05/05/2025
nfertility is hard. Your words can either lift someone up or unintentionally add to their pain. Here’s a guide on what to say—and what not to say—to someone facing infertility.
What to Say:
“I’m here for you.”
Let them know you’re available to support them, whether they need to talk or simply have company.
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I’m praying for you.”
Acknowledge that you may not fully understand, but you’re there for them in spirit.
“Would you like to talk about it, or would you prefer space?”
Respect their emotional needs. Some may want to share, others may need time to process.
“How can I support you during this time?”
Offering support allows them to express what they truly need, whether it's a distraction or help with day-to-day tasks.
“You are so strong for going through this.”
Acknowledge their strength in facing this difficult journey. Infertility is tough, and validating their resilience can mean a lot.
What Not to Say:
“Just relax, it’ll happen when you least expect it.”
This can feel dismissive. Infertility is not about relaxing; it’s a difficult and complex medical disease (Source: WHO) issue that can’t be solved so simply.
“Have you tried [insert method]?”
Offering unsolicited advice can make them feel pressured or misunderstood. Wait until they ask for suggestions.
“It’s God’s will, just trust His timing.”
This can minimize the emotional weight they carry and may feel invalidating during a time of deep grief.
“There are other ways to have children, like adoption.”
Adoption is wonderful, but adoption is not a means to end infertility. Trust that they will hear God call them to adoption if that is God's will for them.
“At least you’re not dealing with [insert other hardship].”
Comparing struggles can be hurtful. Validate their pain without diminishing it by comparison.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” – Romans 12:15
