yourself and your partner(s).



Description: A warm-toned photo series of three people sitting closely together, smiling and interacting with care. Delicate white flower illustrations overlay the images. Each slide contains relationship guidance on what to do when autonomy and attachment needs collide in consensual non-monogamy (CNM). The text walks through common tensions, emotional regulation tips, and strategies for connection. The final slides emphasise teamwork, shared responsibility, and invite viewers to follow for more supportive tools.

This is the work. And it’s not always simple!💬 If you’ve been through something like this, I’d love to hear how you navi...
07/17/2025

This is the work. And it’s not always simple!

💬 If you’ve been through something like this, I’d love to hear how you navigated it, or what you wish you’d done differently.



Description: A soft, intimate photo series of three people resting together. One reads while two lie close. White leaf illustrations frame each slide. The text explains a common CNM crisis: one partner in distress, the other caught in new relationship energy. It unpacks Dr. Eli Sheff’s “perfect storm”.

07/13/2025

Shifting from anxious or avoidant attachment to something more secure doesn’t happen overnight, but it can happen!

With time, safety, and practice, our nervous systems learn that connection can hold, even when it’s stretched.

This shift doesn’t mean you never feel anxious or avoidant.
It means those parts don’t drive the car anymore.

Follow for more attachment-aware relationship insights ❤️

Having different attachment styles isn’t a red flag. It’s an opportunity to build awareness, name your needs, and practi...
07/10/2025

Having different attachment styles isn’t a red flag. It’s an opportunity to build awareness, name your needs, and practice mutual care.

Attachment is a pattern, not a diagnosis. And patterns can shift with safety, trust, and repair.

Head to https://drkkolmes.com/flooding/ to discover a simple technique to calm your system during conflict and protect your relationships from stress ❤️

Did somebody say SECURE attachment 😉Follow for more inclusive relationship insights you need to know ❤️
07/03/2025

Did somebody say SECURE attachment 😉

Follow for more inclusive relationship insights you need to know ❤️

Relationships can grow, but only if both people are willing to do the work of becoming emotionally safe for each other.L...
06/26/2025

Relationships can grow, but only if both people are willing to do the work of becoming emotionally safe for each other.

Looking for tools and insights to help you build a stronger connection with your person? Be sure to follow me! ❤️

This check-in is a chance to slow down, reflect, and learn how to better support each other when it matters most.Making ...
06/19/2025

This check-in is a chance to slow down, reflect, and learn how to better support each other when it matters most.

Making space for conversations like this is the work of connection.

Save this check-in for your next quiet night in, or send it to your partner to start the conversation ❤️

Think relationships are 50/50? Think again! Especially when it comes to repair 👇After helping hundreds of people — coupl...
06/12/2025

Think relationships are 50/50? Think again! Especially when it comes to repair 👇

After helping hundreds of people — couples, polycules, and individuals in all kinds of relational configurations — here’s what I can tell you with confidence:

Repair almost never starts with both people arriving at the exact same moment, with the same tools, at the same level of readiness 🤯

It usually begins with one person.

The one who feels the rupture.

The one who’s regulated enough to reach across the gap.

The one who’s done this work before.

That’s not dysfunction. That’s skill. That’s care ❤️

The problem is when it always begins and ends with the same person.

If you’re always initiating repair, softening first, holding the emotional weight of the relationship, that’s not connection. That’s imbalance.

This shows up often in my work.

One person trying to model repair in a system where no one else engages.

That’s not sustainable. And it’s not the goal.

Yes, repair often starts with one person. That’s normal. But it has to become something shared.

Initiating repair doesn’t mean taking all the responsibility. It means creating a path back to connection.

But it only works if someone meets you there.

If you want to do some of your own work around regulation and repair, download my free flooding resource. It’s a solid first step: https://drkkolmes.com/flooding/ 💙

Healthy arguments aren’t about competition. They’re about collaboration.Not “me vs. you” But “us vs. the problem.”You do...
06/05/2025

Healthy arguments aren’t about competition. They’re about collaboration.

Not “me vs. you” But “us vs. the problem.”

You don’t have to give up your truth. But you DO have to make space for theirs.

Follow for more relationship tools that help you stay connected, even when things get hard 💙

Repair doesn’t come from winning the story! 🤯It comes from understanding each other’s emotional experience.Let me know i...
05/29/2025

Repair doesn’t come from winning the story! 🤯

It comes from understanding each other’s emotional experience.

Let me know if you found this helpful 💙

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