Capital Psychology

12/19/2025

❤️‍🩹

In an unhealthy family system, the healthiest person will often cause the most conflict. This isn’t because you’re doing something wrong—it’s because your growth, boundaries, and healthy behaviors disrupt the system’s status quo.​​​​​​​​
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When you start to heal, set boundaries, or refuse to participate in harmful patterns, the system reacts. It resists the change you’re creating, even when that change is desperately needed.​​​​​​​​
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But remember this: friction doesn’t mean you’re the problem. It means you’re transforming the dynamic.​​​​​​​​
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Keep going. ​​​​​​​​
Healing yourself is a courageous act, and in doing so, you’re creating the possibility of healthier patterns for future generations. ​​​​​​​​
You are breaking the cycle. ​​​​​​​​
You are the catalyst for change. ​​​​​​​​
꩜🕊️♥︎ Ella​​​​​​​​
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12/11/2025

Emotional regulation isn’t instinctive — it’s taught, modelled, and practised.

Our new visual breaks it down into clear, evidence-based steps that shape every one of our interventions available in our Resource Store.

If you’re supporting a child whose emotions sometimes feel too big to handle, our toolkit MANAGING BIG FEELINGS offers the guidance you need — practical, compassionate, and grounded in neuroscience.

Inside you’ll find calming strategies, visual aids, conversation prompts, and tools for parents and educators — all designed to help children turn big emotions into skills for life.

Link below in comments ⬇️ or via our Linktree Shop in bio to explore the toolkit — and follow along today as we share more examples on modelling and teaching emotional regulation.

12/10/2025

Enablers will never truly see you.
They protect the abuser by minimizing your experience, and finding a way to blame you. That’s not a reflection of your worth—it’s a reflection of their loyalty to abuse.

It’s okay that they don’t see you. You don’t want to be seen or validated by people who excuse harm or turn a blind eye to cruelty. Your healing, voice, and truth deserve to be surrounded by those who care—not those invested in protecting abusers. You matter-remember that.💜

12/08/2025

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12/05/2025

🙏🏻❤️

Love this. Rather than reacting to children’s anger and taking it personally, we can look underneath the hurtful words and behavior and find the need. This helps us understand what is going on and what kids might need to hear, in order to feel better. 🫶

We Nurture Collective

12/05/2025

Green flags! 🙏🏻❤️

Gentle Reminder Of How Emotionally Safe People Show Up In Relationships

11/26/2025

Twelve- to thirteen-year-olds feel emotions with an intensity that often surprises the adults around them. Their brains are undergoing enormous hormonal and neurological change, social pressure is rising sharply, and identity exploration is in full swing.

What looks like overreaction, moodiness, or shutdown is often a young person overwhelmed by feelings their developing brain can’t yet regulate. They aren’t being dramatic — they’re navigating one of the most complex stages of emotional development.

Today’s visual breaks down what emotional regulation really looks like at 12–13 years, and why steady adults, clear boundaries, and co-regulation are still essential.

For support in helping your young person manage big feelings, you can find our Managing Big Feelings Toolkit via the link in comments below ⬇️ or through the Linktree Shop in Bio.

-regulation

11/25/2025

Fourteen isn’t 'too old' to struggle with big emotions — it’s the age where everything is changing at once.

Brain development, hormones, identity, friendships… it’s a lot to hold inside a body that’s still learning emotional regulation.

Here’s what big feelings can sound like through the eyes of a 14-year-old girl. It’s not attitude. It’s not disrespect. It’s development.

As usual, the male version is also being posted today.

Look out for our new series - 'Emotional Regulation Through The Years'.

If you’re supporting a young person who feels things deeply, my Managing Big Feelings Toolkit is designed to help them build the skills they need with calm, brain-based strategies.
Find it via the link in comments below ⬇️ or through the Linktree Shop in Bio.

11/16/2025

True emotional repair means acknowledging how your behavior impacted your partner, validating their pain, and taking responsibility without defensiveness. It means saying, “I understand why you feel that way. I want to know more. I want to do better.”
When we can hold our partner’s feelings with empathy instead of shame, we create the emotional safety that allows trust to rebuild and connection to grow stronger.

11/14/2025

11/13/2025

Following today’s series on the five Protective Responses, I wanted to share an additional reflection — one that comes from over 30 years of working in schools and supporting children through dysregulation.

Sometimes, when a child’s flight response is activated and they’re prevented from escaping — being stopped, cornered, or told to stay put — the nervous system shifts into fight.
Not from aggression, but from fear.
When the way out is blocked, the body switches from “I need to get safe” to “I have to defend myself.”

Over the years, I’ve advised schools to create safe spaces to run to, rather than restraining or blocking a child in distress.
A pre-agreed, calm space — where adults know where the child is and can offer quiet supervision — allows the nervous system to regulate before re-engagement.

This can be supported through a simple social story (depending on age and understanding), helping the child know when, how, and where they can take space safely.
When safety is predictable, the need to fight often disappears.

You can also explore our Timeline of a Meltdown visual to understand how these protective responses unfold in real time — printer-friendly A4 portrait and landscape versions available via Linktree Shop in Bio ⬇️

11/13/2025

When a neurodivergent child reaches meltdown, it’s rarely “out of nowhere”.

There is always a build-up.

Understanding the timeline helps us respond with empathy, attunement and support — not punishment or shame.