08/11/2025
We don’t just “grow out” of childhood patterns.
We carry them—quietly—into every adult relationship, often without realizing it.
For most, this is NOT because our primary caregivers were villains. They were likely, often unconsciously, carrying on the patterns of previous generations.
Some of us protect ourselves by becoming Islands (Avoidant Attachment).
Others protect themselves by becoming Waves (Anxious Attachment).
Neither is wrong. Both are survival strategies our nervous systems built when love felt unsafe.
The problem?
What once kept us safe in childhood can keep us from the intimacy we long for now.
The good news:
Attachment wounds are not life sentences.
With awareness, compassion, and support, you can shift toward secure, balanced love.
💬 Which one feels more familiar to you—Island or Wave?
Comment below, save this for later, or send it to someone who needs to hear it.
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References:
Tatkin, S. (2010). Wired for Love
Levine, A., & Heller, R. (2010). Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment
Johnson, S. M. (2019). Attachment Theory in Practice
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