Ramblings of A Recoverist

Ramblings of A Recoverist I am 45 years and holding, 19 year veteran of sobriety. I have been up down, high and low, and I take life ONE DAY, sometimes one hour at a time.

Some days are easier than others, annd I STILL have very hard days.

04/07/2026
Uncomfortable
04/07/2026

Uncomfortable

02/08/2026

Alright, let’s really sit with this for a minute, because this is one of those statements that sounds simple on the surface—but when you unpack it, it hits deep.

God knew it would come to this.

Think about that. Not in a scary way. Not in a judgmental way. In a steady way. In a way that says none of this caught Him off guard. Not the detours. Not the mistakes. Not the nights you stayed up staring at the ceiling wondering how things got so far off track.

We like to believe we shocked God with our decisions. Like somehow we went so far off the path that even He was like, “Well… didn’t see that coming.” That’s not how it works. If God is who we say He is, then He saw the whole road before you ever took your first step. The highs. The crashes. The moments where you broke down and questioned everything.

And that’s where the next part matters.

It’s okay.

That doesn’t mean what happened didn’t hurt. It doesn’t mean the consequences aren’t real. It doesn’t mean you didn’t lose something important. It means this moment—right here—is not the end of your story. It’s not proof that you failed beyond recovery. It’s not evidence that you’re disqualified.

It’s a turning point.

People get confused and think faith is about everything going smoothly. But real faith usually shows up when things fall apart. When the plan you had stops working. When the illusion of control gets stripped away and you’re left with nothing but honesty.

That’s when growth actually starts.

And here’s the part most people don’t want to hear: sometimes God allows things to break so you stop trying to fix them your way. Sometimes He lets you reach the end of yourself so you finally lean into Him. Sometimes “this”—the exhaustion, the uncertainty, the humility—is the only place where the real work can begin.

He has a plan.

Not a rushed plan. Not a half-baked plan. Not a plan that depends on you being perfect. A plan that includes redemption, rebuilding, and purpose—even if you can’t see how it connects yet.

So if you’re standing in the middle of something you never thought you’d be in, hear this clearly:

You didn’t mess up beyond repair.
You didn’t ruin your future.
You didn’t outrun grace.

God knew it would come to this.

And it’s okay.

Because He’s not done with you yet.

— j. anthony |

💜
01/26/2026

💜

01/11/2026

God help us.

01/01/2026

This year, I am me, as I was last year
This year, whatever may be, will be.

Time, all things beautiful in His time.
12/27/2025

Time, all things beautiful in His time.

12/25/2025

“It’s times like these we learn to live again…”

11/18/2025

Recently, I was asked by someone close to me as to why I am so into my self discovery. Why is it important to me to know details of my childhood and my past in order to understand myself now. The question was “what is your endgame“? But it’s not that there’s an endgame it’s that I really do want to understand the now and just like history, we need to look back to understand why and where we are today. There is no game, that I am playing in this life. I have no endgame. But it is about being wise, it is about being patient and understanding with myself, and consequently, that allows me to be patient and understanding of others around me. And that, my friends is what’s most important if we could all be a little more understanding and a little more kind to one another. The “endgame “could be wonderful for all of us.



11/15/2025

Seasons, seasons
The changing of seasons
So subtle, so welcomed are they-
Things change, we change
Some better, some worse
New life, a new day



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