Ramblings of A Recoverist

Ramblings of A Recoverist I am 45 years and holding, 19 year veteran of sobriety. I have been up down, high and low, and I take life ONE DAY, sometimes one hour at a time.

Some days are easier than others, annd I STILL have very hard days.

04/29/2026

As I approach my 20th anniversary of sobriety, I find myself really reflecting on these last 20 years or so than I have in a while. I also can’t help but think about the 10 years. I was actively an addiction before that. I no longer feel ashamed for those years, but I am definitely grateful for the years that came after and the years that I’m still living. By know means is this an easy feat because there are days that I still question whether I can go on living the sober life. But then I have to snap out of that and remember that there’s no way that I could not live a sober life because everything I have in this world and everything that I am on this day is because I have been sober.. I’ve made it this far. I think I can make it a little longer. 🙌🏼💪🏼☀️

04/26/2026
Uncomfortable
04/07/2026

Uncomfortable

02/08/2026

Alright, let’s really sit with this for a minute, because this is one of those statements that sounds simple on the surface—but when you unpack it, it hits deep.

God knew it would come to this.

Think about that. Not in a scary way. Not in a judgmental way. In a steady way. In a way that says none of this caught Him off guard. Not the detours. Not the mistakes. Not the nights you stayed up staring at the ceiling wondering how things got so far off track.

We like to believe we shocked God with our decisions. Like somehow we went so far off the path that even He was like, “Well… didn’t see that coming.” That’s not how it works. If God is who we say He is, then He saw the whole road before you ever took your first step. The highs. The crashes. The moments where you broke down and questioned everything.

And that’s where the next part matters.

It’s okay.

That doesn’t mean what happened didn’t hurt. It doesn’t mean the consequences aren’t real. It doesn’t mean you didn’t lose something important. It means this moment—right here—is not the end of your story. It’s not proof that you failed beyond recovery. It’s not evidence that you’re disqualified.

It’s a turning point.

People get confused and think faith is about everything going smoothly. But real faith usually shows up when things fall apart. When the plan you had stops working. When the illusion of control gets stripped away and you’re left with nothing but honesty.

That’s when growth actually starts.

And here’s the part most people don’t want to hear: sometimes God allows things to break so you stop trying to fix them your way. Sometimes He lets you reach the end of yourself so you finally lean into Him. Sometimes “this”—the exhaustion, the uncertainty, the humility—is the only place where the real work can begin.

He has a plan.

Not a rushed plan. Not a half-baked plan. Not a plan that depends on you being perfect. A plan that includes redemption, rebuilding, and purpose—even if you can’t see how it connects yet.

So if you’re standing in the middle of something you never thought you’d be in, hear this clearly:

You didn’t mess up beyond repair.
You didn’t ruin your future.
You didn’t outrun grace.

God knew it would come to this.

And it’s okay.

Because He’s not done with you yet.

— j. anthony |

💜
01/26/2026

💜

01/11/2026

God help us.

01/01/2026

This year, I am me, as I was last year
This year, whatever may be, will be.

Time, all things beautiful in His time.
12/27/2025

Time, all things beautiful in His time.

12/25/2025

“It’s times like these we learn to live again…”

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