12/05/2025
Service and Self-Care
For the month of December, the Institute residents chose to focus on the practice of “service and self-care.” It’s a powerful pairing, because many of us struggle to discern when to extend ourselves in service and when to honor our own genuine needs. We grow up absorbing mixed messages: a strong work ethic shaped by the “keep pushing” culture of American life, ideals of sacrifice embedded in Judeo-Christian traditions, and the Yogic emphasis on selfless service. It’s no wonder we often find ourselves conflicted.
Depending on our mental state, we may slip into unhealthy narratives such as, “Why should I have to do this? It’s not fair,” or its opposite, “I should do this—this will prove how good I am.” Though they appear different, both arise from comparison, self-judgment, and the ego’s desire to secure approval. This ego-driven striving can make service feel like a performance rather than a natural expression of compassion.
Selfless service is indeed a cornerstone of Yoga in action, and when understood properly, it brings deep joy and meaning. But true service never asks us to abandon our own well-being; it includes us in the circle of care. When we override our needs out of obligation or image-maintaining, we inevitably drift toward exhaustion, resentment, and compensatory self-centeredness. In this way, self-denial can feed the very ego patterns we hoped to transcend.
Conversely, when we consider our needs with clarity and honesty, it may feel unfamiliar or even self-indulgent. Yet an infant naturally expresses its needs without hesitation, reminding us that honoring our well-being is not selfish—it is simply human. Caring for
ourselves is what allows us to serve with steadiness, spaciousness, and wholehearted attention.
Sri Swami Satchidananda expresses this wisdom beautifully in The Golden Present: “You yourself should know how much you can give. You cannot give beyond your capacity. If you have done a lot of service that day, and if you are really tired, you should say no. Otherwise you are saying no to your own body or mind.”
Finding the right balance between service and self-care is an ongoing practice. Meditation and daily awareness help us recognize when we are drifting toward overextension or sliding into self-absorption. As we observe our tendencies with compassion, we learn when to soften toward ourselves and when to stretch outward to support others.
