10/24/2025
Family is where so many of our stories begin.
It’s where we first learn about love, safety, conflict, and connection.
It’s also where we often take on roles—sometimes without even realizing it—that shape how we show up in the world.
In family systems work, there are a few common roles that tend to emerge:
✨ The Black Sheep / Troublemaker
✨ The Lost Child
✨ The Peacemaker
✨ The Clown
✨ The Caretaker / Enabler
✨ The Golden Child
✨ The Doer
✨ The Martyr
These roles aren’t who you are—they’re adaptive patterns you may have taken on to keep your family functioning or to cope with stress, trauma, or unspoken expectations.
Over time, though, these patterns can become ingrained, carrying into adulthood and shaping your relationships, boundaries, and even your sense of self.
The good news? You’re not defined by your role.
Awareness is the first step toward change. When you can name and understand these patterns, you open space to release what no longer serves you, reconnect with your authentic self, and rewrite the way you relate—to yourself and to others.
As you swipe through this post, reflect for a moment:
💭 Which role(s) feel familiar?
💭 How might they have helped you survive or feel safe?
💭 What would it look like to step outside of that role and simply be you?
As a trauma and Brainspotting therapist, I believe that while our past shapes us, it doesn’t have to define us.
Healing family dynamics can bring deeper connection, greater freedom, and a chance to live from your truest self.
You are more than a role.
You are whole, worthy, and capable of creating a new story. 🤍
