The EMDR Coach

12/19/2025

When Dr. Gabor Maté says mind and body are one, he isn’t being metaphorical.
He’s describing the literal biology of trauma.

In his interview on The Jay Shetty Podcast (credit: ), he explains that our emotions, nervous system, immune system, hormones, and even genetic expression are not separate parts.
They are one integrated survival system.

This is why trauma shows up everywhere:
In the gut.
In chronic illness.
In autoimmune disorders.
In overwhelm, dissociation, panic, shutdown.
In the places people are often told are “just physical.”

Trauma is not just a memory.
It is a physiological imprint the body continues to carry until it feels safe enough to reorganize.

And here’s where EMDR becomes so powerful.
EMDR doesn’t just help clients think differently.
It helps the nervous system experience safety differently.
It works with the whole human — brain, body, emotion, memory, and physiology — because, as Dr. Maté says, they were never separate to begin with.

This is why trauma therapy requires compassion, pacing, attunement, and a willingness to understand the body’s story, not just the cognitive one.

If you want deeper therapist tools for mapping trauma, conceptualizing cases, and planning EMDR in a way that honors the whole system, the EMDR Coach resources were created to support that work.
Send us a DM to get the link.

12/18/2025

When a child melts down, it’s not defiance.
It’s not manipulation.
It’s not them “trying to get their way.”

During a true emotional overload, a child’s thinking brain goes offline, and the survival brain takes over.
In that state, they cannot reason, problem-solve, or self-regulate.
They aren’t giving you a hard time — they’re having a hard time.

This is why consequences, lectures, or logic don’t work mid-meltdown.
The brain simply can’t receive it.

What does work?
Co-regulation.
Your tone, your breath, your presence, your steadiness.
A regulated adult nervous system teaches a dysregulated child what safety feels like.

Once the storm passes, then the learning can happen.
That’s where skill-building, reflection, and boundary-setting land.

And if you’re supporting families or working with kids in EMDR, tracking patterns, triggers, and progress is essential.
That’s why I created the EMDR Therapy Progress Journal, to help clinicians and caregivers map what’s actually changing across sessions.

Comment “Journal” and I’ll send the link directly to you.

12/18/2025

Gaslighting yourself sounds like insight, but it is often self-abandonment.

If your inner voice says:
• “I should not feel this way.”
• “Other people had it worse.”
• “I am overreacting.”

That is not emotional regulation. That is learned self-gaslighting.

Validating yourself sounds different:
• “It makes sense I feel this way.”
• “My nervous system is responding to something real.”
• “I can acknowledge this without judging myself.”

Validation does not mean you stay stuck.
It means you stop arguing with your nervous system long enough to actually heal.

In EMDR work, this shift matters.
You cannot reprocess what you keep invalidating.

If you want help practicing this between sessions, the EMDR Therapy Progress Journal was created for exactly this work. It helps you track emotions, notice patterns, and validate your experience without spiraling or minimizing.

Grab the EMDR Therapy Progress Journal at the link in bio and start meeting yourself with more honesty and less self-blame. Comment Journal to get the link.

P.S. Validation is not indulgent. It is corrective.

12/15/2025

There’s a moment in every EMDR therapist’s career when you sit back and think…

“Wow. This really works.”

For me?
I have that moment every single day.

Even after years of doing this work, it still feels wild to watch someone’s nervous system shift, settle, and reorganize in real time.
It looks like magic, but it isn’t magic.
It’s the brain doing exactly what it’s wired to do when given the right conditions for healing.

And honestly… it never stops being cool.

This conversation on Unapologetically Crunchy dives into the science, the real-life moments, and the parts of EMDR that continue to surprise even seasoned clinicians.

🎥 Video credit:

If you want the full blog breakdown, links to watch and listen, and all the clips from the episode, visit the link below to read the full blog.

https://www.danacarretta.com/post/eye-movements-wild-dreams-real-healing-emdr-explained-with-dana-carretta-stein

12/14/2025

Your first EMDR session is not about diving into trauma.
It’s about safety, pacing, clarity, and helping your therapist understand how your nervous system responds to stress.

Most people walk into EMDR thinking they need to “get everything out” right away.
You don’t.
Your only job in the beginning is to show up as you are. The rest is part of the process your therapist will guide you through.

When you understand what actually happens in those early sessions, you walk in with more confidence, more clarity, and a lot less pressure to be “prepared” in some perfect way.

If you want the full breakdown of what to expect and how to prepare without overwhelming yourself.

Read the full blog:
“How to Prepare for Your First EMDR Therapy Session: The crucial steps nobody talks about.”

https://www.danacarretta.com/post/first-emdr-therapy-session-preparation

P.S. You don’t need to know how EMDR works to start EMDR. You just need a therapist who understands your system.

