Harvey Center for Relationships

Harvey Center for Relationships What we seek in our partner is connection. Deep, relaxed, secure connection is the springboard to passion.

We help couples re-connect and stay connected by enhancing the positive, eliminating the negative and becoming each other's advocate. As Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists and certified Imago Relationship Therapists, we have helped hundreds of couples turn their marriage around and achieve lasting romance. Duane was trained by Harville Hendrix (author of Getting the Love You Want) in 1991. Additionally, Thea is a certified Kundalini yoga and meditation teacher. Married for over ten years, we practice together out of our home a few blocks up from the beach in beautiful Santa Monica. Every day we embody the relationship principals that we advocate for our clients.

What if s*xual problems in couples aren’t about desire… but about the nervous system?Most couples don’t lose erotic conn...
03/21/2026

What if s*xual problems in couples aren’t about desire… but about the nervous system?

Most couples don’t lose erotic connection because they stop trying. They lose it because their bodies stop feeling safe enough to experience it.

And as therapists, our nervous systems are part of the clinical equation.

I’ll be speaking with the Southern California Imago Therapists on The Erotic Nervous System.

In this interactive talk, I’ll explore how performance, shame, and s*xual wounding shape erotic life—and why therapist regulation is essential for helping couples move from effortful s*x into embodied erotic aliveness.

We’ll go beyond theory and into experience—tracking what happens in our own bodies when s*xuality enters the room.

Because we can’t guide couples somewhere our nervous system hasn’t learned to go.

03/14/2026

Try this partner stretch to build trust, balance, and connection.

Stand face-to-face about an arm’s length apart. Hold your partner’s left wrist, lean gently to your right, and let your bodies counterbalance one another.

Extend your outer arm and open your chest. Take a few slow breaths and check in with each other about comfort and balance.

Lift your extended arm overhead, bring it forward, and take your partner’s right wrist. Release the left wrist, extend your left arm outward, and repeat on the other side.

To finish, hold both wrists and lean back into a gentle V-shape, supporting each other’s weight.

Breathe deeply, then slowly return to standing. Release your partner’s wrists—and thank them.

Single? You can practice a similar heart-opening stretch by clasping your hands behind your back and gently lifting your chest.

HarveyCenterforRelationships

03/08/2026

Try this simple partner exercise to decrease anxiety and build connection.

Stand facing each other and hold your partner’s wrists at shoulder height. Slowly lean back until you counterbalance one another, forming a V-shape.

Check in verbally about pressure and balance as you move.

The pose opens the shoulders, neck, and heart center while inviting partners to trust and support one another.

When you’re ready, slowly return to standing, release your wrists, and thank your partner.

Single? Open your heart center too—stand tall, clasp your hands behind your back, and gently lift your chest and arms.

Save this post to try together later.

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Move Together March
Breathe TogetherTry this: Sit comfortably facing each other, or lie side by side with your heads on ...
03/05/2026

Move Together March
Breathe Together

Try this: Sit comfortably facing each other, or lie side by side with your heads on a pillow and your spines straight. Gently bring your foreheads together.

Synchronize your breath so you and your partner inhale and exhale at the same time.
This simple couples meditation helps co-regulate your nervous systems and build attunement.
Breathe together for a minute or two.

Then release your foreheads. Notice what shifts when you breathe together.

Single? Slow down, take a few deep breaths. Notice how your body feels.


 
 
 


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As we step into a new month, I’m inviting you to explore connection through shared movement.Movement co-regulates.
Movem...
03/01/2026

As we step into a new month, I’m inviting you to explore connection through shared movement.

Movement co-regulates.
Movement restores play.
Movement can rekindle attraction.

When we walk side by side, play tennis, stretch before bed, give one another a massage, or simply breathe together, we strengthen attunement. Connection doesn’t require performance - just presence.

Single? This is for you too. Moving intentionally—alone or in community—deepens your relationship with your own body and capacity for connection.

Join me this month for simple embodied practices you can explore together.

Let’s move—toward presence, safety, and aliveness.

One of the most practical lessons I learned from s*x educators during my PhD training in clinical s*xology was this: use...
02/24/2026

One of the most practical lessons I learned from s*x educators during my PhD training in clinical s*xology was this: use more lubricant.

Many challenges around comfort, arousal, and s*xual satisfaction improve when couples use copious amounts of l**e.

Explore and discover what feels best for your body. There are many options on the market, and what works beautifully for one person may not work for another. Lubricant should feel good—enhancing pleasure, ease, and sensation. If it stings, burns, or feels uncomfortable in any way, discontinue use and try a different option.

Single? Lubricant can also enhance solo pleasure—supporting exploration, comfort, and connection with your own body.

