Out of the Woods Counseling and Parenting Support

12/05/2025

Calling mental and behavioral health professionals!

Join me for this incredible event… learning, sharing, networking and Pita Jungle!

Join us for CSN’s December meeting featuring The ARC of Arizona’s Director, Melanie Mills & Administrative Assistant Sey In, speaking about Future Planning & Supported Decision-Making (Options of Support in Arizona for Individuals with Disabilities). Check your email today! Earn your final CE credit for the year!

12/11/2024

Great advice from a stellar organization!

New Yale study finds that when parents learn that letting their kids do things on their own is EDUCATIONAL, they intervene 50% less!

07/30/2024

Thank you Jewish News for the amazing article, and for helping spread the word about an exciting new treatment for Child Anxiety. I am honored to have been featured.

As therapist Jodi Woodnick listened to a speaker discuss SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) at a national gathering of summer camp mental health professionals, she found herself nodding

04/15/2024

There’s nothing better…

It’s dirty, it’s loud, the food is average on its best day, you get no space or time to yourself (even in the bathroom) and many of your belongings will

02/16/2024

We are looking forward to having childhood advocate/consultant, Katey McPherson, and child/adolescent counselor from Out of the Woods Counseling and Parenting Support, Jodi Woodnick, back at JGS for an important discussion on the impact of digital use and today's youth. 📱💻

Feel free to tag a friend below - this event is open to the community! RSVP here https://bit.ly/3QQeZgC

02/07/2024

Did you know that there are distinct differences in the ways anxious feelings are experienced by children vs adults?

Rethinking our approach can make a significant impact on treatment outcomes... and the lives of children and families living with anxiety.

Learn more here...
https://www.outofthewoodsaz.com/articles-and-insights/rethinking-childhood-anxiety

01/05/2023

Winter break is over... time to start thinking about Summer! Learn some pro tips to prepare your child for a transformative sleepaway camp experience in my new article, Tips for a Successful Sleepaway Camp Experience, published in this week's Jewish News.

Want to chat? Find me this weekend at the JKids and Teens Expo, this Sunday the 8th, noon-3pm at the Ina Levine Jewish Community Campus. You'll find me in my camp tee at the Camp Hess Kramer and Gindling Hilltop Camp booth.

As holiday decorations come down all around us and we settle into frigid mornings and shorter days, most people are thinking about getting back to “real” life. Me? I’m thinking

11/30/2022

The guilt is overwhelming. You yelled. You overreacted. You lost control. You said something unforgivable… and to someone you love more than anything. Maybe you did something you’re ashamed of and your child saw or heard. What now???

First of all, you’re certainly not alone. There is not a parent out there that can’t relate to these feelings of guilt and shame. We have all been through it, likely multiple times. Second, congratulations! What an incredible opportunity you have! Don’t waste it!

So often, we tell our children (as they lie to our faces about eating cookies through chocolate-stained teeth) that the best course of action in these situations is for them to own up to their mistakes. We want them to demonstrate great humility as they admit what they did, apologize, and vow to do better next time (difficult as this may be for most adults). I’ve seen it again and again… hours-long standoffs as parents (or teachers) wait for the epiphany that may never come.

Now, in the face of your own mistake, you have the chance to SHOW your children what TELLING them has yet to accomplish. How lucky are you??? And, as with most difficult situations, the HOW is actually pretty straightforward, but be prepared. It can also feel scary and vulnerable.

The first step is to think about what you expect of your child when the roles are reversed. Should they make excuses? Blame others? Should they minimize? Should they lie? I’m guessing that the answer to these questions is “no”. What should they do instead? They should tell the truth, acknowledge that what they did hurt someone, and apologize. Sincerely.

These are the same steps you can take when you’re the one who messed up. It could go something like this: “When I screamed at you earlier, I could see that you were scared and sad. I am so sorry.” No excuses, no “I’m sorry but…”, no extra talking*. Simple. Powerful. But not over.

What you do next really matters. Using the power of the emotional aftermath of the incident, take the opportunity to really examine what happened and why. Usually, mistakes of this nature don’t just happen. Was there an emotional trigger? Were you hungry, tired, stressed, angry? Were you dealing with something at work? With your co-parent? The more you can know about your emotional and/or physical state just before the incident or outburst, the more you can do to prevent it next time. The real power of an apology comes when we can show an effort to not repeat the same mistakes (at least not right away).

It is a dangerous game we play when we try to shield our children from our imperfections. In fact, the opposite is true. Let them see your humanity. Let them see that messing up is part of life. Teach them, by example, that it is not about whether or not you make a mistake. It’s about how you use it to grow. How else will they learn?

Parenting is hard. You don’t have to do it alone. www.OutoftheWoodsAZ.com

*Please don’t use your apology as a chance to rehash the thing your child did wrong that led to the screaming in the first place. At the same time, just because you made a mistake doesn’t mean that your child gets out of addressing the issue. Just separate the conversations.

11/19/2022

Want the secret to winning the parenting game? Everyone's favorite manager said it best... "Stay F^ #*ing Calm!!!"

In over 20 years of working with kids and families, I’ve become acquainted with several different parenting/teaching/”behavior management” programs and techniques... I’ve even trained others in a few. While there are nuanced differences between each of these programs (different words, slightly different order), they all have one critical component in common… they require that the caregiver is calm, focused and emotionally neutral.

