07/07/2025
On Endings and the Nuances of Care
Today I am reflecting on the endings we face as therapists, leaders, and humans – endings that rarely arrive with neat clarity or mutual understanding.
In our work, relationships are never just “professional transactions.” They hold intricate layers of care, growth, transference, countertransference, mutual learning, and sometimes painful disillusionment.
Sometimes, despite years of commitment and genuine care, we recognise that our continued involvement is no longer supportive for the other person – nor sustainable for ourselves.
In these moments, we are asked to hold:
🔹 The grief of letting go without full resolution.
🔹 The pain of being misunderstood, especially when confidentiality prevents explanation.
🔹 The humility to accept our limitations, even with the best intentions and interventions.
🔹 The ethical courage to act protectively, even when it is perceived as rejection or harm.
Termination in therapy is never simple. The most challenging endings often reveal the very dynamics that shaped the individual’s early relational experiences – dynamics of idealisation, devaluation, control, and fear of abandonment – replayed within the therapeutic bond.
As leaders, we speak often about boundaries, humility, and limits. Living them – especially when others observe from outside without knowing the fullness of the process – is another matter entirely.
May we continue to honour the dignity and complexity of endings, holding the intricate nuances of care, growth, and human relationship with as much compassion and integrity as we can bear. And may we extend that same grace to ourselves as we seek to extend to those we serve.
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