I can only imagine that your curiosity about what an Emotional Troubleshooter is has brought you here. I do not call myself a counselor; however, having dealt with the self-deprecating programming I received as a child makes me uniquely skillful in identifying and working with its effects. After many years of feeling inhibited and afraid of risking the expression of my creativity for fear of rejec
tion, ridicule or punishment I have tenaciously struggled during those years to rebuild trust and confidence in my own judgment. How many times have you had the opportunity to risk putting effort into getting promoted in your career or asking that special someone for a date or asking back for something that is borrowed or owed and felt confident if not comfortable doing it? The fact that a decision concerning something that you want rests in someone else’s hands often seems intimidating if you’ve been raised to believe that you should put others ahead of yourself in accordance with parental or social instructions. Even if you do feel entitled to what you may be asking for there still arises a little voice inside that says that it is likely that you probably won’t get what it is you ask for unless you measure up to what someone else wants. Self doubt is an insidious assassin of motivation. It comes from many more places than we might think. With the media telling us what we’re not and who or what we need to be, the demand that we “give something back” to society and the exaggerated emphasis on being “board certified,” academically qualified, “having access,” training, experience, work history, proof of age and identity, just to name a few, is it any wonder that we might feel inadequate, intimidated, unworthy and unmotivated to extend ourselves past our front door? Many of us are stopped dead in our tracks by the demands of other in the face of pursuing what we need for “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” No. I’m not getting political. But it’s important to know that the factors producing self doubt exist in every plane of our existence. Once you understand the mechanism that creates it you can actively work to dissolve it through the reassessment and refocusing of your capabilities. It’s easier than you might think. The purpose of this site is to lay the foundations for understanding how our motivation to do and have what we want is inhibited, if not extinguished daily not only by our childhood programming but a multitude of continuous cultural factors. With our culture, seemingly, over focused on selflessness; yours, our personal sense of value and right to pursue our own idea of happiness, whatever that might be, seems to have been lost in the shuffle to live in harmony with everyone else if not having to live with deference toward others’ preferences. Even our religions promote this same deference. Asking ourselves how this has come to pass would involve a long and convoluted discussion and would only arrive at placing blame on various peoples and components of our culture. This would be a distraction not to mention a drain on the energy we would need to put our lives back on track and into a more personally favorable perspective and creating a venue for rebuilding faith and confidence in our own judgment and value. What would be of more value would be to describe the circumstances leading to our feelings of self doubt and lay out some new perspectives and ground rules for disarming those feelings and returning to a balance in dealing with our own needs and the needs of others regardless of the social expectations currently in place. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not promoting complete selfishness when it comes to dealing with others’ needs and preferences, just a more even consideration when looking at these issues and how we face them. As I progress I will provide interesting and informative articles and insights toward rebuilding your personal faith and confidence in guiltlessly pursing your most fervent needs and desires! I’m also hoping that my efforts and online interactions will blossom into live in person seminars in the spring of 2015.
