09/20/2018
He Was Look’n At Me!
There are far too many who are more than willing to get into a fight with little or no provocation. Of all the rationalizations I’ve heard, my favorite and the one I’ve heard the most is the infamous “He was look’n at me!” Somehow, somewhere looking at someone became enough of an instigation to beat someone to pulp as anything else. I’d like to say we as a society can do better, but that just doesn’t’ seem to be an option.
Sadly, this isn’t something new. For as long as I can remember, and I’m guessing long, long, long before that, picking a fight with someone over the most trivial nonsense has been some people’s preferred way of life. While typically a male characteristic, females can be just as quick to strike out as males.
The cause? It could be anything. Alcohol/drugs, ego and mental health issues generally top the list. There’s also unchecked and misdirected anger, violent upbringing and general disrespect for anyone other than themselves. But even if we understand why, we still need to have to deal with the threat they cause.
Many of us in the Second Amendment community carry a firearm for personal protection. This is great, and there is no better deterrence against violent assault. But to use your firearm – and use may range from just warning your potential attacker you are armed to gripping, holding, aiming or even firing – you have to be faced with a threat sufficient to justify a firearm’s use. Not every situation is a deadly force one and you need to be prepared to respond with non-lethal / less-lethal options.
How many of you carry a non-lethal option as part of your EDC (everyday carry)? I am always amazed at how many people – including off-duty law enforcement – carry a firearm but not a non-lethal option. And no, a knife doesn’t count, that’s lethal force. I’m talking about something like pepper spray, mace, Taser, stun gun or impact weapon – and the training to use it effectively. Hand to hand defensive techniques or some form of martial arts is also important as a last line of defense.
However, there’s something more important than all the weapons and other things you bring with you, it’s how to NOT get in the fight in the first place. It starts with being aware of your environment and continually accessing any possible threats to your safety. If you do perceive a threat, you need to be willing and able to remove yourself from the situation as quickly as possible.
As critical as all of the defensive techniques are, there’s one skill that can’t be over stressed. It’s your verbal skills. Sometimes called conflict de-escalation techniques or verbal Judo, it’s your ability to talk someone out of the fight they want to have with you. It requires preparation and quick thinking, but it can be very effective. Maybe you have to eat a little bit of crow, swallow some pride or simply walk or run away, but NOT being in the fight is what counts.
If you’re thinking there’s nothing wrong with a good fight to defend your honor or the honor of someone with you, here’s something to consider. Unless your name is Chuck Norris, there is always going to be someone out there bigger and badder than you. Even if you know you can kick that special idiot’s ass, how about his / her three friends who are going to show up out of nowhere? What if one or all of them have weapons you didn’t count on? Is it worth getting into the fight then if you have a chance to resolve it another way? It’s not about not being manly, macho, strong, brave or tough enough, it’s about being smart.
Now let’s say you’ve done everything right to avoid a dangerous situation, did everything you could to de-escalate to no avail or simply had no warning of an impending attack. At that point, keep this saying in mind. ‘If you’re gonna fight, fight like you’re the third monkey on the ramp to Noah’s Ark and brother it’s starting to rain.’ It’s all about your survival at that point and the third monkey isn’t going down easily.
I’ve seen a lot of fights that have started from a ‘look’ or a few angry words. Tension escalates pretty quickly from there and the whole situation goes to crap faster than you can ever imagine. You need to be prepared, not just from a defensive techniques perspective, but also with proper situational awareness and verbal skills to avoid the situation in the first place. Believe it or not, it’s a lot harder to NOT get into a fight than it is to just start swinging.
Get the training you need to defend yourself, but be sure your education includes as many techniques to not get into the fight as it does to get yourself out of it. That’s what real safety is about.
Bob
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