12/13/2025

Noticing that you’re handling things differently lately?
That’s usually the first sign that your window of tolerance is expanding.

Growth doesn’t always look dramatic.
Most of the time, it looks like softer reactions, quicker recovery, and the ability to stay present with what used to overwhelm you.

As your capacity increases, EMDR work becomes smoother, relationships feel safer, and your nervous system stops treating every stressor like a threat.
This is the work your brain does behind the scenes, long before big external changes show up.

Want support building emotional capacity or strengthening your EMDR process? Explore EMDR Coach resources, tools, and workbooks to help you deepen your practice. Visit the page through link below:
www.danacarretta.com/shop

P.S. Expansion doesn’t mean perfection. It means more choice, more steadiness, and more self-trust.

12/12/2025

Eye movements. Intense dreams. Real healing.

In my recent podcast interview with Unapologetically Crunchy Podcast, we talked about what is actually happening in the brain during EMDR, why eye movements matter, and why EMDR can feel so vivid sometimes.

Spoiler: it is not hypnosis, not magic, and not about erasing memories.

After the conversation, I created a blog that breaks it all down in plain language.
The blog includes:
• A clear EMDR overview
• The full podcast video
• Direct links to Apple and Spotify

If you are a therapist, client, or just EMDR-curious, this one is worth your time.

👉 Read the full blog. https://wix.to/FIhEZo5

Big thanks to Unapologetically Crunchy Podcast - for the thoughtful conversation and space to go deep.

If you’ve ever wanted EMDR explained in a way that feels human, science based, and actually useful, this conversation delivers. In her guest appearance on the Unapologetically podcast, Dana breaks down eye movements, dreams, nervous system healing, and how real reprocessing happens in EMDR therapy...

12/12/2025

Firm and kind.
Two words that capture what so many parents (and therapists) are trying to balance every day.
In EMDR and trauma informed work, we see this play out again and again. Kids don’t need perfection. They need boundaries that feel safe and correction that doesn’t shame their developing nervous system.
As Doc Amen reminds us, the best coaches aren’t the ones who point out every mistake.
They’re the ones who notice what’s going well, and gently teach the skills that still need support.
That’s co regulation.
That’s attachment.
That’s how a child learns, “I can grow, and I’m not broken for needing help.”
Firm enough to guide.
Kind enough to protect the relationship.
Parents don’t need more pressure. They need tools that help them show up with clarity and compassion.
And if you’re a therapist supporting families through this work, remember: the way you model boundaries and attunement becomes part of your client’s healing.

Credit:

Grab EMDR Free resources, including parenting strategies. visit: www.danacarretta.com/free

12/11/2025

Because no protocol, no target plan, and no beautifully crafted interweave will land if your client’s nervous system doesn’t feel safe with you.

Attunement is the foundation that makes EMDR effective.
It’s how the brain decides, “I can settle… I can stay with this… I’m not alone in it.”

When we rush into reprocessing, we miss the signals telling us a client needs pacing, resourcing, or simply a moment to reconnect with their body.

But when we lead with presence, curiosity, and regulation, EMDR becomes smoother, deeper, and far less chaotic for both therapist and client.

If you want support building clearer EMDR plans, strengthening your clinical reasoning, or improving your confidence in session, check-out The EMDR Coach Resources, visit the link below:
www.danacarretta.com/shop

P.S. Attunement isn’t extra. It’s the work.

12/10/2025

If you want the anxiety to shift, you have to stop running from it.

Avoidance feels protective in the moment, but long term it teaches your nervous system that the thing you fear is actually dangerous.

And you deserve better than living in a loop with your anxiety.

Here is the reframe I offer my clients and consultees all the time: Your anxiety is not the enemy. It is data. It is your system tapping you on the shoulder saying something in your past or present needs attention.

The real change happens when you turn toward the thing that feels uncomfortable, at a pace your body can tolerate.

Try asking yourself:
• What exactly am I avoiding today
• What is the story my anxiety tells me
• What is one tiny step I can take that moves me toward, not away

Healing is not about eliminating anxiety. It is about building the capacity to face what used to overwhelm you.

Want more support regulating your system while you do the deeper work? Check out our EMDR Therapy Resources, Link in my bio.

12/09/2025

Trauma informed therapy is not a specialty, it’s a standard of care.
Whether you’re practicing in Scarsdale or anywhere else, clients deserve treatment that understands the nervous system, honors safety, and avoids retraumatization.

This new blog breaks down what trauma informed therapy actually means and why it matters more than ever for both clients and clinicians.

Read the full blog:
Why Trauma Informed Therapy Is a Must in Scarsdale (and Everywhere) https://wix.to/TpnmfJa

Loss never disappears, but EMDR helps you carry it with more peace.