Relationship Skills for People of All Genders and Orientations

Relationship Skills for People of All Genders and Orientations Relationship Skills Workshops offered online for people of all genders and orientations. Why Repair When You Can Prepare? You are also who I want to reach.

Relationship Skills for People of All Genders and Orientations
I am so excited to announce an upcoming offering that I am putting together for all of the people who have reached out to me over the years from states I am not licensed to practice in. I have wished I had a way to help support you in improving your relationships when I can only see a limited number of therapy clients and I cannot practice outside of the state of California. I am offering a skills-building workshop/club for people of all genders and orientations that will teach you all of the tools people learn in couples and relationship therapy, and hopefully do it in a way that helps you prepare for conflict rather than try to repair things after it has happened. People spend thousands of dollars or more on relationship therapy, often waiting until it’s too late to seek counseling. At a minimum, partners who see me for ten sessions spend about $4500 on relationship therapy. But most distressed couples need more than ten sessions. Many people need at least six months of therapy, especially when they are recovering from multiple relationship ruptures or they have developed dysfunctional patterns that need significant effort to change. If you’re reading this and you’re thinking, “Wait, I’m pretty happy in my relationship,” then that’s great news! Consider this workshop an investment that could potentially help you avoid the most common relationship problems, improve your communication and empathy, and help identify when you should get help before serious damage has harmed your relationships. Research shows that people in relationships wait an average of 6 years after the first signs of relationship distress to get help. Don’t let that be you! Prepare now so that you can recognize what the signs are and learn the tools that will help keep your love alive. And trust me, these exercises are much more fun and useful to building your relationship skills when you are still in the foundational stages of your love. I am offering safe but engaging workshops that will help you learn how to assess the current state of health of your relationship(s), practice skills to enhance connection and positivity, and identify when you may need additional help. Since you will not be coming in with things already broken, this gives us the opportunity to use our time with me teaching you the tools and exercises that can take many sessions to integrate with distressed people. YOU’LL LEARN:
*How to avoid the four biggest predictors of relationship distress;
*How to understand your attachment styles and how these may come into play during times of conflict;
*How to identify your (and your partner’s) preferred ways of giving and receiving love;
*How to approach difficult conversations and repair ruptures in your relationship;
*How to take these skills home and continue to work on increasing the love and connection in your relationships. This group is especially welcoming of LGBTQ folks, people of color, polyamorous people, s*x workers and their partners, and kinksters. All participants are advised that members should not be actively addicted to any substance at the time of the Intensive training and that relationships be free of abuse, intimidation, and domestic violence. You will not have to worry about coming into a room with a therapist/teacher or attendees who don’t “get” who you are. Individuals and single people are welcome, and couples, triads, and polycules are especially encouraged to attend together to get the additional benefit of practicing in the workshop and to enhance skill building post-workshop. You will leave with ideas and materials to help you continue to work on your partnership(s). These intensive trainings will be fun, informative, bonding, and educational. Some of it may be challenging, and parts of it will feel like play. You will learn together, and you will leave with a clearer awareness of how to better nurture your romantic relationships.

Have you ever left a conversation with your partner thinking, “We talked about it… so why do I still feel unseen?” 👀If t...
09/18/2025

Have you ever left a conversation with your partner thinking, “We talked about it… so why do I still feel unseen?” 👀

If the words sound right but the connection feels missing, it doesn’t always mean your partner is being manipulative. Often, it’s that they never learned how to communicate in a way that actually creates safety and trust.

They may be going through the motions because it’s what they know, not because they don’t care.

I’ll be sharing something later this year designed to help you and your partner(s) build the skills to communicate as a true team. Be sure to follow me here so you don’t miss it! ❤️

That discomfort you’re feeling doesn’t automatically mean something’s wrong.❤️ Sometimes it just means you care.❤️ Somet...
09/14/2025

That discomfort you’re feeling doesn’t automatically mean something’s wrong.

❤️ Sometimes it just means you care.
❤️ Sometimes it taps on past wounds.
❤️ Sometimes it points to a need for clarity.

The real question is: what do you do with those feelings?

Because the goal isn’t to erase them or make your partner responsible for them.

The goal is to stay in connection (with yourself and with them) while holding space for honesty, vulnerability, and security to grow.

✔️ You can talk about this without shaming them.
✔️ You can explore your needs without asking them to cut someone off.
✔️ You can hold both things: your discomfort and your values.

It starts with reflection. Then comes the conversation.

Let me know if you found this helpful.

If this is what my relationship course did for another psychotherapist, imagine what it can do for you! 🤯Later this year...
09/11/2025

If this is what my relationship course did for another psychotherapist, imagine what it can do for you! 🤯

Later this year, I’m launching a new and improved self-paced version of the course so you can access the tools, reflection prompts, and communication strategies in your own time, at your own pace.

This course is for anyone who wants:

More ease in navigating conflict

Communication that actually lands

Stronger, more connected relationships

Be sure to follow me so you don’t miss the launch. I can’t wait to share what I’ve been building!

