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11/11/2025

November 11
The rewards of truth
Seeking the truth

“The punishment of the liar is that he cannot believe anyone else,” wrote one shrewd philosopher. This is another way of saying that we reap what we sow, or that we tend to judge others by our own actions.

But when we decide to be completely truthful, we are not immediately given the ability to discern whether others are lying or not. It’s more important for us to realize that others’ lies don’t have the power to hurt us permanently if we persevere in the program.

Some people would argue with this, pointing to lies that have hurt innocent people in the past. But having no way of knowing all the facts of these cases, we cannot be the judge.

In our own experience, we’ll find that God alone is the source of all truth and will give us the protection and care we need if we seek truthfulness in everything we do. Any fear of being victimized by lying, we’ll learn, will melt away as we follow this conviction.

I’ll be as discreet as possible today, but I’ll also be truthful. I’ll find that this alone will lessen any fear of being victimized by a liar.

11/10/2025

November 10
Honesty with another person
Admitting wrongs.

A good fifth Step in the program means being entirely hones with at least one person about the nature of our shortcomings. “A burden shared is a burden cut in half” is the principle behind this action.

We can feel relieved that the 12 Step program specifically limits this sharing to “another person”___ though we can obviously add to that if we choose. However, we must be sure to share honestly with that one person, being careful not to gloss over this important Step.

What is the result of this honest sharing? At the very least, it helps us lose the fear that people might know us as we really are. It helps us face the world with confidence and perhaps new humility. Morever, it can strengthen our ability to stay sober. All these gains are certainly reward enough.

If I haven’t been honest with at least one other person, I’ll reread the Fifth Step today. This is something that should be done for my own future safety and well-being.

11/09/2025

November 9

He who can take advice is sometimes superior to he who can give it.
—Karl von Knebel

In recovery, we learn that we don’t know everything. We had stopped listening. Most of us had been asked by family, friends, doctors, and employers to stop drinking and using other drugs. But, we didn’t listen. If we had listened, we would’ve been in this program long ago. Addiction did something to how we listen. We heard only what we wanted to hear. Do I still hear only what I want?

In recovery, we learn to listen. We listen to our groups. We listen to our sponsor. We listen as we read. The better we listen, the better our recovery.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, open my ears and eyes to this new way of life. Allow me to hear Your wisdom in the Twelve Steps. Allow me to be someone who takes advice, not just gives it.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll try to listen. Today I’ll seek the advice to others. I’ll ask my sponsor how I may better my program.

11/08/2025

November 8
True to Ourselves

“This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou ‘canst not then be false to any man.”
—William Shakespeare

To thine own self be true. A grounding statement for those of us who get caught up in the storm of needs and feelings of others.

Listen to the self. What do we need? Are those needs getting met? What do we feel? What do we need to do to take care of our feelings? What are our feelings telling us about ourselves and the direction we need to go?

What do we want to do or say? What are our instincts telling us? Trust them—even if they don’t make sense or meet other people’s rules and expectations.

Sometimes, the demands of other people and our confused expectations of ourselves—the messages about our responsibilities toward others—can create a tremendous, complicated mess.

We can even convince ourselves that people pleasing, going against our nature and not being honest, is the kind, honest thing to do!

Not true. Simplify. Back to basics. Let go of the confusion. By honoring and respecting ourselves, we will be true to those around us, even if we displease them momentarily.

To thine own self be true. Simple words describing a powerful task that can put us back on track.

Today, I will honor, cherish, and love myself. When confused about what to do, I will be true to myself. I will break free of the hold others, and their expectations, have on me.

11/07/2025

November 7

“Telling the truth is a pretty hard thing.”
—Thomas Wolfe.

Often, we get scared to tell the truth. We wonder, “What will happen? Will I get in trouble? Will someone be mad at me?’” These things could happen. But good things could happen, too. Sometimes we want to lie.

We don’t want anyone mad at us or unhappy with us. We want people off our back. So we lie. And it comes back to haunt us. We must believe that the best will happen in the long run if we tell the truth. Our program tells us that we can stay sober if we’re honest. Telling the truth takes faith. We must have faith in the program. We must be honest. Our sobriety and our life depend on it.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me remember that I’m doing things Your way when I tell the truth.

Action for the Day: I will think about what I say today. I will be as honest as I can be.

11/06/2025

November 6

That suit is best that best suits me.
—John Clark

How much time do we spend trying to “fit in?” Many of us used to care too much what other people thought about us—our clothes, our ideas, our work. Did we drink the right brand, drive the right car, listen to the right music?

In our program, we still have to watch out for fads and peer pressure. We have to ask ourselves if we’re really in touch with our Higher Power. Are we searching for a sponsor who has inner peace and direction? Or do we look for people who are like our old using friends? As we learn to find our own way of following our Higher Power, we need to be okay with being different.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me be the best me I can be today.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll work to be me—honestly me—to everyone I meet.

11/05/2025

November 05

HALTS
"Remember HALTS. Do not get too hungry, angry, lonely, tired, or serious. When you get overly tired, it is easy to over-react to a situation. Exercise, get enough sleep, write in a journal, and aim for a balanced lifestyle." BRB p. 427

HALT is an acronym that is well known in many Twelve Step programs. It stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired. When we feel out of balance, it's often that one or more of these things are in play. When we become aware of what's going on, we can take the necessary steps to mend ourselves.