How you want to be touched is a vital part of sacred intimacy. Woven into that exploration is consent—and yes, consent c...
02/19/2026

How you want to be touched is a vital part of sacred intimacy. Woven into that exploration is consent—and yes, consent can be very s*xy.

Asking for consent communicates respect and care. It brings clarity, lowers anxiety, and builds trust. And when anxiety softens, connection deepens. Feeling embodied and safe is the foundation of erotic ecstasy.

Something as simple as asking, “May I hold your hand?” creates safety. Asking your partner how they want to be touched opens the door to curiosity, pleasure, and deeper connection.

Need help starting the conversation? Explore our Erotic Menus to support playful, consent-based intimacy. 👉 Click the link in our bio.

Single? Consent also begins with yourself - listening to your body, honoring your pace, and choosing how you want to be touched.

*xtherapy

Couples often bristle at the idea of scheduling intimacy. Yet in our busy, demanding lives, if something isn’t on the ca...
02/13/2026

Couples often bristle at the idea of scheduling intimacy. Yet in our busy, demanding lives, if something isn’t on the calendar, it often doesn’t happen.

Scheduling intimacy creates something to anticipate—a bespoke rendezvous you can look forward to together. Too often, couples in long-term relationships find themselves wondering when they’ll have s*x, and that uncertainty quietly erodes desire and connection.

Pro tip: Put intimacy on the calendar.
Choose a time that genuinely works for both of you—often earlier in the day, when energy and desire are higher, rather than late after dinner when you’re full and tired. Even talking about when to connect can become part of the erotic build-up. Learn more by clicking the link in my bio.

Single? This applies to you too. When during the day do you feel the most frisky, alive, or turned on? Notice your natural rhythms and make space to honor them. Sacred intimacy begins with attunement—to your body, your desire, and your pleasure.

Make your space s*x-ready.
Piles of laundry, family photos, or harsh lighting can dim the erotic mood.Part of keeping lo...
02/08/2026

Make your space s*x-ready.

Piles of laundry, family photos, or harsh lighting can dim the erotic mood.

Part of keeping long-term love sizzling is preparing your environment so you can relax, feel safe, and feel sensual. Small, intentional shifts can make a meaningful difference—softening the lighting, diffusing essential oils, locking the door.

You might even play with something unexpected, like a black light or colored bulbs, to completely alter the vibe of the room.

Take a look around your bedroom and ask yourself: What would help me feel more sensual in this space?

Music is another powerful aphrodisiac—what songs turn you on?

Incorporating sensual elements helps your scheduled, bespoke intmacy feel intentional—distinct from everyday life.

Single? This applies to you too.
What lighting, scents, and music help you feel aroused, present, and connected to your body?

Why focus on intimacy in long-term love?
Why not let this part of your relationship - or life - quietly fade?At Harvey C...
02/05/2026

Why focus on intimacy in long-term love?
Why not let this part of your relationship - or life - quietly fade?

At Harvey Center for Relationships, we understand s*xual pleasure as an essential part of overall health, well-being, and self-determination. When personal s*xual health and pleasure are avoided, the impact is often felt not only in the relationship, but in one’s sense of self and self-acceptance.

We all carry some degree of s*xual wounding - that’s part of being in a human body.

When you explore your erotic self with love, patience, and understanding, you embark on a deeply healing—and potentially ecstatic—journey. Committed relationships uniquely hold this possibility.

Very few couples reach the physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy I’m describing—not because it’s unattainable, but because many give up on it as a possibility. Of course, letting go is always an option.

But together, you can also choose to create something truly magical.

Single? Empower yourself to know what turns you on and how you like to be touched.

Follow along this month for reflections and practical guidance on cultivating sacred intimacy.

f*ck it february was inspired by Dr. Sally Greenwald, an OB who specializes in women’s s*xual health. She often prescrib...
02/01/2026

f*ck it february was inspired by Dr. Sally Greenwald, an OB who specializes in women’s s*xual health. She often prescribes s*x to help patients increase desire and libido. Research shows that the more s*x you have, the more s*x you want.

She encourages her patients, during the month of February, to have s*x three times a week. For some, that may feel too ambitious; for others, it may be a worthy (and exciting) challenge.
Let this month be an invitation to focus on your intimacy. I’ll be sharing gentle prompts to help you cultivate this as a sacred part of your connection. DM your partner to get the conversation started.

Single? This is an invitation for you, too—to connect with what turns you on and brings you alive.

*xtherapy

Address

2803 Highland Avenue
Santa Monica, CA
90405

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 9pm
Tuesday 9am - 9pm
Wednesday 9am - 9pm
Thursday 9am - 9pm
Friday 9am - 12pm

Telephone

+13109484727

Website

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