So… something exciting is on the way! 🎉I’m turning my most popular course into a solo study experience, launching later ...
09/07/2025

So… something exciting is on the way! 🎉

I’m turning my most popular course into a solo study experience, launching later this year!

Whether you’re single, partnered, or in a web of relationships, this course is designed to help you:

✔️ Communicate with more clarity and care

✔️ Navigate conflict without losing connection

✔️ Understand your own needs and patterns

✔️ Build the kind of relationships that feel good to be in

I can’t wait to share more. Be sure to follow so you don’t miss it ❤️

You don’t owe your new partner a detailed history but offering context, transparency, and room for questions can go a lo...
09/04/2025

You don’t owe your new partner a detailed history but offering context, transparency, and room for questions can go a long way.

It’s not about proving you’re trustworthy.
It’s about creating the kind of safety where that trust can grow.

💬 How would/do you feel about your partner still being friends with their ex?

If you’re the fixer in your relationship, you probably care very deeply ❤️You want your partner to feel better. You want...
08/28/2025

If you’re the fixer in your relationship, you probably care very deeply ❤️

You want your partner to feel better. You want to help.

But when you jump into solution-mode too quickly, it can leave them feeling unseen, even if your heart is in the right place.

Being supportive doesn’t always mean solving the problem.
Sometimes, it means sitting beside it.

Let me know if you found this helpful.

We’ve been taught that love looks like fixing things ❤️But sometimes, love is just staying in the room.Not rushing to ex...
08/21/2025

We’ve been taught that love looks like fixing things ❤️

But sometimes, love is just staying in the room.

Not rushing to explain, or make it better, or wrap it in a neat little bow.

How do you tend to respond when your partner shares something hard?

P.S. If you want to learn how to be a more supportive partner, I’m launching something later this year that you’ll LOVE!

Listening to reply is about reacting. Listening to understand is about receiving.It takes practice to pause your own tho...
08/14/2025

Listening to reply is about reacting. Listening to understand is about receiving.

It takes practice to pause your own thoughts long enough to hear someone else clearly! But that’s where connection lives — in the space where you’re not trying to fix, defend, or jump ahead.

How good do you think you are at listening to understand? 🤔

There’s no one right way to structure a polyamorous relationship.But having some language for the different possibilitie...
08/10/2025

There’s no one right way to structure a polyamorous relationship.
But having some language for the different possibilities can help clarify expectations, prevent misunderstandings, and open up more honest conversations.

Here are a few common structures people use. (Remember, these aren’t rules, they’re reference points!)

💞 Hierarchical: One or more “primary” partners hold priority (emotionally, logistically, or structurally), with other relationships considered “secondary” or “tertiary.”

💞 Non-hierarchical: No relationship is formally prioritised over another. All partners may be considered equal in emotional or logistical significance.

💞 Solo polyamory: A person maintains autonomy and typically doesn’t seek to merge lives (e.g. no nesting, co-parenting, or shared finances), while still having multiple intimate relationships.

💞 Kitchen table polyamory: Emphasis on community and connection — ideally, all partners can comfortably sit around the same table. Not all are romantically or s*xually involved with each other.

💞 Parallel polyamory: Partners are aware of each other but have limited or no interaction. Boundaries are often clearer, and independence is prioritised.

💞 Relationship anarchy: Rejects labels and pre-set roles. Each relationship is defined on its own terms, free from social hierarchy or norms.

These models aren’t fixed.

Some people shift between them over time, or mix elements from multiple styles.

The key is intentionality — defining your relationship by consent, not assumption.

Be sure to share if you found this interesting! ❤️



A blue-toned graphic titled “What are the different types of polyamorous relationship structures?” shows six illustrated heart clusters, each labeled with a different structure: Hierarchical, Non-hierarchical, Solo polyamory, Kitchen table polyamory, Parallel polyamory, and Relationship anarchy. Text at the bottom reads: “Full descriptions of each in the caption!” and the handle @‌drkkolmes is displayed.

Instead of arguing about whether hierarchies are “good” or “bad,” we might do better to ask:🤔 Is this structure helping ...
08/07/2025

Instead of arguing about whether hierarchies are “good” or “bad,” we might do better to ask:

🤔 Is this structure helping or hurting the people in it?
🤔 Is it based on fear, or on care?
🤔 And is it open to evolving as your relationships do?

What do you think?



Description: A photo series shows three people sitting together on stone steps outside a building. They're relaxed, wearing sunglasses, and appear to be in a comfortable, connected dynamic. White floral line art overlays each image. The text explores the topic of hierarchy in polyamorous relationships — acknowledging both the clarity it can offer and the pain it can cause. The slides offer reflection questions, affirm both hierarchical and non-hierarchical experiences, and invite conversation about how relationship structures impact care, consent, and connection. The final slide asks: “What do you think?”

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