05/04/2020
One of my life lessons I'd love to share :)
Title: "Are you pregnant?"
Earlier today, I hear a knock on my office door, I open and it's my mailwoman:
Me: Hi, nice to see you!
Her: Are you pregnant? (looking straight at my belly)
Me: No, I'm just got fatter. (w/ a smile, rubbing my belly, calmly and confidently)
*long pause as I look at, what appears as a surprised response from her face.
Her: Oh..........ok........ I was happy there for a second, thinking that you are.
Me: I already have 2 babies, it's perfect. (while my fur babies, Lily and Daisy staring at her from behind me lol)
Her: Ok..... bye (and and swiftly heads off).
Closed my office door and finally let out the biggest laugh I was holding back 😂🤣😂🤣
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I wanted to share this experience(if you wish to indulge in this post) with the intention to either make you laugh and/or if any of you ladies(and men with the actual lesson part) can relate, hope this helps you on your journey and you can borrow my response and observe the reaction(not just theirs and also yours). It's pretty fascinating.
*This is not the first time someone has asked me straight out if I am pregnant. It's happened with patients, store employees, etc...on a handful of occasions in the past years.
Here are some of the triggers of why they asked me, "Are you pregnant?":
*I'm rubbing my belly out of habit (because I just ate feeling satisfied and when I was little my mommy, or was it grandma? I forget! Told me that rubbing my belly will help me digest faster)
-no joke, one time a patient asked me, while in the treatment room, I didn't even realize I was rubbing my belly. I replied with, "no, just ate lunch and feeling extra full. thanks for asking though!" (she had a look of relief and said "oh, that happens to you too?) I cracked up and said, "yes, I too am human" :)
*I've gained weight and my belly area is the popular spot it hangs out at(and if I'm bloated from something I ate that didn't agree with me or simply just pms, my belly will look even bigger) often fitted shirts will beautifully outline every aspect of "The Belly". I won't get into heavy details as to why the weight gains/losses, as it changes with phases of my life, I will say that even practicing what I preach as far as health and fitness to the best of my ability, there are times my body will direct me into directions for which I don't have complete control of (at least on a conscience level). ie. Hormones, whether you like it or not, our hormones evolves and transitions into different phases of life. I've learned that listening and cooperating with my body is so much more beneficial than fighting it.
*It's a "normal" question to ask someone that's married, as if that is the mandatory next step in a marriage( and after the 1st kid, next question is, when are you having another one?). Reminder: this is just my observation from my own experience. In fact, growing up, I also had this belief that "this was the way" until I realized that I can freely choose another way. And that new belief introduced me to a whole ballpark of other responses/reactions....including mine, more life lessons. ( One of these days, I'll share this on another post).
So I totally get that these people who asked me the question wasn't trying to be mean, or making fun of me in any way, in fact, I think they may have projected a sense of "good news" if I actually said yes and when I said no, they were either disappointed or they may assume that I will eventually (again, this is another conversation for another post lol).
But, my initial reactions to earlier experiences, years ago, of people asking me if I was pregnant, left me feeling upset, annoyed, violated, and self-conscious about my physical appearance.
MY LESSON: Over 14 years of working with so many patients/clients, to help them navigate/release negative emotion/limiting beliefs/triggers= EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE, I was very aware that my initial reactions, years ago, was my own emotional baggage around how I see/accept and what I think others see/judge my physical appearance, specifically with weight gain AND Loss. I include weight loss because when I was at 14% body fat and what I thought looked good, like a lean mean fighting machine, I still got criticism for that(ie. too skinny, too manly, too sickly, too this, too that).
So the big AHA with this was that I got clear with a belief that I used to have: NO MATTER WHAT WEIGHT I WAS AT AND WHAT I LOOKED LIKE, I JUST WOULDN'T BE GOOD ENOUGH, period.
To make this a Lesson, instead of keeping this very negative/unsupportive belief a lifelong "pain" that would keep eating away at my self esteem and vitality, I needed to let that emotional baggage go(from an unconscious level) and install healthier and positive beliefs that would nurture me and keep me unattached to what others say (or what I think they think).
A great convincer that this became a lesson(and no more trigger) was today! The mailwoman expressed her curiosity, not once ounce of me felt triggered and I happily replied with an answer I thought was fitting. And even saying "I just got fatter" feels totally fine. I set goals and action steps for certain things I want for my health and fitness(things that I love doing before just don't agree with my body anymore, so it's an adventure to find the now routine that it thrives off of), and it's ok that at certain stages, like right now, there is some excess fat to work with.
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Now, don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean I may not have an "in the moment" reaction when someone says something that may rub me the wrong way. My thing is, it's just more important to focus on how I reacted and if I have emotional baggage I need to release, because that's not fun going to sleep with it! And when necessary, enforce boundaries(another conversation for anther post).
There is a saying that the Hawaiians celebrate when baggage comes up, it means the unconscious knows you have the tools/techniques/support to get rid of it! And healing can truly take place! (this is one of the main reasons of why I love my career and getting to do this with others).
Thanks for reading! Cheers to living a fulfilling life full of love, fun, laughter, and lessons to better us in every way!💗
