Anger Management Specialists

05/04/2025

Please, eat.

04/02/2025

... And Facebook and Instagram posts aren’t therapy, but there are amazing therapists who can help.

04/02/2025

WHY DO WE CHASE PEOPLE WHO DO NOT CHOOSE US?? Things I learned in therapy:

The nervous system doesn’t chase love—it chases what’s familiar. If inconsistency or emotional distance felt normal growing up, your body will register it as home, even when it hurts.

2. Anxious attachment isn’t about being needy—it’s about being wired for connection without having felt secure in it. Chasing becomes a survival strategy: “If I can stay close, I’ll stay safe.”

3. You’re not obsessed with them—you’re trying to resolve an old wound through them. The chase often has less to do with the person and more to do with proving you’re finally worth staying for.

4. You learned to confuse intensity with intimacy. The emotional highs and lows mimic the early nervous system spikes of unpredictable caregiving. Calm feels suspicious. Chaos feels like love.

5. The brain interprets emotional unavailability as a problem to solve, not a red flag to walk away from. Especially if love once had conditions—you may feel compelled to earn it, fix it, or prove yourself.

6. The part of you that keeps reaching is still waiting for repair. Until that inner younger part feels seen and safe, your adult self will keep reenacting the story: “Maybe this time, I’ll be chosen.”

7. Avoidant partners often reinforce anxious attachment cycles. Their distance activates your pursuit. Your pursuit affirms their fear of engulfment. Neither person feels safe, but both feel stuck.

8. Chasing helps you feel in control—but control is not the same as connection. When we fear abandonment, it’s easier to keep trying than to sit with the grief of being unmet.

Real love doesn’t require you to earn it, chase it, or abandon yourself for it. And the more safety you build within, the less you’ll feel drawn to what doesn’t know how to choose you back.

✨ And Facebook and Instagram posts aren’t therapy, but there are amazing therapists who can help.

03/20/2025

Things to say instead of escalating an argument:

1. “I’m listening. Help me understand what you’re feeling.”
👉 It shows willingness to hear their perspective without judgment.

2. “I see your point, and I want to work through this together.”
👉 Acknowledges their feelings and reinforces teamwork.

3. “I’m feeling overwhelmed—can we take a break and come back to this?”
👉 Prevents emotional flooding and ensures a more productive convo.

4. “I care about you, and this argument doesn’t change that.”
👉 Reassures love and security, even in disagreement.

5. “I don’t want to win this argument—I want us to understand each other.”
👉 Shifts the focus from competition to connection.

6. “I can see how that hurt you. I’m really sorry.”
👉 Takes accountability without getting defensive.

7. “I know I reacted strongly—let me try that again.”
👉 Models self-awareness and emotional regulation.

8. “I don’t have the right words right now, but I’m trying to work this out with you.”
👉 Validates their feelings even when struggling to express your own.

9. “I didn’t mean to dismiss you. Can you tell me more?”
👉 Shows openness to correction and deeper understanding.

10. “Let’s find a solution that works for both of us.”
👉 Encourages collaboration instead of blame.

11. “No matter what, I’m here for you.”
👉 Reassures stability and emotional safety.

03/11/2025

Breaking up with a friend: Trust your instincts when outgrowing a friendship.
Try having an honest, respectful conversation where you explain that you've noticed a shift in your lives and interests, and that while you cherish the memories, you feel it's best to gradually distance yourselves from the friendship; focus on expressing your feelings without blaming them, and acknowledge the positive aspects of the relationship while clearly communicating your need to move on. - You're going to be ok!

01/27/2025

01/11/2025

01/11/2025

07/17/2024

"Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments."

Love this quote.

06/18/2024

Q-TIP (Quit Taking It Personal)