The books and articles say that being calm is the MOST IMPORTANT factor required to master their program, yet they typically spend approximately 0.3% of the content (give or take) on the subject. You may be asking yourself, “How can I be calm when my child is yelling at the top of their lungs in Target?” “How does this author expect me to be emotionally neutral when my child is doing parkour on the furniture at bedtime?” or worse, “My child is hurling hideous insults at me. How on Earth do I not take this personally?”

The blanket expectation to simply “be” calm without practical strategies for how is where I believe even the best programs and strategies fall short. Here are three tangible steps you can take to begin to discover the unicorn known as “Calm”. Do these first, and you’ll be able to master any parenting tactic out there…

1) NOTICE
This may sound odd, but take a mindful moment to truly recognize what “calm'' feels like. What do you notice in your body? Take note of your heart rate, your breathing, your muscle tension, your body temperature, your posture. What about your mind? Assess the intensity of your feelings, the quality and pacing of your thoughts.

Most of us (especially those with small children) spend every waking moment, either at work or at home, in survival mode. We flit frenetically from task to task until wearily hitting our pillows at night only to do it again the next day. So, when we are asked to “be calm”, we may not TRULY know what that means. How can we aim if we don’t know where the target is?

2) PLAN
With your self-assessment in mind, find 1-3 strategies that can help get you to a calm and emotionally neutral state. They can be deep breathing, visualization, grounding techniques, and more. These strategies should be quick, simple, and you should be able to do them anywhere without any special equipment or supplies. (For example, if your best calming strategy is doing Yoga on a beach, that might not be the best strategy for a parenting moment in Costco.) Please don’t make this complicated… For me, standing still and taking one or two deep breaths with my eyes closed usually does the trick.

3) PRACTICE
You would never deliver a presentation, perform in a concert, play in the finals, take a test, or do anything else important without practicing first. We ask children to practice fire and lock-down drills repeatedly. Why? Because WHEN IT MATTERS, they will know exactly what to do. Their safety depends on it. This is no different. PLEASE do not wait until the tantrum in the Target toy aisle to use your calming strategies for the first time… it will be too late. You’ll be too emotional and too worked up to remember anything, and you’ll find yourself reverting to old parenting habits that have already proven unsuccessful.

Find multiple times during each day, even 1 minute at a time (in the shower, at your desk at work between meetings, in the car, on the toilet if you have to), to bring yourself to the calm and emotionally neutral state you identified in step one. Practice enough, and WHEN IT MATTERS, you’ll be a pro. Prioritize your practice. Your family is worth it.

Here's a list of quick and easy calming strategies
https://www.outofthewoodsaz.com/articles-and-insights/12-calming-techniques-you-can-use-anywhere

11/04/2022

Is your teen struggling with insecurity and self-doubt? Do you wish you could help, but it feels like everything you say or do is wrong?

As parents, there is nothing more painful than sitting on the sidelines of our children’s heartbreak. We want to fix it, make it go away. We go to great lengths (and sometimes, great expense) to curate the perfect wardrobe, enroll in the tae kwon do classes that promise to “build confidence”, ensure participation in the best sports, youth groups, and camps. Our life experiences tell us that the pain is temporary, that the intensity of the feelings will diminish over time. Yet, our efforts to dull the pain fall short more often than not, and even lead to arguing, shouting and crying.. Or worse.

What are we missing?

In our desire to make the pain go away, many of us fall victim to patterns that may actually send dismissive or condescending messages to our teens. Rather than jumping straight to advice, cheerleading, minimizing, finding the “bright side,” and/or blaming or criticizing others, give your teen what they truly need from you in emotional moments… VALIDATION.

And to answer the question I know you’re thinking right now, No. Validating your teen’s feelings DOES NOT have to mean that you agree with them or condone their behaviors. It simply means you hear what they are saying and understand how they are feeling WITHOUT JUDGMENT.

Here’s how it’s done:

Make sure you are calm before engaging. Your child will likely be emotionally vulnerable and will need you to maintain an open and empathic yet emotionally neutral stance. Take your time to make sure you are ready. It is more important to be CALM and OPEN than to deal with the issue immediately.

Give your child your COMPLETE attention. Put your phone in another room. Close the door. You have one focus in this moment… your child.

💡Pro tip… DON’T BE AFRAID OF SILENCE. So often, silence makes us uncomfortable. Your child may just need a little time and space to formulate thoughts and words to share. Remember, this is new for them too.

Reflect your child’s words WITHOUT JUDGING (you can rephrase to show understanding). For example, “You invested a lot of time in your friendship with Becky when she was new to town. You gave her a chance when no one else would. Now, you feel like she’s snubbing you since she’s made friends with the popular group. That hurts.”

⚠️WARNING: In this example, the parent may have been tempted to talk about how Becky was never really that nice anyway, or how much of a jerk Becky is, or how shallow the “popular” kids are, and your child would never want to hang out with them anyway. These are the responses that can invalidate your child’s feelings, and lead to a shut-down of the conversation.

Ask questions for clarification and to confirm understanding (i.e., “Did I get that right?”, “Am I missing anything?”, “Is there anything else you’d like to add?”).

When your child is ready, and only after the emotional intensity has subsided, you may begin to problem-solve TOGETHER. Invite your child to participate in the process with you so they have ownership of the solution.

And that’s it… it is way simpler than adding tae kwon do to the schedule, and can be so much more fulfilling.