There's often an "S" added at the end of HALT that stands for "Serious". It might also stand for "scared" or "sad" or "sick" - feelings or conditions we have had most of our lives, but haven't always identified the effect they've had. When the "S" is happening, it's time to be even gentler with ourselves.

We've learned that ignoring our reality doesn't make it go away. Even long-term ACAs can see their program seemingly fly out the window whenever HALTS isn't addressed. At these especially vulnerable times, the remedies might include connecting with our Higher Power, going to meetings, and talking to other ACAs. We are learning that these things help us have balance in our lives.

On this day I remind myself that when I feel down and don't see what's happening, remembering HALTS and doing the next right thing help me gently take care of myself in the way I deserve.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

11/04/2025

November 4
The Gift of Sensitivity
Facing reality

Some of us complain about being too sensitive, or others may tell us so. This sets us up for all kinds of hurts, both real and imaginary.

In drinking, we actually dulled any sensitivity, though we thought we were expressing more feelings. This dulling of our sensitive nature blinded us to the damage we were doing.

In sobriety, we are learning that sensitivity is a gift that we can channel wisely. It can make us more aware of the feelings and needs of others. It can help us become a part of the group.

Like all gifts, sensitivity has its downside. It can make us vulnerable to problems that do not belong to us, and it can lead us into the trap of worrying about things we can do nothing about. But sensitivity is generally good, and in sobriety we can become better people because of it.

I’ll take great satisfaction today in the full use of my senses, including that part of me that perceives and expresses deep feelings.

11/03/2025

November 03

Step Eleven
"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out." BRB p. 263

In ACA, we begin to get in touch with a loving Higher Power that some of us choose to call God. We realize we have an inner compass that is steering us, and we are not alone.

As we continue to pray and meditate, we often find that the image of our Higher Power changes. This is okay; it is a normal part of growth. We are changing, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. But we are always striving to move forward, seeking what is right for us.

We no longer struggle or fight when we get confused. When we are looking for answers, we stop and smell the roses until they come naturally. We don't let others throw us off. We no longer allow our dysfunctional families to control what we think and say about ourselves and our lives.

Our spiritual path does not need to match anyone else's. We pray for our own knowledge, not the answers for anyone else. If we truly listen, we see that our Inner Children are steering us closer to our Higher Power as they ask to be nurtured and loved. With guidance, we are choosing the next right thing to do for ourselves.

On this day I reach out to the source that is always there when I am open to listening, even if I don't have a specific definition of my beliefs.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

11/02/2025

November 02

Patience
"Another stumbling block involves taking on too much program work at once. Some members who smoke, overeat, and act out sexually might attempt to address all of the conditions at once. For these ACA members, we suggest two program slogans: ‘Easy Does It' and ‘First Things First.'" BRB p. 51

When we first decided to attend an ACA meeting, we entered these rooms alone, scared, angry, or exhausted. We knew we needed to do something, but we didn't know what - that's why we came here. Many of us were looking for ways to change the people in our lives, and we wanted to change them now.

We learned that our family of origin issues and failed relationships didn't happen overnight. We don't need to read every self-help book this week or hand the Laundry List to everybody we know. If we really want to trust that the program is going to work for us, we learn to follow in the footsteps of those who came before us - to slow down and "Take It Easy."

We learn how to take care of ourselves by attending meetings. We pray for the courage to ask someone to be our sponsor or fellow traveler who will help us work the Steps. We stop complicating, analyzing, and debating. We learn to keep the focus on ourselves and "Keep It Simple."

On this day I will remember to be kind to myself and use our slogans, especially "First Things First," "Easy Does It," and "Keep It Simple." They will help me stay grounded.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

11/01/2025

November 1

“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him …”
First half of Step Eleven

Through Step Eleven, we develop a lasting, loving relationship with our Higher Power. Conscious contact means knowing and sensing God in our lives throughout the day.

God is not just an idea. We talk with our Higher Power through prayer. As we meditate, we sense God’s love for us, and we get answers to our questions. When we pray and meditate, we become aware that God is always with us. Our Higher Power becomes our best friend. Our Higher Power is there for advice, support, celebration, comfort.

Prayer for the Day: Dear Higher Power, I pray that our relationship grows stronger every day. I accept the friendship You offer me.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll seek out God through prayer and meditation.

10/31/2025

October 31

False Belief
"The effects of verbal and emotional abuse are hard to comprehend because we never thought to challenge what was said to us or about us until we found ACA. If we were told we were worthless or ignorant as children, we believed it without question." BRB p. 30

For many of us, our caretakers taught us in action and deed that we were worthless. When there was no food, we thought it was because we deserved none. We were bad. We cried alone in our rooms, but eventually learned not to cry when we saw that it made us more vulnerable. We retreated from our bodies and emotions until nothing was left but confusion. The trauma was complete. We had become numbed-out zombies compulsively seeking the next shock to remind us we were still alive.

We now allow ourselves to get angry at those who harmed us and others who knew and did nothing. We journal, we talk to friends. We rage and hit pillows with wiffle bats and scream if we have to, but we don't hold it all in. We let go of blaming ourselves. We know we weren't the cause of what happened.

We now choose to be around those who validate us when we talk about what happened and let go of those who stare blankly as we recount our childhood. We don't spell it out - we just let go.

On this day I choose to talk to those who can truly hear me and let go of those who can't. I know I am worthwhile and deserve to have caring people in my life.

Copyright © 2013 by Adult Children of Alcoholics® & Dysfunctional Families

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