The Humble Pie-Let’s start from scratch

05/01/2026

Somewhere along the way I noticed that the music people claimed told me something.

The song they defended a little too hard. The album they went back to when things got quiet.

When you grow up in a world that doesn’t know how to read you, you learn to read everyone else. It keeps you safe. It keeps you useful. And it keeps you from ever having to stand still long enough for someone to turn the mirror around.

The loneliest seat in the room is knowing exactly what everyone else is carrying and never once letting anyone hear yours.

What’s actually on your playlist? Not the one that looks good. The real one. Drop it in the comments. 👇

Your Spotify don’t lie. Even when you do.

Video series link in comments.

04/29/2026

Everyone wants to talk about forgiveness.
But forced forgiveness, demanded before you're ready, performed for the comfort of everyone watching, that's not healing.
That's another compliance.
Repair is something quieter and more honest than forgiveness. It starts with learning to recognize capacity.
This is episode 6 of the Moral Injury Series. Series link in comments.

04/22/2026

Something I kept running into, people carrying something they didn’t have a name for yet.
This is Episode 1 of my Moral Injury Series. It starts with a memory from when I was five years old, watching TV while my mom ironed clothes, and what she said that day turned out to be the most precise description of trauma recovery I have ever heard.
If you’ve ever felt like the truth was right there but you could only take it in a little at a time, this one’s for you.
1:1 Coaching available, visit eathumblepies.com
The series link is in the first comment.

04/21/2026

I spent a long time not having a word for what I was carrying.
This tile is from a blog post I just published about moral injury, what it actually is, how it gets installed, how it hides, and what repair looks like when forgiveness isn’t the right answer yet.
If you’ve ever followed all the rules and still ended up hurt, this one’s for you.
Link in the first comment.

04/17/2026

Most people find one album that names the thing nobody in their actual life would say out loud.

And they set up camp there.

For me it was Pink Floyd. The Wall named the system, the way shame gets built in, the way we brick ourselves in so carefully that one day we can’t remember which side we’re actually on.

But here’s what I learned. The Wall is a doorway. Not a destination.

What’s the album that named it for you? Did you set up camp, or did you go deeper?

🥧 Your Spotify Don’t Lie series is live. Link in first comment.

04/15/2026

Everyone told you that you were doing great.
They weren’t wrong. You were. You just can’t stop.

That’s not ambition. That’s a nervous system that learned love had conditions.

The Golden Child doesn’t have a problem with failure. They have a problem with rest. Being ordinary. With asking the question, nobody ever helped them ask: is this what I want, or is this just the version of me that got love?

Achieving everything. Feeling like none of it counts. That’s not ingratitude. That’s the trap.

This one is for everyone who’s competent and exhausted and can’t figure out why nothing ever feels like enough. 🐛🦋

Family Archtype Series link in first comment

04/13/2026

You learned a role before you learned who you were. This is why you still play it.
The Scapegoat. The Golden Child. The Black Sheep. The Clown. The Caretaker. The Lost Child.
Which one did your family need you to be? And more importantly, which one are you still being?
This is the Family Archetypes Series. The link for the series is in the first comment.

04/10/2026

04/08/2026

I walked into that classroom every day already knowing where I was going to sit.

Not because anyone told me to.

Because the system already had.

This post is about the scapegoat role and what it looks like inside a classroom, inside a family, inside a nervous system that learned early that its existence was the problem.

And what becomes possible when you finally stop sitting in a seat that was never actually yours.

Link in first comment.

04/06/2026

You were hurt. And you hurt someone.
Not one because of the other.
Not one canceling the other.
Both.
Simultaneously. In the same story.

This is the episode most people will want to skip. It’s also the one that changes everything.🐛🦋

Because the whole truth, as hard as it is to hold, is the only place healing actually lives.

Episode 4 of Am I The Problem is live. Link in the first comment.

04/03/2026

We've all heard it.
Most of us have probably said it.
That's not an apology.
That's deflection wearing an apology's clothes.
A real apology comes with two things….a change in behavior and genuine curiosity about the impact.

Not curiosity as a performance. Actual "what did that do to you" curiosity.

Watch what happens to someone's accountability when the consequence actually arrives. That's when you find out if it was real.

Episode 3 of Am I The Problem is live.

Link in the first comment.

04/01/2026

Shame will keep you up at night. It will make you feel terrible. It will convince you that suffering is the same as changing.
It isn’t.
I learned this the hard way... in a completely ordinary moment involving a sick teenager, DoorDash, and hair dye with zero concern for color matching.
The shame trap is everywhere. And most of us don’t even know we’re in it.
New essay is up. Link in the first comment. 😎